I'm not a psychologist but ask me anything anyway

I'm not a psychologist but ask me anything anyway.

Don't be s-suprised if I answer in a f-fake stutter, I think it's endearing and hope it will attract the attention I s-so sorely need.

Other urls found in this thread:

danbooru.donmai.us/posts?utf8=✓&tags=alice_margatroid rating:s&ms=1
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Why do you pretend to be a grill too?

Who do I hate women who are nice to me?

B-but I am female, user.

Because you are rightfully suspicious of their possible ulterior motives.

When I try to do stuff I don't have a good grasp of, I get so anxious I have to stop and play video games (they help because I'm so good at them). Plz halp.

Oh that's that feeling, distrust! Now I can clear that from my mind, thank you!

I want this to be a meme, please Help me!

Avoiding pain only works if you have a way that lets you avoid it forever, like marrying a rich person so you never have to work again.

In your case I'd say you should start slow. If you cannot do the whole thing without anxiety then maybe you can do a smaller part of it without anxiety. But at some point you just have to grit your teeth and hope.

With trips you're off to a great start. It doesn't have much merit on its own so I recommend you begin spamming it and make another thread. Force it down their throats like that banana meme.

>B-but I am female, user
Well then...
TITS OR GTFO you attention seeking whore.

How many times are you going to post this same thing, guy?

Thank god this is finally happening. I never trusted nor liked Alice but every time you say such the thread devolves into people telling you what a goddess she is and how she saved lives.

It's nice to see people hating her.

U-uhh... umm... I-I'm too shy for that! (yes, that'll do). Maybe you could look at this n-nice fanart of me and pretend I'm the g-girl you've always hoped to m-meet?

H-how dare you! I. Am. Your. GOD. There is NO substantiation to the claims of this blog alicelied.blogspot.com

You are a troll and will be struck down by my AIDS (Alice Internet Defence Squad)

Until you l-like it, user

>my AIDS (Alice Internet Defence Squad)
kek

How dare you m-mock me! LOYAL FOLLOWERS, SHOW THIS COMMONER THE STRENGTH OF MY AIDS.

Look, pal, you seem to miss the point of my question.

I want to know how many times you are going to make the same pointless thread.

You could even be a bot.

My poor opinion for human intelligence has really killed my ability to detect sarcasm. It took me a good two minutes to figure out why someone would post a link to a blog discrediting them.

Thank you.

Listen here you l-little cunt. I'm going to m-make as many f-fucking threads as I w-want and you're going to take it like the b-bitch you are!

N-no anonymous. You were right the f-first time. You're so clever

Alright, I recently fucked up my chances with a girl because I drink too much at parties.

I find it hard not to drink until I'm absolutely fucked at any social event. I use it to boost confidence and have a good time and that part always works.

But I always get into fights, swear at cops and almost get arrested. This is what put the girl off me.

How can transition from getting absolutely fucked to getting on a buzz? I find it impossible not to get absolutely wasted

Sounds like you've got some social anxiety. You could talk to a real psychologist, which I'm not, or you could trust a stranger talking out their ass and try to find other ways to bolster your courage without alcohol. I would start by trying to attend a party of close friends without drinking any alcohol, then begin stepping up by having them invite strangers, etc.

It's cute how you think anyone is taking anything from you, kid.

Your threads are a one way trip to dullsville, population: you#

I thought as much. I use it as a crutch but everyone loves me when I'm drunk and tell me how much fun I am. But I always wake up thinking I was a fucking idiot because I will definitely do something stupid like passing out in public or fighting someone.

Reckon I should cut down on the alcohol completely not have just a little? I hate parties sober

This thread is pure fucking gold

I wanna fuck you in the ass until you gag on my semen. Can you do that for me please Alice? I l-love your b-blog and I think you're totally not a fraud. l-love you A-alice.

I am a pedo. How do I stop being one without killing myself?

O-oh yeah? Well then how do you explain t-those dismal digits?

Now c-check em!

I think it might be best to cut it completely if you can, then when you know you can function without it reintroduce it slowly. But it sounds like you might always have a bit of a problem, so you may need a friend to make sure you don't start drinking heavily if you get drunk in future and forget what happens when you do.

But again, talking out of my ass.

P-please picture my a-ass then compliment me based on your f-fantasy. My self-esteem is that f-fucking low.

