Be me

>be me
>37
>daughter is away for the weekend
>bored and lonely
>feelsbadman.jpg
>start to play with her hamster
>eventually im naked with the hamster in my ass
>dont ask
>hamster died and Im not sure how to explain it when she gets back
>what do Sup Forums?

fuck ur daughter and film it

it ran away

>dont ask
I'm gonna ask.
Why was her hamster in your ass?

Listen to the song FACK by EMINEM.

related

I feel like you skipped a few steps

Just clean the shit and lube off it and tell her it died of natural causes. They have short lifespans anyway and I doubt she will assume it died in your ass.

saw some weird porn a while back and it looked pretty nice.

>be me
>wake up Saturday morning
>sit on toilet & browse b while taking shit
>see thread about 37yo guy who's killed daughters hamster via anal insertion
>realise I'm almost 37
>live on my own
>no gf
>no wife
>no possibility of daughter
>feel lonely
>tfw

yes but OP will still reek of shame

So you saw some weird porn, and in your brilliance, you thought, "hey, my daughter has a hamster! i'll stick it in my asshole! that'll get me off!"

Are you sure you're 37 and not, like, 12?

I think I'd rather be in your situation.

Listen mate, I don;t really want to get into it.

>feel lonely

Have you considered buying a pet? A hamster perhaps?

Kek'd.

This,also just buy her a new hamster..and keep that one in your ass as you fuck her...should be fun to watch

this is a myth, no one actually does this. the hamster would scratch up your insides. OP is full of shit and nothing else. also, it goes without saying, OP is a faggot.

No, this is interesting.
How old is your daughter?
Were you thinking about her when you, uh, played with her hamster?
Did it actually get you off?

...

We do,we want the whole story
Tell us a story daddy,please,pretty please.

you should kill yourself. hamster in ass.
let it be found in autopsy

I've been there bro. Stuck my wife's deodorant up my butt. I guess she smelled it though, because she bought me a vibrator and politely asked me to leave her stuff alone. Shit was awkward.

tell her that u were cleanin its cage and it ran away

Tomorrows headlines will read
"Local man found dead with daughters hamster lodged in rectum

exactly.
people will be disgusted and amazed!

I know,I got erect just thinking about it

well, why don't you think about the fucking trauma your daughter would have you fucking faggot!
holy shit, don't you have hobbys?! don't you play video games or read or build shit?

hope the hamster scratched open your asshole so you'll get fucking hamoroids or whatever. holy shit.

start by posting nudes of either you or your slutty daughter

Or the dead hamster and timestamp

>hamsteroids

This got to be b8. This is sick.

I did think about it,thats what got me hot in the first place, the hamster in her dads anus is just icing on the cake

Are you a faggot or something?

That's really fucking gay. kys

Im laughing more than I should. God you got me, Im crying
>Kek'd

>kys
Fucking cancer.
>>>youtube.com

Bruh

Pics of dead hamster or it didnt happen