Tinder stories, enlighten us anons

Tinder stories, enlighten us anons

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It didn't work out

> download tinder
> get 3 matches after 1 week
> none of them reply to my message
> uninstall

I'll bump. I have several stories.

I talk with the bots too sometimes.

/thread

>Meet Asian chick
>Long story short we set up a time to meet and fuck
>10 minutes into sex I snap my banjo
>Go home with a bloody dick

No. I'm too ugly.

Tomorrow I'll go on a date with a Chinese girl I've dated a few times. We did kiss before, so we'll see what happens. Met her on tinder like 3 weeks ago

fucking this

So Tinder is just for casual sex, as I understand it, or is it more like dating?

Fucked her after meeting her on Tinder

met girl on tinder, was with her for 9 months it was amazing. We broke up for a week or so and she was distraught and went on a coke n alcohol fueled binge and fucked some guy without my knowledge then pleaded for us to get back together so I did, a week later I've got herpes

>be me
>see hottie with modeling pics on tinder
>gotta be fake
>mutual like
>she's not a bot
>we date for 6 months
>tight little body, lots of sex and drugs
>learn she used to have a sugar daddy
>basically a whore
>didn't care, had sex
>she moved away for school
>she wanted to do long distance
>told her to kick rocks

Also, I'm only attracted to Asians. Hard to get matches in tinder but thankfully there is a superlike nowadays. I use it on every Asian girl I see and I'm satisfied with 1 match a week. I'm not desperate so it's easy to meet up after talking for a while

> Had about 90 matches on tinder
> fucked a couple but found one I was happy to be with.
> Still dating her 9 months in.

>told her to kick rocks
LMAO

Great app to be a fuckboy on, not even being sarcastic
4 days on there and got 100+ matches, I know there'd at least be SOMEONE down to fuck no strings attached on there
Tinder draws desperate men as well as desperate women, it's simple logic really

I mean that is a good way to see if someone is a bot I guess

>get tinder
>do some matches
>accidently click "heart" on a fat girl
>she matched with me
>fml
>She writes to me hey whats up user i see we got many similarities
>Sorry grill i didnt mean to push the like button
>she adds me on facebook and writes me messages over messages
>cant accept i dont want to talk to her anymore
>she wants to date
>okletsdothis
>pick her up, we go to a diner
>order some fucking jumbo giga burger
>tell her i forgot my wallet in my car
>drive home without going in and paying
>feelsgoodman

that's fucked up mang

Met a girl on Tindr. We went on a couple dates then started dating. Moved in after 5 months. Been together year and a half. Probably going to propose before the end of the year. She's amazing and I love her.
Plus the sex is great.

I've had 6 dates on tinder and had sex with 3 of them. I'm gonna summarize my experiences:
>the first one was a crazy dutch
>we didnt meet again
>the second girl was boring but good at sex
>dated her for a few months
>dumped her eventually
>the last girl was a 9/10 muslim girl
>became my girlfriend for some months until she had to move to another place
;_;

Kek

...

fucked a 16 yr old from tinder lol. too bad that tinder is blocking all underage.

Got 450 matches, not met up with a single one of them

ya i was talking to a 17 year old, im 23 and she was proubly down to fuck but i pussied out like a fagot. did she get clingy ounce u fucked her, thats what i was afraid of.

ya the gay guys are pretty aggressive on tinder.

Did she move to Syria???

Redoing my profile pic related. Its normie as fuck but thats kinda the point. What do you guys think, is it alright or is it too much? I had a short 2 sentenced flirty bio but idk

Nope. To Morocco.

Happened to me a month or so ago.

>Be me on tinder, new matches nothing great.
>Talk to some 5/10 cause horny
>MFW she's dtf right away
>Meet her, fat but don't care she wants the.jpg
>Drive around cause can't bang her at her friends house.
>Park up and bitch has more bush that Australia
>MFW I still fucked her in the back of my car
>MFW I didn't even nut cause she was too gross

wow kek, u really go all in on the bio, all i do is "23 male 6,4 looking to hang out and do whatever".

