I've met a few girls on tinder, last thread died before I could green text my experiences

I've met a few girls on tinder, last thread died before I could green text my experiences.

>matched girl who looks 5/10
>on at me to meet up for drinks
>meet her at train station and walk right past her
>5/10 actually 9/10 irl
>spaghetti.jpg
>go to bar and drink until nerves die down
>go back to hers
>pull out beast
>worst sex ever leads to her breaking down in tears
>turns out she's not long broke up with her ex and was forcing herself to get out and meet new people to help get over him
>tells me she doesn't mind me finishing myself off
>mfw when I'm fapping in complete silence with a sobbing heartbroken girl next to me
>aimed it at her last second and got in the hair
>thatsforwastingmytimebitch.exe
>user I think you should leave now

she unmatched me before I got to the end of the road

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2
>match a legitimate 9.5
>that's it guys I'm in love if she's not a bot
>she's not a bot
>talk intensely for 4 hours or so and she invited me to hers
>get there and this bitch has to be like 20 stone of flubber
>FML
>you don't look much like your pics
>hesaysmanningtheharpoons.exe
>I know user I put on a bit of weight recently
>drank vodka till she was doable
>climbed on top of the beast avoiding the rhinoceros horn as to not lose an eye
>saw my reflection in the mirror
>I stopped immediately
>pulled out
>got dressed and left in such a hurry I didn't even take the rubber off
>could hear her crying through the door as I closed it


I felt dirty for days afterwards

Man, please share more.

>Be me
>have 300 dollar longboard
>meet girl
>girl randomly disappears from my life
>girl steals board
>girl lies about you and tries to spread rumors
>girl talks shit to your friends to turn them against you
>girl throws away board
>run karma.exe
>karma>settings>punishment settings
>"there is no god"
>dad dies

Mfw

interesting

3
>Match a 7/10 qt3.14
>seems really successful, owns a Benz and two properties, job in recruitment in city of London.
>tells me about not long getting her ex out her life
>herewegoagain.png
>go vague on her and we stop talking for a few days
>she calls me and I figured well she must at least be looking a fuck so we meet up
>turns out what she meant by getting her ex out of her life was she brought his share of the house and no longer had to deal with him
>I'm thinking this girl is ok actually
>we fuck and shit was cash
>she goes gym 7days a week and can go all night
>DD bewbs
>start seeing her and things are good
>bring her to meet my friends
>my bro asked if that was femanon that works in recruiting at this place?
>sure is bro
>turns out she broke up with her ex after stabbing him in a face with a champagne glass at a work conference and was put on tag.
>this bitch is crazy
>femanon did you stab your ex?
>her face drops and through gritted teeth she says
"he laughed at me, I won't have people laughing at me"
>there's me, a spec on the distance running away from dis mad bitch.

Got stood up once, never really went back.

I'll share mine
>Match a 6.5/10
>let's do this
>don't have anything to do after all
>go to her place
>More like a chubby 7/10
>We chat a lot, she makes me drink.
>Dat ass is fine
>"Hey user do you want me to show you upstairs?"
>"upstairs" is like a 3m² mezzanine where she sleeps
>we end up kissing, I grab dat ass
>Holy shit it's divine
>boner.exe
>"sorry user I'd prefer it if we don't have sex tonight, I'd like to wait a bit"
>areyoukiddingme.jpg
>we end up rubbing against each other, we do it for hours
>soredick.exe
>can't even sleep
>I look at my dick
>fuckin' hell it's red
>End up grabbing ice cubes wrap them in a bag and leave her place with my dick aching like I fapped using sandpaper.
>cry a bit
>Fuck her she made my dick red, I'm not returning her texts
>End up regretting it since I really wanted to fuck that ass and she was actualy interesting

What the flying fuck dude.

But well, Double D's m8

worth the risk.

when a girl says no it's not, sometimes she has a good reason to not fuck and you need to understand that

Yeah but she wasn't on her period, she wanted to wait because she didn't want to be juste a hookup

4
>match a hotter than hot Romanian girl
>talk a few days through broken English as she's fresh off the boat and still learning the lingo
>meet her in her town which is full of middle class fags
>in pub and this girl can't drink for shit
>tell her to not try and keep up with me cuz I'm a heavy drinker and this girl is like 5'1 and a size 6/8
>she one of these just cuz I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't keep up with you types
>she's drunk as fuck within an hour
>she goes from sweet foreign girl to madness in seconds
>loves me a girl that's a bit of handful I do
>guy spills his drink on her
>fucks knows what happened next but I'm fighting about 4 betas who watched football factory once and think they're hard as fuck
>police turn up
>we'reouttahere.jpg
>end up hiding in some bushes in a park
>she grabs my junk and immediately we start tearing each other's clothes off
>I'm smashing her doggy and she starts puking
>fuck this I'm out
>ran to train station covered in sticks and leaves
>left her to get dressed and find her own way home
>sat on the train and realised she pissed on my jeans

Doesn't matter, had sex

bamp for interest

her dad?

nicee

kek

Top Adolf

...