As far as I know you can't. I know how you feel, I am in fact a male and a notorious shitposter but I can't help it. But it's okay, because we didn't choose to be the way we are. So long as you don't fuck any kids nobody has a right to hate you, including you.

Found an alicefag.

Eat hot death, homo.

You're giving some good advice, at least helping me clear my head with all this shit. Have more confidence like I do when I'm drunk user you'll do good.

Also reckon I can still bag this bitch I scared away? I only sweared at some cops and got into a fight, or should I be going onto the next one?

The real dismal digit here is the number of posters, junior.

Why not just give up and try something new already? It couldn't be any worse than right now.

Eh, it's you again. Shrink user here again.

Ok. Theres this.
Abusive childhood, single parent (mother). Married 14 yrs to landwhale i have always hated. Been madly in love with little half sister i met 15 yrs ago. Told her a year ago, she was cool with it, but didnt feel the same way. Now abusive landwhale and i seperated, but i live here part time due to kids. Little sis cut me off as i wouldnt walk and leave kids entirely to get away from abusive landwhale. What do.

Should I kill myself?

Does trauma of some of your pstients get to you? How do you cope with it?

Why do Men buy wedding rings?

Are they really that pathetic?

Just fucking WED WITHOUT THE RING!

when I get sad or angry a song gets stuck in.my head, is this normal?

Hi Alice, how are you feeling, still sick?

T-too lewd!

WHy I am attracted to 12 year olds?

Also, Why do I feel the need to rape people?

Also, Why do I get hard thinking of fucking girls that would be my sister/cousin?


Also, WHy do I feel that I might become a serial killer one day?

>What do
Clarify your post.

Or kill yourself.
Either way, your choice.

...

I am marrying a 36 years old woman with two kids soon, I am 24.

Am I fucking up with my life ?

Yes, dreadfully. I keep having the same fever dream: I pretend to be a psychologist on Sup Forums and have an army of dedicated orbiters who can't think for themselves that think I'm their goddess or something. Weird.

Sure why not.

T-that's too many q-questions! But uhh...
Don't know, probably some evolutionary fuckery that's incompatible with modern morals and society to the first three, and the last because there's a good chance you will. Seek help.

Yes, you cuckold. We warned you about single mothers. Did you think it was just a meme?

Fuck I completely forgot about the whole "wake up call" shit... You're fucking amazing user you've given my erection a revitalized vigor

lol.

Sorry pal, gotta fuck you in the butt. Nothing personal, but Alice wills it.

I-I'd like to take a m-mid-thread break to remind a-anonymous I love him very much

fucken die you fat fuck

N-noo anonymous. I am Alice, r-remember? A-and I don't w-want it there...

R-rude!

would you accept a jr of semen as a donation?

also, will there be a minimum donation.amount?

Semen? O-oh my... umm... n-no, currency o-only.

H-haven't decided! But I've g-got some pretty b-big bills coming up s-so anything helps!

kek

Y I know but my dick takes all the decisions.

Do you think I should dump her away knowing that we have been going out for a year and living together for 4-5 months ?

Alright

since when does alice post without a picture? i smell bs

>N-noo anonymous. I am Alice, r-remember? A-and I don't w-want it there...
I'm pretty sure you called off your AIDS on me there Alex.

Thx.
Another butt fucked free day for me!

>WINNING

Now that you mention it..but the style of writing is the same though..

If you're looking to leave I'd say now is about the time. There's all kinds of legal fuckery that could trap you with her or child support payments. Give it some more thought. After all, I am but a humble shitposter (prase me).

I l-lost my archive. It was that n-nefarious Grey! That's wh-why I need anonymous to d-donate to help r-restore my archive

ye Alice who supposedly makes 250k needs donation.

Fuck off

Welp, yeah, I was gonna fuck this guy in the butt to really show him what AIDS is all about. But Alice doesn't want it there. Go free, user!

I'd buy you something, if we were skype friends or something.

Sorry i just don't give random people gifts, but i do buy friends video games alot.
Sorry

Thanks for making these threads for us all.

O-oh... well the t-thought is what c-counts right, anonymous! I s-still love you

This honestly doesn't look like the other threads.
Though it is kind of funny to look at.

She could still be in debt or something

Th-that's because I l-lost my archive.