Holy shit just kill yourself faggot that is so cringe

Any tip with the pics?

use the piano one as ur main pic, u look fucking majestic.

Dump that second pic and try to get one with you and a grill

I actually liked it, seriously i thought it was cute and kinda funny - 5/10 femanon.

Seriously tho i liked it

Tits or gtfo, cunt

Thanks, will do.

anybody else fucked her?

nope.

Tender Tinder Faggot checking in (figured I should just out myself): I have had like 4 conversations with girls that say that same thing.

Yes, I must be utterly stupid, but I finally got it when the 4th one said the same thing as the other three.

Fuck. Is NOTHING in this world not full of Trolls and Bots??

Back to my fleshlight...

where exactly in morocco

Read it and weep bitch

> Meet girl. I wanted sex
> Get blowjob second date
> wants me to fuck her third date, she's virgin. Pussy too tight, doesn't fit. She let's me stick it in her ass.
> 18 months later still with her. I like her.

Stop looking like a depressed fuck

The north. Why?

What do you guys think?
Pretty sure it's shit, but never thought people actually get to fucking meet people on there.

i think this is hillarious and will def work on the right girls. Only maximum autisms will find this cringy

Yo I go to Morocco almost every summer, I could search her for a couple of thousands TOPKEK

I get it because you're black

I know. My pics suck though I'm actually the opposite to depressed.

Thanks, fuck it ill change it. I got the fucking idea from one of those tinder tips website. Im fucking changing it asap before i lose anymore pussy.

Also pic relafor, some black girl i accidently super liked. Should i go for it?

>be me
>23 male
>in bed
>3 in the morning
>matched with really cute girl pic related only 5 kil away.
>havent jerked off in 5 days
>super fucking honry
>we start chating
>have her pic open in the chat
>grab my dick while talking to her
>start jerking off
>she wants to meet up or hang out
>i cum
>fucking nail the back of my phone with jeez.
>no longer feel attracted to her, or want to meet up.
>throw phone onto pile of clothes on the ground.
>go to bed
>never talked to her gain.

Her cousins are fucking top notch, you may have one of them.

congratulations.

>send smile face
>she sends kirby dance
>finish kirby dance
>annon i bet thats what you look like getting a bj
>yes
>want me to suck you off?
>yes
>but annon im fat
>its ok
>get number
>text her dick pic
>tells me she wants to suck it
>give her my address
>comes over
>gives me amazing bj swallows
>never talk to her again

Actually an island tropical beaner, but black works too, I guess.

Hahahaha get checked for std's cuh

Me and my friend(5'8 160lbs) visited my brother(6'1 270lbs) in murica for a couple of weeks, we're from norway.
My friend helped out as a chef at my brothers restaurant.
>Friend finds a match
>She and her family randomly eat at restaurant
>She asks for the norwegian chef
>My brother shows up
>Friend was back in kitchen without knowing
>She freaked out and left

Removed him on tinder before he got to explain

i just swipe left on everybody, hate all the bimbos my age

want a mommy instead :/

i expected you to say north , i thinking about someone i met similiar but it's morocco , everyone comes and go , can you give a pic

I'm not particularly good looking, I'm chubby and balding, but since I play in bands and dress well, I can trick girls into thinking I'm attractive. I've gotten quite a few lays off it and even a relationship once. All this along with 1500+ matches.

AMA

Basics of the basics of your work.

No

>more bush than australia

I was in the last thread, I'll post my profile if anyone's interested. I slept with 4 girls this week, have a new girl coming over to my place tonight.

dude, i matched with that nikki chick too, lmao.

i never messaged her bc by the time i saw it, she was like 2000 miles away or some shit.

guess she was only here for a vacation, oh well..

Great, idk whether or not you're being honest or if you're fucking with me. Wtf

hahahaha this beta right swiping every fat single mom on tinder. "But they were dimes tho"

youtube.com/watch?v=pJiECZhUdmA

>connect Tinder to Facebook
>all the meme pages show up on your interests
basically the reason I don't use Tinder

Tay Zonday-ass looking muthafucka...

