>Be me >Friday Night >Tinder girl wants the D >XGoneGiveItToHer.jpg >She gets off at like 11 >Get there at 11:30 >Brought beers and weed cause I'm a gentleman >Her dvd player won't work, she's frustrated and smokes a cig >I get the machine working and get back to chillin >She was sitting on the opposite couch, but comes in and sits near me >I had been making her laugh the whole time, I'm a clown tbh senpai >started carressing her legs cause bitches like that >her arm is around me >oh yeah, she's 26 and I'm 22
Cont?
Evan Richardson
nah, homie, it's my turn. >be me >have tinder for a week >nothing >deletes tinder I suck.
Andrew Garcia
No, do it this way.
>On tinder >>>>
Cooper Cox
Bump
Leo Cooper
Tinder is retarded.
>Matched a somewhat qt 3.14 that cosplays >talked to her for a bit and she seems cool >Asks for my number so we don't have to continue user the Tinder messager >I reply "I don't know you enough to trust you with my number. How would I know you're not actually part of a mob group and plan to cut out my organs?" >She never replies again and I was just being reasonable
David Hill
top kek
Lucas Lewis
>She's had this black cat creeping around the whole time >It's a small apartment with one bedroom and one bathroom Anyway >We're watching Inception, cuddling and sipping beers >Things are going well >Don't really like smokers but I was feeling dirty >Her cat kept jumping on the couch and she would kick him off >about the fifth time she kicks him hard and he runs away >Toby the Cat comes in 3 mins later and puts his front paws on the couch and projectile vomits all over this bitch's right side >She is frozen >Mortified >Other adjectives >I stand up and go to the kitchen and get her a towel to clean up
Jaxson Baker
>She's so embaressed. It's almost sad. >Stifle my laughter as best I can >She changes clothes for like 10 minutes >I am in the kitchen chugging Sierra Nevadas >She comes out of her room and goes to smoke a cigarette >She comes in and then sends out a max text to her friends >Doesn't know what to do >Time passes >She leaves to smoke >Comes in and gets nice and close to me (Different couch from before) >We start making out >She's a weird kisser and she tastes like ass >The nose ring had me hooked tho >I start groping her tits and massaging her pussy through her yoga pants >She lets out small moans and starts reaching for my shirt >My shirt is off, and I remove hers >Place my hand on the back of her head and begin to kiss her harder with more tongue >I play with her boobs a little before I reach for the bra strap. >Comes off easily and I'm in there >Her titties are great, I'm a titty guy >She kinda pauses once her bra is off >Still looks a bit thrown from having her cat blow cheeks >Ask if we should go somewhere else, I.E. her bedroom >She chuckles and agrees to go
Jacob Scott
>Go to the bedroom and undress down to my boxers >I'm kinda horny and this girl has a nice figure >5'2" with a fat ass and big tits >OP she's a fat bitch >But she wasn't. Just super fine, and she knew it >I jump in her bed as she saunters in behind me >Can't wait to tear it up >We make out and eventually get naked >She tells me to hold on and opens her bed-side table >There are a few condoms and I reach for them >She shoo's me away and grabs a glass container >Wtf is that lube or what >Her ass is to me like she is ready for doggystyle >ShitniggaWeReallyOutchea.gif >It's just lotion >She applies some to her hand and starts giving me a handy, while completely naked >Tease me you dirty whore >I eventually move on from biting her neck/tits and start fingering her pussy >one finger, two fingers were hard to fit, can't even think about 3 >I'm down with that girl
Any lurkers?
