Waifu claiming thread

Waifu claiming thread.
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>This is not Sup Forums, this is /mai/
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>Unless the insults involve old men and money
>3D is almost always trash
>Down with democracy
>Most importantly, have fun!

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Shiro claimed.

Hello

Angry Claim!
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>Akibro

>Story time?
I could greentext it but nothing much happened, just got into a fight, threw up a fucking lot and went home
I'd rather get drunk alone, with really good friends or with you guys too
>read french in your post
I am proud
Pour la République :^)

>Tohsaka

uh-oh

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Claimed

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welcome back everyone

except you jerk-chen

No, it's not. I'm pretty sure it's not

>I'd suck your dick, girl

The Maximum FUCK is not just one middle finger... it's THE Middle Finger

nah, that's a common misconception actually. You don't even go so far as to actually buy a rope just for this.

Not only you my friend
FUCK THEM

>How do I deal with being trans
I only dress up as a girl for conventions and stuff like that.
I keep my body shaved etc.

I haven't transitioned, free healthcare doesn't help me, so I'm going to private healtcare. Just got a job and then I'll pay my own counseling.

but it's still french!
Also I don't gamble

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Best type moon claimed.

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Is Kyouko still around?

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Thanks!

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Still here
Just kidding
~

I, Brother-Sergeant Kollon, of the Imperial Fists have been attached to the Angry Marine Chapter. In my first week training with our brothers, I had the privilege, of sorts, to encounter none other than their chapter's Reclusiarch, Mofo. After completing the morning firing rites alongside the Angry Marines, I made for the closest lavatory to relieve myself before battle practice began. The firing rites, as dictated by the Codex Astartes, involve squads honing their skills with ranged weaponry. While my fellow Astartes of the Imperial Fists attained perfect accuracy and precision with our bolters and sniper rifles, our less restrained Battle-Brothers spent most of the time missing their targets with the few bolters they had on hand. After expending his ammunition, each marine would charge down the firing lane to smash the pristine target with his bolter, his hands, and anything else within reach. We began to suspect that this non-codex treatment of ranged weaponry was the cause of the shortage of bolters in the Angry Marines' armory aboard the Litany of Litany's Litany.

I had deactivated and removed the appropriate sections of my power-armor, noticing the raised dais in the center of the lavatory chamber about which all the commodes faced. Many print copies of the legendary Codex Astartes lay upon this dais, and I found it odd that the Angry Marines would partake in the custom of reading while relieving oneself like so many of the Imperium's cultures do. I had just sat down upon one of the commodes along the bulkhead when Reclusiarch Mofo entered the chamber.

>cont~

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He wore his full set of armor, not even having removed his helm. He is larger than the average Space Marine, and carried his signature Crozius, Fag-Basher. It is platinum, and shaped like a great fist holding an Imperial Aquila token with the middle finger extended.

The Reclusiarch tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment of my presence and sat himself down upon a commode near the one I was seated upon. I quickly expelled the contents of my bowel, and experienced another tortured minute while the Reclusiarch violently did the same with much loud swearing and oath making. It was then that I realized that the commodes in this lavatory did not have a bidet function like most toilets of the modern Imperium. I had just turned to ask the Reclusiarch how his Chapter went about cleansing themselves when I saw him reach out to one of the copies of the Codex Astartes. He opened it, and Emperor preserve us all, ripped a page from it, and began cleaning his backside! I cried out,
cont

>I'd rather get drunk alone, with really good friends or with you guys too
I'm honored. Getting smashed on your own tempo is much more relaxing for me
>French
est maintenant, quand nous abandonnons

You literally just did

>Megumin claim

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Cont!

"This...THIS IS HERESY!!"

The Reclusiarch became a blur, a lightning strike of motion. Instantly his crozius was alight in his hand, its power field sending blue energy flicking out from its surface. "HERESY!!! WHERE!!?? WHERE IS THERE HERESY, YOU FISTFUCK ARSE-STRUMMER!!??," he shouted at max vox amp. He stood there, his head rapidly scanning the entire room for any sign of heresy, with the soiled page of Guilliman's life's work still wedged in his backside. It was the most astonishing sight I have ever seen in my centuries of service, and before my gen-enhanced senses could even register it, he had planted Fag-Basher in the bulkhead just centimeters from my head. "DON'T FUCKIN' STARTLE ME LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING CUNTBREATHED, PISS-ENCRUSTED, ARSEWART!!!!!!" he roared right in my face. Mofo then turned back to his toilet, and angrily finished cleaning himself with the torn codex page. He closed his armor, and ripped Fag-Basher back out of the wall causing me to duck. As he walked through the portal to the lavatory, he turned and shouted, "BATTLE PRACTICE STARTS IN THREE MINUTES FUCKFACE, SO BREAK IT OFF AND GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!!! IF YOU'RE LATE, I'M GONNA REPLACE ALL OF THIS TOILET PAPER," as he gestured to the copies of the Codex Astartes "WITH YOUR HANDS!!!"

He then stormed down the hallway, leaving me stunned on the toilet. I looked at the copies of the Codex Astartes, a holy work written by the Emperor's own loyal son and the basis for everything I have lived my long life for as a Space Marine. I had the choice of defacing the codex, or undergoing the foulest penance I had ever been threatened with. This was only the first week of a decades long deployment with this Chapter!! Had the Emperor abandoned me?

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azusa

>claiming yume

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oh, it's the one were they use their bible as shit tickets ahaha
they are truly some magnificent madman

Does anybody have the waifu discord
>Megumin

hello

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Never thought I'd see Ui...

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np

yeah! But not with money or life!

greetings

I'm home!

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...no?

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Which one? there's like 13 of them

>not betting with your life
You don't know how to live man

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You noticed, she isn't a common claim but I do come by and post her now and then since I'm not a regular

Idk mang
Anyone i guess
>megu

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Yes.

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That's why I recommended getting it in advance.

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welcome home Fran

Obviously I don't, I mean look at me
>on Sup Forums
>on /waifu/
>claiming genocidal maniac

nice trips... they... confirm... dammit

Thanks Chara~

Were you~?

Yeah true, I hate trying to follow others when drinking
>unless it's a drinking game
I had to google translate that French into English just to understand kek

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Nice to see a Ui claimer.

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Yes~

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Maybe~ :^)

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I'll be here the whole day, we'll talk when I get home.
Just wanted to wish you a relaxing day.

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Time to take a shower, I need one

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You got a battlenet tag?

kek
this is when we give up

Yea the drinking games are fun as hell
Following people is pretty dumb anyway. I usually watch the drunk people and then get myself equally smashed after

I want to love you :(

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Well thank you.

I wish the same to you.

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Nope
>megu

nice to be a Ui claimer
she isn't around as often as others but she does get posted now and again

I haven't finished renaming all of the images either

You know who I am?
>Prove it!

Fran is getting wet.
Have fun

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I'm having my traffic code exam Friday in the morning, time to learn everything in 4 days.

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