You walk into your son's room and find this in his closet, what do?

You walk into your son's room and find this in his closet, what do?

shove it up his ass sideways

son are you stealing from the museum again?

360 and GTFO

Wonder how the fuck he got a hold of ol woody that was locked up in my gun safe

Open a business, because that some fine craftsmanship.

Hmm, left it here again lat week. Well no reason to put it away now, we'll be using it tonight again in here.

Rape him repeatedly and beat him to an inch of his life for being queer. Like I do every Sunday morning.

I'lllll
Beeee
Riiight
Heeere

Wonder why he stole the stick shift from my waifu's car and hid it.

Leave it and don't ask questions

Spray it with benzene then put it back. He'll learn that being an assman doesn't pay unless you're a proctologist.

>look for his lube
>replace lube with bengay
>soak dildo in liquefied hot peppers of varying species until shortly before he comes home from school
>put everything back as I found it
>sit outside his room waiting for the screams.
>masturbate to the sound of my son's asshole burning.

wut

Ask him why it's not bigger

just dip it in tabasco

Probably try to work in some father_son incest after knowing he's into it. Here's to praying he's verse and has a big dick.

...what

>not knowing your son's dick size

get him to the ER he lost his dick

>find this in son's room
>wish he was more like my wife's son
>sneak off to my cuckshed
>masturbate while fantasizing about Jerome toying my boipussi with my son's dildo

What cancer have I created?
We need Moonman everyone...

when u goin thru your sons dildo collection and he walks in on ya

I'd love to be the chronically disappointed father even after I've already accepted him being gay.

"I just wish I had a son man enough to take a massive cock. But you're just a boy. A boy with a useless asshole."

...

>I just wish I had a son man enough to take a massive cock

For doctors visits and insurance stuff dumbass

Confiscate his sexuality

Moonman moonman can't you see?
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me

...

Did your parents take a ruler and measure your dick for you? Did your doctor measure your dick and then tell your parents? Did you measure your own dick and then tell your doctor or your parents?

If any of those are true for you, you're not most people.

Send him back to Sweden

Tell him that wood is not a safe material for a anal dildo. It is porus and can easily harbor bacteria.

I would then offer to buy him one made of a hygienic material like silicone, glass, metal etc.

>not docking with your dad

Jesus Christ that's fucked
Imagine you hear no screams but in turn u just hear louder moaning and him saying "oh my god it burns so fucking good". That would really be something I'd get my rocks off to

Moonman, Moonman can't you see?
Niggers and spics need to hang from trees.

Get him a better goddamn dildo- christ, it's like he got it at a fucking museum.

It's polished, stained wood. There's a non-porous coating on it.

Dude... That's not what everyone does?

See? It is normal faggit

Beat him with it

Gee, guess I've been schooled.

back to 9reddit you go

Yea that's right. Now you've got some docking to catch up on.

...

Make him use it in front of his friends. Then lock him in a closet and make him beg to come out of the closet.

Ask him why it's not in the dildo box I got him.

I would leave a post it note on it that says, "Son, come see Daddy in his room tonight at 11."

I don't think he'll ever come out of the closet user

Cuz it's not velvet lined

put it back and dont ask kids will be kinds and experiment