Nathan Davis
>15 minutes to type this >113 Words >This many words per minute
Ryder Carter
>>get a match >>get excited >>wait about twelve or so hours to message >>no response
>>get a match >>don't get excited >>wait same amount of time to message >>no response
Angel Watson
We're still laying side by side pleasuring each other >I start to move my hand from her pussy to her tits >Thrust against her as she places my dick on her vagina >Then it hits me >That smell >Start to kiss the left side of her neck, as I bring my hand around her back >Sniff Sniff >Yup, that's her pussy >Smelling like a pot of raw fish and Horseradish >UseTheForceLuke.webm >It wont stop me >I have come too far >Her pussy is soaking wet anyway, So I begin to slide it in >The yellow light turned red and I slammed on the brakes >Hol' up baby girl >"Are you clean? Should I wear a condom?" >She says "Yeah, I have like 8 STD's" >Girls trying to be funny >MFW >Uhhhh >She says No I'm clean >I get off her and lay beside her >"You don't need to put out because you think you have to" >She's still visually frustrated with what happened with the cat >I'm laughing on the inside because I just got her naked in like 30 minutes of meeting her >Decide to just wait it out, even tho my fingers smelled like garbage
Nolan Rivera
forgot i made this thread lulz
Isaiah Gutierrez
>She's actually a cool girl, surprisingly >Asks me a lot of questions about life >We get along well >Besides the awful cig breath and rotten pussy smell she's, she's alright >Ask her about her tat on her back >It's from her favorite boom >Tat reads like this: i am i am i am >I am too baby >I'm really touchy and flirtatious in nature >get her laughing and horny and her mind off of Toby >We get under the blankets bc her house was fucking freezing >Starting playing with that sweet and sour pussy again >This time I mount get on top of her >Biting her collarbone and neck as I try to insert this 7 inch cock >Ask again if I should use a condom >She laughs and says, "No asshole I'm good" >Whatever I'm hard as fuck >Slowly try and slide it in >She tells me to go slow and I tease her with only the first two inches >She's wet and I start thrusting for a minute before I slide it all the way in >Girls can't handle when I do this >Her fingernails latch onto my back and start to dig in >I ask her how she likes it >Slowly moving back in forth >All she can muster is a barely audible "Fuck Me" >I take this as an invitation to speed up >Really go to town on this girl >That pussy is tight, would be 10/10 if not for the smell >She orgasms twice and I ask if she wants to go Doggy >We get situated and I start smacking that fat ass and pulling her hair >She's loving it and I am too >Almost about to cum >Accidentally pull out too much and she queefs >Think of it as like a fart bubble but out of a pussy >Dick aborts mission >All I can say is "uhhhh woops" and lay down on the bed
lol There's one more
Brody Wood
>We both lay down and she lies on her back and puts her hands on her head >She lets out a deep breath and is smiling >"So... did I get you off" >She laughs and smiles but still doesn't look at me >I turn my back to her and said, "If you're still worrying about your cat I'm gonna leave" >Big Tits claws at my back and tells me to stop >I love mature women lol >She agrees to forget it and starts asking more questions >I've been killing this date, she said she never does this >She plays with my dick as we try to get this kissing chemistry down, still sucks. >Really wanted a blow job, but this poor girl... Her cat threw up on her and her pussy stank >Start teasing her with my cock and she gets riled up again >Slip it in and really start going hard >She's shrieking this time, she was mostly just scratching and biting me the first time >Pussy is actually really good, did not expect it >Been about 2 or 3 minutes just making this girl explode with pussy juice >Have to yank the blankets off because the smell was getting trapped and I was dying >Tell her I'm going to cum, and she begs me to hold on >MoveBitchGetOutTheWay.mp3 >Pull out and cum all over her tits as she grabs my dick and jacks me off >Top 25 orgasm of all time >Go to bathroom and get a towel >Hopefullly she didn't rub it in her pussy >She lived next to a planned parenthood anyway >That's what I tell my friends >Scrubbed my hands with soap and then washed my dick as best I could. >Got dressed and kinda hung around to make sure she was mentally okay lol >Kissed her goodbye
Probs never gonna hit her up again
Thanks for reading fags
William Russell
OP You're great at writing greentext- user
Asher Wood
>got a match with a girl on tinder >blonde 5ft 4 >slim build and long blonde hair >seems pretty from the 4 pictures, but none of them show her teeth >holdup.jpg >anyways, chat away >seems real nice >agree to meet up at a park >her car is bashed to fuck and looks terrible >and there it was >absolultey awful looking teeth >yellow, out of line, snaggletooths everywhere >godfuckingdamnit.wav >spend the night walking and chatting >share a goodnight kiss >awful kisser too >never msg'd her again
Landon Bailey
You a real nice guy OP. You know that?
Nathaniel Walker
thx fam
Luke Allen
blessedfam1
Bentley Butler
YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING ME best laugh I've had all week m8