>Cum in her hair
>"I think you should leave user"
>Unmatches me before I get to end of road

KEK you're a madman OP.

man all the girls I see on tinder are either ugly, feminists or turbosluts, where the fuck are the decent ones?

>mfw when I'm fapping in complete silence with a sobbing girl next to me
fix'd.

Been there, done that. First time was awkward, but with time I have asked if they could cry a bit louder.

Seems like all you anons are euro Fags. Still good stories. Continue

nice one m8

>days before smartphones
>over at friend's rented house in college town
>meet this girl through a friend
>7/10, tall, red hair, nice attitude
>she just broke up with her long-term b/f
>i smell blood in the water
>we get along really well
>both get wasted and take her to my friend's bed
>strip down to underwear
>grind her pussy for 30m and suck on her neck
>bitch's breath in my ear is 100% hormone and 100% wet
>finally tells me "oh god i cant i cant i cant"
>she gets up and puts on her clothes
>for the next week she texts me 3 times a day
>ignore her
>wonder if i had any reasonable chance that night or if it was forever doomed

>misogyny level + .05%

>Long board

Dude if I was her I'd have laid the board down a set of stairs and jumped in the middle of till it broke. She was probably a REAL skater and just wanted to show you that long boarders are worse they bmxers.
>Long board is the wrong board

Is this nigga serious?

bump, more

Fuck OP, I broke up with my girl friend a week ago. Went on tinder and decided to hook up with someone, 7/10 meets me. I spaghetti out and go home

Am I a fag?

Finding relationships the normal way

no just retarded.

how the hell do I do that when I don't have a job and don't leave the house?

Fuk

Yes I'm fucking srs you dumb nigger loving faggot. Long boards and the faggots who ride them are gay as fuck

you need to get a job. who pays for your expenses? god almighty. you can afford to be on Sup Forums but no job? wew lad

Try getting a job and leaving your mom's house then?

5
>matched me a blondie
>cute as balls, except all her pics are with her friends who are also blonde and cute as ball
>she told me which one she was when I drunk dialled her once but didn't wanna tell her I forgot
>met her in a bar with no signal so was waiting for 30 minutes of standing up every time a cute blonde girl walked passed
>eventually cute blondies there
>gives me a big kiss and a hug
>shits going well fam
>we have drinking so and go to a nightclub for dancing after
>we doing tha bump and grind on the dance floor
>diamonds.jpg
>she's grabbing me and talking dirty in my ear about never been with a well hung guy before
>we end up going back to hers
>she lives in a shared house so we go straight to her bedroom
>she puts on a dvd of fucking friends
>we can just cuddle if you don't mind user?
>fuck me pink, I'm gonna have to muster all my game to crack this one tonight
>put the moves on and 30 minutes later and I'm savaging her
>she is loud
>I am loud
>she's talking dirty like a porn star and I'm meeting her halfway
>this girl is amazing
>we finish and share a cigarette together
>it's like 6am now, tell her I better head off and she says she'll call me when she gets up later
>call the cab and go to the front door to wait
>there's a guy mid 40's in the hallway
>mfw when I realised if wasn't a shared house
>not even remotely was it a shared house
>this guy was looking at me with dead eyes as he came to realise before him stood the scumbag who only moments earlier had defiled his daughter screaming at the top of his lungs take every fucking inch of it you slut.
>autism intensifies
>say alright mate
>leave before I'm murdered
>cab couldn't come quick enough

I never heard from blondie again

>afford to be on Sup Forums

Yeah 4chans membership fees are so expensive dude. 10 grand a year? I can barely afford this site my self.

Instead of doing little flips and and tricks for you and 10 photographers to jack off too and let's see how fast you can go down a mountain around hairpins

god shes a pussy

good point, I really should get on that, once job get how should I go about meeting girls that aren't shit?

People take skateboarding in general seriously still? I thought that was for middle school kids trying to be edgy and cool.

...

Way more adrenaline and danger than flipping your board a few times

...

lol

holy shit that mustve been scary

...

>this guy was looking at me with dead eyes as he came to realise before him stood the scumbag who only moments earlier had defiled his daughter screaming at the top of his lungs take every fucking inch of it you slut

Holy fuck I've been in a similar situation haha! Except the chick I fucked was definitely 16 and not old enough to legally drink at a bar.

sounds a bit scary, good on you having a good time though.

...

the secomd text was overkill

...

You'll probably meet some meat at your work. I hook up with hot chicks from my work all the time. That's a good start.

...

...

This you and blondie?

Let's see you ride that schlong board off a 20+ stairset while it's flipping. Anyone can ride a board down a hill faggot.

Get a job, get a car, get a hobby, and get some friends. Then you'll meet girls, I promise. Half the population is girls. If you socialize, you will meet them. I promise.

What I try to tell younger guys is this: become a person you would be proud to know and then people will want to be around you. High morals (doesn't mean be a white-knight or a doormat), skills, money, adventurous. Then you'll be a commodity in demand. The other way to get girls is to be a real piece of shit. A lot of them like that. But it's not good for your long-term development.

get a car faggot

alright thanks for the tip, I remember a while back there were these cute Vietnamese twins that I worked with that I probably could have gotten at least one of them, shame I had to quit because the shift manager was a complete cunt that kept complaining about me and making life difficult.