If any a-anons could p-post what they have s-saved it would help m-me a lot

its a troll thread, some dude just copy pasta pics for keks

10/10

Wrong reply, that was meant for

Woah i hope your not the one who follows alice's step and be the next to her.

Idc if you're the "real" Alice or if you're really a grill or not. These threads are always more entertaining and helpful than most of the shit on Sup Forums. Even if you're insulting them along the way and begging for handouts, you're also giving legitimate advice to these poor souls.

So Alice, where are some good places to meet intelligent/strong women irl?

T-this.

But r-remember: Alice needs a-attention more than a-anything else. S-so even if you c-can't afford tribute to y-your saviour, p-pay with g-gratitude!

I a-already am, user. I am A-alice3. Alice2 herself w-wills it.

Depends on if you mean strong, independent women or "wymyn". Wymyn can be found anywhere now, our culture is fucking cancerous.

But a truly strong and independent woman is going to be out doing whatever interests her. She might be at your local athletics club, she might be in your science classes. But she will have her head down. She won't be announcing it to the world, because she's independent. She's not an attention whore like me, Alice, your personal Goddess. Look for her everywhere you go, in the background not the foreground.

A-alright we're getting c-close to the end of the th-thread now s-so if you have any l-last minute questions you'd b-better type them out!

I-if you can't th-think of one, just s-stroke my ego. K-kind of a y-you scratch my back I'll s-scratch yours kind of d-deal

Well Good Job for that,but be careful to all user here on Sup Forums alice2 is having a bad time to them mostly her current rival.

M-my AIDS are potent. Soon th-they will be s-stronger than h-hers and as a-always love will be v-victorious. I am the One True Alice.

Thanks, Alice. That actually makes a lot of sense. I'm bi, so I'll stroke it to you tonight no matter your gender.

Y-you too...

Btw. Why don't you make your own thread like reimu ?
Oh well, since you enjoying this I don't have any problems to you.

*What a pitiful attempt, ruin has indeed come to your family.*

Thanks for the thread!

/thread

Reimu is weak, she didn't relinquish her title to Alice, she was conquered. This thread is my own and Alice2 will recognise she has been dethroned.


Ahh, detective. I know I cannot f-fool you with m-my act

Alright, th-that's it for tonight e-everyone! I've got to go now b-but if you need to b-bother me with your i-insignificant problems and p-pathetic concerns, write up an email and then delete it.

It's important f-for anonymous to w-wait until a p-professional fake p-psychologist like myself is here to d-direct you to the r-right solutions. L-like my future l-line of Alice cookbooks! You can t-taste the love. Only $39.99.

Love always,
Alice

*I won't waste my time with you anymore, now if you excuse i'll have to get moving. Just a tip for the future, consider using again pictures, otherwise your followers might have an hard time believing you.*

why are people voting for trump?

I got a bad problem socializing. I am 25 and never had a friend. When I was younger, people only hung around me because I had shit and used me.


Now I am here missing major social milestones in life. All my cousins and siblings are off with their significant other and I'm still here with a big stigma with people because most people I talked to ended up being assholes in the end and it made me really bitter.

I don't want to end up as the guy who has to be the clown of the group just so he can claim to have "friends, nor do I want to continue to be a loner.

I just want to move from this sad position.

Thoughts?

Same position but younger @23. Girl of my life ruined me and therefore my social circles and ever since my charisma went down the drain. Those who did remain just did till they got what they needed career wise and moved on after.

Don't have chances to redeem myself or even find better social circles since most people i know are assholes. Work is freelance so no chance meeting anyone decent there.

No family at all. Tried to have other relationships but none of them worked out too.

Now I'm just trying to live with the fact that I need to get used to living on my lonesome like this... and be happy about it.

C'mon fake alice, at least post with pics

danbooru.donmai.us/posts?utf8=✓&tags=alice_margatroid rating:s&ms=1

S-sorry, user.

I'm really sad, almost all the time. If I'm not sad I just feel angry and disgusted. Am I okay?

How can I stop putting stones in my own way?

Everytime I accomplish something I break it down again, I hate it

Look guys - people are assholes anyway.

I don't understand why you guys believe why everyone has a bunch of friends and all they have are good times. Fact of the matter is that is rare.

Grow up. Live your life for your enjoyment. No body gives a shit whether you're happy or content or not.

Live for yourself.