Anything goes thread, show me your secrets

Anything goes thread, show me your secrets

I impregnated a close friend of mine in my wife's bathroom. She still doesn't know.

You are a God

More like extremely lucky

deeetails

is it just show or can it be tell instead?

did you kill her before your wife could find out? if not, you should

bmp

thred is killz

when i was 15 i slept in the basement with my first girlfriend. I told everybody on the planet the next morning that we had sex all night.

What really happened:

I peed in my pants and she got it on her while she slept. When she woke up I was gone

but who was phone?

I once fingered a girl while she was half asleep and drunk. Next morning she accused me of raping her, went to the police. Things went on, stories twisted, charges against me were dropped and she was sentenced for telling false stories and falsely accusing me of raping after video evidence from the bar came into the game showing how she tried to hit on every guy.

what ?

My sister screw up my life. When i was 15 (22 now) my sister kept trying to get me in bed with her i didn't know why. One day i just gave in and had sex with her twice. Turns out she had AIDS which she gave me.

rring rring

exactly

hello?

Rekt

...

Hawaii-Pizza, what can I do for you sir

>finds sluttiest drunk girl in bar
>doesnt even get laid
lol

I need a big mac and a blow job

fuck off, faggot, he called me
do you have tacos?

fuck you im the nsa and im tapping your phone so fuck off unless you want a vacation to gitmo

i've got a flip phone, i can trash it and replace it for $20. good luck butt baby

Roger that sir, Big Mac is on it's way.

I also sended you my best man to give you the blow job. hue hue at first sir, i thought u ment blowjob but i realised u said blow job. huehue sorry sir. Have a good day
AND IF U EVER TOUCH MY DAUGHTER I WILL KILL YOU

are you implying i cant tap a phone from the 90s? lol. every phone is tapped, buying a new one is useless

no, i want tacos! he's an imposter! how old is your daughter?
are you happy now? i'm starving and you got shit-tier food.

We got tacos sir. Regular tacos, chili tacos, tiny tacos, cheese tacos, u name it sir

I post interracial threads to try to condition white guys into accepting it as normal. Also to condition them into developing a fetish.

so is he still coming to blow the leaves off my lawn or what?

Sir, did you call my daughter a he? Or am I blind sir. Am I blind. Sir.

I want a 3-gallon taco with meat, cheese, and honey. and a 2 liter of mountain dew voltage, if you have any

hold on sir, let me check out in the back real quick, it's very dark out there in the back so it might take a minut or 2

how old was she?
also Greentext pls

...

Here you go sir

that's not voltage! and there's no honey! i want my money back and i'm unsubbing from your youtube channel >:^(

I DONT KNOW WHAT U TALKING BOUT THIS IS WRONG NUMBER BYE respect my athorita mkay

I masturbated with a guy on omegle. We both said we were straight. I have suspicions otherwise.

HEY FUCK YOU MKAY I'M HUNGRY

She was 19 at the time.

And now I got your money AND more food in the back

wow thats hard 19 and AIDS and you with 15 and aids go hero and restart

GIMME BACK MY MONEY BEANER!

I thought about going hero too. But yea it sucks. That fact that she was willing to infect me is what hurts the most.

yep i understand that, i mean she´s youf sister ffs

come and get them I'M PREPARED

i'm outside your window and i've got my 3rd favorite knife. i'm comin for ya

...

on second thought, that walkie talkie looks really dangerous. keep the money and the food. i'm out.

well if the walkie talkie scared you more than Jack Nicholson with an axe, it would probably be the best. Good night to u sir. And u are welcome to call Hawaii-Pizza any time again. bye bye now