>match girl, I Text her : " can I use your printer ? I really need to"
>end up texting a lot
>turns out she is super crazy
>claims she had an car accident & lost most memories of the past year
> she is 18 by the way, I am 20
> first five minutes we are talking in phone , the tells me about her Ex boyfriend fucking her heavy & she started bleeding for no reason
>allways giggling cute while she does this
> she is anoying the shit out of me , telling me she wants too meet up & shit
>Finally I do

Cont..

Post profile. I'm curious abut the pics you picked.

Ayee not bad fag. How did you do it?

>be me
>found some matches on tinder
>start talking to this one girl but she lives far away
> we like the same movies, animes and music
> we talk every day for a 3 month straight
> finally admit to her that i like her and wanna meet her. But i got rejected
>we stopped talking but kept each other on facebook.
>3 years later
>going to a new school in a city far away
>enter school to meet my new class
>she's in my fucking class
>MFW
>and now we are friends
>never go on tinder kids

>when u pay for tinder plus and always swipe right, fucking kek

Most basic rule ever: swipe right on everything. If you match a fatty and she messages you or something, just delete. I've probably got hundreds of matches that I unmatched cause they were gross. The time it takes to read over someones profile could be better spend just slamming that green heart.

Go through and read the profiles and decide if you're interested after you match, not before.

More like "never be a cucked faggot"

Or

"Never be 12 kids"

By pretending to be a gentleman, my profile is mostly bullshit btw

> Six feet
No wonder you got pussy falling out of your pockets.

Fair enough. The problem is she's flirting with me but has a boyfriend. What do?

>6 feet
I love it. Excellent work senpai.

I'd be 12 kids if I could. I mean 12x the shitposting.

How to teach us senpai

>Dump GF
>Install Tinder
>3 matches in 2 months
>1 response
she is fun, but a bit dork. Also good looking and a bit chubby.

My opening line was
>What is your favorite pokemon
her answer was
>I do not watch pokemon
And I started making fun of her of not having a nice childhood since she didn´t saw pokemon.
I´m 30, she´s 24, 3 dates so far, no kiss... I feel kind of miserable.

I added that part later because I realized how much every girl is obsessed about height. I think I'm actually 5'11 btw, not even sure, it's just 6 feet sounds like a bigger achievement

Thanks. Nice profile I guess.

See, this is genius.

Every fucking girl's profile i see is always riddled with "let's go on an adventure" "I love adventures!" "let's do something outside" "let's travel" or "I just love the outdoors".

Shit's fucking annoying, but I'm sure a lot of chicks would swipe right for that nonsense.

I honestly fucking hate the outdoors, and just don't have the energy to lie about it.

Fuck adventures, where are the chicks who say "let's play video games and eat take out"? that's what I fucking need.

Hey man, tinder plus was great on tour. I'd start in on the next city before we got there. If you can afford it, its a pretty good tool.

>match with 8/10
>ask her if she wants to meet up
>says yes
>stops talking to me

I had a girl send me these messages. I thought she was the one, only for me to find out she was a bot. How unfortunate.

I get tons of first messages, always the same: "hey batman :)"
"I'm so down for sushi! :)"
"Climb any good trees recently?"
My profile just has a lot of hooks to pull in interest

Not all tens, not even close. But once again, you can filter after you've matched, saves way more time.

It also helps that you're attractive; don't forget that part

>be freshly 21 working at bar, tinder while drunk
>match chubby chick because tinder
>talk for a minute before I realize she is practically oozing spaghetti
>alrighto guess i'll pull my pud to this
>sends vids of herself fucking hairbrush
>finally sends still pic with brush in vagoo
>hair still in brush
>finish and never talk to her again


still got them pics if anyone wants em

>She acts super shy & has braces, is like 1,55m tall( fuck u, amerifags) , basicly looks like 16 year old
>thisismyweakness.jpg
>We meet a few times, I fuck her as she really begs me to do it
>big dig diggin in smallz girlz
> She is screaming like hell, cums in less than 5 minutes just because of penetration( never experienced that before)
>this goes well for a few times, than the crazy bitch comes through

Cont

I liked it m8.

Nope