Ate some edibles at BBQ about 5pm

>ate some edibles at BBQ about 5pm
>start work at 10pm fuck it I'll be ok
>feel fine at 7 so eat 3 more
>feel high at about 8 but not wasted
>set off home in car at half 8
>very short drive
>home in 5 min
>get out of car puke guts out in front of all neighbours as they are animals who BBQ in their front gardens
>legs go wobbly, insanely high
>gf runs out ask me wtf I'm doing
>manage to mumble 'tell neighbours food poisoning' so I don't look like I'm drink driving
>she explains I've been at a BBQ and gotten sick from the food
She always covers my ass
>I'm inside trying to make a drink

Cont...?

Yes bump

No

Does this end with spaghetti or anal? I want this story to end with anal or spaghetti

bump

You wrong for that one

Honestly this user is right.

Modify the story with anal spaghetti.

>she runs back In to find me pissing into my cupped hands
I was told later about the full details I don't remember it as this
>thought I was pouring water in a glass fuck knows
>she tells me she was trying to get my phone to ring my boss to make a excuse for me as I clearly wasn't going to make it
>tells me when she was going into my pocket I was grabbing her hand and rubbing it all over my bare anus
>she finally got the phone and rang my boss telling him I was puking my guts out from BBQ food earlier he gives his best
Call me a fucking fag but this girl is a real nigga she's cool as fuck under pressure and pulls me out all kinds of shit


CONT

>feel fine
>eat 3 more

Do you even drugs, user?

Op here

If you care to read the rest of the story you will see why I was acting this way

Then fucking get your girlfriend to type this shit because your WPM score is Fucking Waste Of Time Asshole.

Jesus fucking Christ what a nerd

good. wife her up

You got a good one homie

This fucking website is built on nerds you dipshit.

bumping for interest

The next part of the story is where the Time Wizard shows up and curses user into a lifetime of slow motion.

...

why would we evem care about shit liek this?

This is everything she told me

>tells me she came back downstairs after ringing my boss
>I had vanished
>car had vanished
>she ask neighbours if they saw me
>tell her I just got in car and drive off nothing unusual
As I work nights my boss isn't in work at the same time as me I only work with one other guy in the plant and he is basically a hippie stoner
>she figures i would of headed to work out of instinct
>she doesn't have the number for my stoner work friend to warn him I might show up
>decides to ring my boss makes excuse she needs number of stoner work friend from him b/c I was going to give him a lift and she wanted to pre warn him
>he agrees and gives her number
Clever girl


Cont??

Ye

im listening

Goddammit I hate it when people say continue all the time
Yes just get on with it.
Fuck sake

Found the nigger

...

>can't hold his drugs
>relies on a woman
Op is nigger or wetback

This is like when everyone crowded around Billy Spivey in 6th grade because he swiped one of his old man's beers and told us what it's like to get shitfaced. Then we all got drunk in high school and found out that Billy is just a pussy and a liar.

fuck off frasier