>mfw this is trainspotting ¬¬'

HA! nice reference

+1 Bill Carson & 10 internet points

youtube.com/watch?v=Kf4kvrUHR7E

>ALRIGHT MATE

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It's about opportunity costs: all the time you spend on Sup Forums is time you aren't spending making money. So if you're broke and unemployed, you can't afford to spend time on Sup Forums

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isnt Mitchel a guys name?

>shame I had to quit because the shift manager was a complete cunt that kept complaining about me and making life difficult

Dude all managers are cocks. You fell right into his plan and he played you. Smarten up user.

serves you right for being a longboarding faggot

this makes sense, this shithole is a huge timesink.

You tell me big boy?

Oi Cunt, you from Perth aye?

No fkn shit

Of course, and that person in the picture has a penis.

her plan, I think the other reason I had to leave was I needed to get wisdom teeth out and was getting excruciating migraines from them.

go to sleep

...

I'm really not sure, I'm a bit worried now.

Meh, my managers at work are all cock suckers and I take zero percent of their shit. Fuck that. You gotta stick up for yourself man, not let anyone walk over you, especially if it's a "her".

...

"solid 3/10" what lol?

>solid 3/10

Yep

I fucking hope this is true KEK

I couldn't really do anything because my dad worked in administration and I didn't want anything to reflect poorly on him so I just kept working and trying not to garner any attention.

You're 100% right though.

Your wheels couldn't handle it neither could your bearings. One pebble and you'd go flying

I don't use my longboard for commuting, it's just a hobby

Well then don't be an impatient toddler and just wait! If she was rubbing on your dick the first date but wanted to wait then she was DEFINITELY gonna let you hit it next time. You're dumb.

I've never been a manager, but this goes both ways. I've worked with a lot of pieces of shit and had managers who never brought the hammer down. I hate picking up the slack for other people.

I've matched with a girl with a body like this a few days ago and fucked her 3 times yesterday. Today we're having another date. Nice m8, hit that shit up. Girls like this suck amazing dick

6
>match a girl who looked like shakira shakira but with epic big cans
>go on date and shit is awkward as fuck
>she texts me the next day explaining that her job makes it awkward to meet people and she's not been on a date since she split with her partner
>she a policewoman
>I tell her it's all good, let's have drinks instead of coffee next time
>Friday night and we alright
>drinking and dancing was had
>we go back to mine and finally I get to grips with those big fun bags
>she bursts into tears while I'm sucking on them bad boys
>WTF AGAIN?
>same thing as before she's just broken up with her partner way wah wah
>nigga I don't care just let me play with them big ol boobies ygm?
>she dries her eyes and said no more, I've cried enough over that scumbag I'm gonna start living for me
>rockymusic.jpg
>this girl is on a mission to fuck like no woman has done before
>I'm holding on for dear life while this absolute lioness is fucking for peace, justice and Liberty
>we both cum at the same time
>car alarms are ringing in the city night, while dogs are howling at the moon and people have come into the streets to see if anyone else has had their power go out too
>we lay in silence for a while and then she leaves in the morning
>3 days later all is not well with the penis of user
>go down the clap clinic
>got me some antibiotics for clymidea
>doc explains I wouldn't have caught it off shakira as its too short a time for the symptoms to show
>I call her she wont answer
>I text her saying to call me as I been docs
>my phone goes and it's an unknown number
>it's shakira and she asks me what's wrong?
>I tell her I probably gave her something and she needs to get checked out
>turns out she got back with her ex
>turns out she'd already fucked her ex
>turns out her ex is senior police Sargent
>turns out her ex is a fucking woman and shakira shakira was bi all along

Take that Babylon

too fat for me, bruh. i like thick women, but this is just too much lard.

>my current profile bio

Man, i had almost the same story, except i didn't meet her on tinder. She was the sister of a friend, and her sister was having her bf at her place meaning they were gonna fuck so, i leave with her and we go to my place. She proposes we sleep together, and i feel like she means more than just sleeping.
horny.jpeg
We enter my place, i put on some sexy music, after a bit we land on my bed. 2 minutes and we start making out, she's touching my dick, it's getting hard and right then she starts to cry.
Blueballs.gif
Thought i was gonna get sucked by my friend's sister damn! But ok, i'm like "what's going on?" and same as you, "meh my ex my ex, sorry i can't do this"...We go to sleep, the mood is ruined, i can't even fap anymore.
Next morning, i wake up first, make coffee, try to make conversation, she doesn't want coffee, she's like staring at me as if she was thinking "how could i ever think of fucking you" but then, tells me "hey...it's ok, move on".
I'm thinking like "well you...move on first, bitch and stop staring"
more awkward silences. She leaves quickly after.

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so where did you get the std

good shit mate

fetal alcohol syndrome?

But she a cute user. Do it!

Got any good matches with that?

In mine it just says
>Funny and spontaneous. Everything else you need to find out for yourself

*tips*

her face looks cute ill give you that. i guess if i was drunk enough

What an absolute fucking hamface
1/10 made me reply