Kirby just inhaled you

Kirby just inhaled you

what powers did he just get?

Herpes

the power to fold clothes really quickly

>black
>clinical depression
>possible autism
>conversational Japanese
>loneliness
>dick-psoriasis
>a shit-ton of memories he'd like to forget

Procrastination

being really good at csgo

Depression

Telepathy
To hear the niggers brains for rest of his life

A nasty fucking blister on his right little toe

Aids

...

Alcoholism.

The power of being a suprime gentleman and driving a bmw A klasse while wearing a guggi armani sunglasses.

Cocain addiction

Speedreading.

The power of being Asian but having white skin.

Invisibility

childhood obesity/crippling depresion

The power to wave at people at the exact moment they look in a different direction so they miss that you waved at them but some other random person you don't know saw that you just waved at nobody.

shitposting

He got the power of weed man.

>it's you

Obesity

He's now 6 ft 9 and has crippling depression along with anxiety and borderline personality disorder.

on the outside he looks like me but on the inside hes dead

massive dick

severe depression

Kirby becomes bulimic

Yup.

physical strength coupled with crippling social anxiety and also good looks.

He's not morbidly obese, but he is a wizard.

now*

autism

Hahahahaha, you guys crack me up with your edgy depressions and general narcisitic tendencies. I get that depression is real, but so is the cure, stop pretending its a life sentence and fucking get off all your fat/tall/anorectic/whatever shape asses. pls.

Win

The power to fap to feminine penises

>uses edgy unironically while being edgy.
you have transcended chromosomes.

Didn't know you browsed /b. Dr Phil.

Shit on demand.

Cardiopathic Arrhythmia
Autistic tendencies
Fucked up lungs
Possibly skin cancer
High aptitude for learning

you sound like you are stickie to the touch

Oh i'm everywhere son. Also while im here, let me tell you about my wife, kids, dog, my 8 new books, my all new show, my grankids first tooth, all my life experiences and then maybe ill have time to listen to some of your problems.

>my sides

Only when I workout.

Ha

Nigger

Faggots

Man, you dont even know about my chromosomes

newfag.

>Nigger
I feel speshul.

Oh and i guess thats the power kirby gets, all the chromosomes

Oh I struck a nerve!

constantly high

sure you did faggot.

> Cardiopathic Arrhythmia
> Depression
> social anxiety
One if these things is not like the other one user, having a weak heart as a result of a heart attack isn't exactly "faggotry" like mental disorders.

depression
ADD
social anxiety
either delayed orgasm and a dick in its ultimate form for 1 hr post coitus or 0 libido and and a flacid dick

when he presses b he becomes apathetic and is inmune to any physical or emotional attacks
but he lacks the motivation and contemplates suicide but he doesnt want it enough to actually go through it and he never will and he knows he'll never do it so he just sits there and spends hours trying to jack off until he cums or is too tired to keep going and then falls asleep

> obesity
> depression
> big dick

>delayed orgasm and a dick in its ultimate form for 1 hr post coitus or 0 libido and and a flacid dick

Mediocreness ://///

Thats a really good power tho, mediocre can dissapear in a sea of averageness

Jaysus feck, you guys fucking suck @ life. Is everyone depressed here?? Kirby gets my love of playing sports, so he either gets the ability to charge enemies and tackle the shit out of them, or a baseball bat to beat his enemies with. Or a basketball to throw at those one-eyes little bastards.

he is a wizard now

"Autistic tendencies" also getting on an online image board and playing the whoa is me card is faggotry in itself.

Despair and a boner when I see and think about the death

depends on my medication

you searched google for an appropriate place to post and this is where your normie ass ended up? why do you try so hard to fit in everywhere you go chad?

Self-loathing, nihilism, low brain RAM, and idiocy.

No mine are more of shit to do with colours and a semi-photographic memory. Some other small shit too but those are the only two that I can remember as of now

Power to eat five chicken tendies

Chronic masturbation
/thread

That would be so awesome to see Kirby in a football helmet charging and tackling like 5 bad guys in a row. Or him wearing a baseball helmet carrying around a wooden bat slugging the shit out of bad guys to home runs, or him wearing a sweat band, bouncing a basketball throwing it at the bad guys face. Or even better, when they're defeated, he can dribble them and slam dunk them, or go for the free throw. I like the powers he'd get from meh.

He gets migraines and is allergic to pollen

Diabetis

OR
Or
or.... And here's the kicker. I'm just not a complete depressed, loser, piece of shit, social anxiety suffering, awkward, anti depression pill taking, weirdo. There's that possibility, too. But since you suck at life, you could also just hate me because my life is awesome and yours sucks. Don't be mad at me, be mad at yourself that you're such a loser.

having horrible regrets about love

hi Cedric

Porn addiction

>calling others autistic unironically
>browsing Sup Forums
Projecting much?

Genital warts

The power of summer.

check'd

>trying this hard.
what a fucking faggot.

Selective mutism
ayy

The power to turn people around you lonely.

Large dong

Kirby now can procrastinate tasks like a motherfucker.

No effort needed. You willingly publicize how much of a loser you are. No effort on my part needed. I bet it sucks being you, though. I would dislike you if you weren't such a pathetic loser.

Agorafobia

>Sup Forums is one person.
go play grab ass somewhere else.

The power to retain copious amounts of alcohol and still remain functional!
The power to start a 7 page paper 5 hours before class, finish it, and get a fucking A!
The power to start a 7 page paper 5 days before class and get a low B. In short, the power of overthinking!
The power of social anxiety!
The power of being really good at public speaking despite the social anxiety. In short, the power of vomiting words and people laugh at how adorably awkward you are!
And last, but not least, the power of Adult ADHD! This one is especially sneaky because no one believes it exists or you have it until they see how you go about your day.

Well, it seems like many of you share many of the same personality traits. Sad. Cheer up, man. And don't attack people randomly when you're obviously the one who has more cracks in their personality. I love life, and people enjoy my company, which is why I have friends and a girlfriend, and live actively. I don't think you can say the same, so you just come off as beta who is just lashing out because of your own life shortcomings. Sad, man. Sad. Go loser somewhere else.

>says the faggot randomly attacking people and assuming bullshit.
nigga seriously just kill yourself.

Kerby gained the powers of!:
Complete emotional numbness
Suicidal thoughts
Homocidal thoughts
Drug addictions
Pathalogical lying

Nigga...

So you're a negro! It must suck to be black. The absolute worst race in the world. Unanimously voted by everyone on earth as the shit race. Only recently has your position been challenged by the middle easterners. No further argument needed. You're black. That's proof enough that your life is shit.

Flatulence and a lack of interest

So Kirby gained the powers of a homeless person?

I'm not...Cedric...

>being this new.
come back when you graduate middleschool kiddo. you must be 18 to post here.

Kek
Not homeless though

Powers of
>Being second generation of race mixing
>Anxiety
>Asthma
>Being gnarly