I can't believe I'm asking Sup Forums for advice but I don't know where else to go...here's the context:
Been living with GF for 1 year, been together 4 years. Around December, January of this year things got a little rocky between us. We both had hectic schedules and it felt more like we were roommates then lovers.
Now for the shitty part. I found out she texted a guy she had been on a few dates with before we were together during the period where things were tough. Nothing too crazy, just a "Hey it's been a while I'd love to get a coffee blablabla" type shit. Nothing happened that I know of, but it was her birthday last week and I saw that she got a text from him saying Happy Birthday xxxxx with one of those pink heart emojis. She answered with something along the lines of Thanks, I would really like to see you blablabla.
Things have been going better but this whole situation is tripping me out. What do you guys think?
your relationship is over and she is cheating on you. do not tolerate this behavior, ever.
there is an attitude that floats around here mostly because everyone here is young and inexperienced, that all women will do shit like this. they won't. find one who you can trust.
you cannot trust this girl and relationships with someone you cannot trust are meaningless beyond sex
Angel Wilson
Yea if your in a relationship you just don't casually go out with a guy for coffee unless they are gay, family, and maybe childhood friends...not saying anything happened but that's trouble
Zachary Lewis
this.
dump her and go find someone else that is gonna make the time to see you. even when shit gets hectic
Jason Barnes
I've indirectly asked her about it and she has told me 'no' and she is a horrible liar. I'm not as young as most people here, almost 30, but I've never been in this position. I feel powerless.
Robert Baker
Tldr kill the nigger and marry her
Isaiah Hernandez
this her life now Sup Forumsro, you gotta let go
Grayson Taylor
Why be with someone you have doubts with? and shes given you the biggest fucking reason to doubt her. Trust can never be gained back 100%.
You've got some thinking to do, OP.
Adrian Gomez
"We both had hectic schedules and it felt more like we were roommates then lovers"
There's nothing to think; this stuff happens. Either try and do your best to work on the relationship, or accept if it's time to move on.
Robert Robinson
Get his number, tell him stay the fuck away from your woman with that flirty shit
Michael Rivera
>do not tolerate this behavior, ever
There's nothing to tolerate. as you said, there's no relationship. You go around making life hard for people you don't know who are fucking someone else? It's the same thing.
Angel Scott
/thread
James Baker
it doesn't matter what she said, the behavior is unacceptable and crosses a line. when things got rocky and you didn't communicate, she fucked him.
the indications are clear. a good relationship doesn't have these issues, man. been with the same girl for 7 years now after dealing with this shit from 10 different girls. they ARE out there but you have toLOOK HARD for quality women and DONT MAKE LOOKS #1 CRITERON.
Nicholas Adams
I don't know what kind of relationship you want, but I assume at the age of 30, you want something serious. In a serious relationship, you should never have to worry about your girlfirend texting some dude, who she used to date and maybe fucked with. That's a big "No-Go", especially if she lies about texting with him. Thats a fucking big, red cross. These are all the alarm signals you'll get until it's too late and you end up cheated with. There's no reason for someone in a relationship to text with someone you dated in your past. If she does that, she already plays with the idea of securing someone, if your relationship doesn't work out or maybe she is already thinking about cheating. It's your decision, but I can guarantee you, there are girls who would never do something like that. This isn't normal and don't get talked into thinking that.
Daniel Diaz
Checkd
Kevin Anderson
Damn who is this bitch?
William Robinson
(This advice is from a fellow 29 year old male who has been through two long term relationships, and countless little whores.)
I would simply tell her it's unacceptable for her to text past partners (or any men in general) and try to initiate small one on one encounters.
There should be absolutely no reason she wants to see this person.
If she can't handle the man who she is supposedly going to dedicate her life to and bear children with, telling her to cut the bullshit trying to hang out with past partners, then you should end the relationship.
It's that simple. If you have any integrity for your future, sanity, and your future children, put your foot down and evaluate if she is worth it. There are around 3.5 billion women in this world. Trust me. Your cheating cunt is not special.
Man the fuck up faggot.
Aaron Turner
It's a wonder you did not summon the cuck fetish part of Sup Forums. Seriously though, you will end up being unhappy wanting to change her to keep her but that is not how it works and it would cost you many nerves.
My opinion: wait the situation out for 2 weeks, don't try to get her back with that but get used to talking to other girls and going out with them aswell.
I wonder, if you knew the pain and crippled nerves that lie ahead of you if things go to shit, would you just say fuck it and end it before it hits you when you are not prepared.
To be honest my wife is like a puppy who only follows his owner, she clings to me and litteraly is obsessed with me, get something like this bro.
Daniel Robinson
How can I confront her about it though? I'm in a difficult position considering I found out by snooping her laptop and saw the imessages.
Leo Morris
>living with GF
Here's your problem. NEVER MOVE IN WITH A CHICK, PERIOD.
Jace King
Lol, I waited 3 years and until this situation we've never had issues, even minor ones. But I feel you, times were simpler when we lived apart.
Easton Jackson
>times were simpler when we lived apart That's the way it always is, you know. Pleasure without the responsibility.
Caleb Barnes
She has, is and will continue to suck his cock whenever you are not around, you sir are in fact, tasting the other guys' cum everytime you kiss her.
Landon James
How big of a role would play her opinion in your sourrundings if you just break up instantly? If that is out of option then just tell her you looked because you were suspicious, don't give a fuck about how noble she thinks you are, after all your conceirn turned out to be rightful.
Thomas Moore
Find the nigger, tell him you are not mad cause he fucked her, but that you want to know if he loves her. Depending on his response you either kill him, or not. Either way dump that biotch she prly smells like the other guys cum. NOW AND MOVING FORWARD EVERYTIME YOU SMELL HER PUSSY YOU WILL SMELL THAT NIGGER"S CUM
Mason Perez
Tell her what you saw, call her ass out OP! Tell her if she want to go see him so badly to go and get the fuck out of your house nuff said. Gotta man up and show her you aint gon put up with shit like that
Noah Bailey
We have a ton of friends in common which would make the break up a lot messier, but it's definitely not out of the question.
I feel like if I admit that I looked through her stuff, I will come out looking like the bad guy if ever they didn't actually do something. She probably won't trust me anymore, which in itself will end the relationship.
Isaiah Nguyen
Welcome to the progressive new world of sexual liberation. Why would any girl settle down when the cock carousal never stops?
Caleb Hughes
Don't remember her name but she's a regular poster on Reddit
Jacob Rogers
Confront her about it. Say you've seen her texting a guy when its been rocky between you two. Stand your ground and dont let her emotional reasoning tear your logic down. Girls have a knack for making you feel guilty when they're the one that fucked up. If she used to date this guy, and she's still texting him WHILE dating you, chances are she's fucking him or thinking about it. I've never heard about a girl who dated a guy and then ended up just friends with him.
in her mind they already broke up so technically it's not cheating. More something like a rebound
Colton Sullivan
just accept that you snooped, own it and she can't use it against you. like Eminem in 8 mile. tell her you live in a trailer park and wink fucked your girl and cheddar shot himself and future is an uncle Tom, then confront. you rub their ammo and put them on defense. Fuck free world