/brit/

Tory edition

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He did NOTHING wrong

need a peng ting

evidence is for cucks

>south africa and rhodesia are now utter shitholes and if you're white you'd get shot/raped/murdered if you went there

ah yes

>a-asking for a friend

fuck off you little tattoo gimp

*picks you up in a tissue and flushes you down the toilet*

Fairplay lads my arse is proper sexy.

It's big, round, smooth (clean shaved) but also firm to touch. My arsehole is clean and slick too, if I were a gay I'd want to fuck my arse.

Shame I'm not into that because I quite like the idea of whoring myself out.

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly, regulated by the US department of energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility.

After that, I turned the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food which has been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.

At the appropriate time as kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved car and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the departmental of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, I drive back to my house which has not been burned down thanks to to the state and local building codes and the fire marshal's inspection, and it has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log onto the internet, which was developed by the US department of defence, and post on the free public access website Sup Forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

christmas day?

what better time than now to argue about politics on the 'chon

sent from my iphone ;)

screaming

>Sherlock Holmes and doctor Watson are flying on an air balloon. Zhirinovsky appeared near them on another air balloon.
>Holmes speaks:
>- A call:
>- Hallo, you sell a poodle?
>- Yes...
>- Well, I call you to find out, nahuy sell?

don't i was joking

...

american jews literally do this

Insult karen again and i'll knock your fuckin lights out twat

happy Hanukkah lads

need a bf

she is the worst waifu

kek

outrageously good post

Political stance :

Small conservative mega-right government for their social benefit and my company.
Large progressive mega-left government for my social benefit and their companies.

Would you kindly guide me which party should I vote in

I hate the NHS though I'd riot if I had to pay

>that
>peng

insanely good post

Karen is alright but her posters are boring cunts and shit tier animeposters who add nothing of value to the thread.

Business idea: fix the NHS and receive a knighthood

>anime

could you not?

I'm more annoyed that the left has become racist against whites which means that no white person could vote leftist unless they are a cuck

good post but slapping you with a hefty FOY


I understand the post was a scathing critique of American stupidity but I can't allow for leniency

I know, that's why I posted the picture of the scheming israelite

>Queen's Speech comes on radio
>Uncle David gets up and turns it off
>says "not going to me listening to this Monarchist drivel. Can't wait until the old hag dies and we overthrow the monarchy"
>Nan is visibly fuming
>"ONE FUCKING DAY DAVID" she screams. "ALL I ASK FOR IS ONE FUCKING DAY WHERE YOU DON'T TRY TO SHOVE POLITICS DOWN OUR FUCKING THROATS"
>David responds with "Well she made it political by coming on the radio"
>nan says "NO. I DON'T CARE. SHE'S DONE MORE THAN YOU EVER HAVE. You're 29, still live with me and your dad, and the last time you had a fucking job was when you were 18. If you want to talk politics, you can leave my house for good"
>Uncle David goes back to his room and we haven't seen him since

post britpopkino

youtube.com/watch?v=7miErQzz4Y8

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

ok

*does a post*

>remember when the US govt sprayed its own people (well, californians) with bacteria without telling them to study pandemics?
>remember when it injected its own people with syphilis without telling them and purposely didn't cure them to study the effects?
>remember when they abducted random people into their mind control program and forced them to listen to pre-recorded messages 20 hours a day while being forced fed LSD for 12+ weeks straight?
>remember when they purposely installed an ultra communist cuban dictator who strongly advocated nuclear war with the USA?

cheers US govt

So you're a yank twat?

Eating my christmas pudding with brandy sauce now

yum yum

*isn't overly impressed*

>uncle
>29

when are we going to get to see her having a wee?

Did Uncle Dave ever touch you in your special place?

REPUBLIKEKS BTFO BY OLD LADY

>Loathsome Johnny Afghan, Salt of the Earth

What did he mean by this?

bye

Business idea: Invent a tablet so that when people have the shits, they take a tablet and it completely empties their entire body of poo within two minutes so that whilst they still have the shits, there's nothing left inside and they won't need to go to the toilet.

kinda wish the gov't would abduct me for weird experiments so at least my life would have a purpose but i'd imagine it'd be a pretty miserable experience

Nan deserves her brandy lad

uncles can be any age you dopey fucking cunt

uncles can be younger than their nephews in some cases

you killing yourself mate

do people actually listen to the queens speech

facebook idea: like people's likes

Britain. I'm disappointed by you.

...

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock, powered by energy generated by Centrica and manufactured by the Sony Corporation.

I then took a shower in my house constructed by Barratt Developments, sold to me by a Purple Bricks real estate agent, and mortgaged by Santander.

After that, I turned on my Panasonic television which I purchased with a Santander to British Sky Broadcasting to see what their team of hired meteorologists forecasted the weather to be using their weather radar system.

While watching this, I ate my breakfast of eggs and bacon, both produced by a local farm and sold to me by my local shop, and took my medication manufactured by Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline, Astra-Zeneca, and Novartis.

When my Amstrad-manufactured Satellite Box showed the appropriate time, I got into my Toyota-manufactured Prius vehicle and set out to my graphic design workplace and stopped to purchase some gasoline refined by the Royal Dutch Shell company, using my debit card issued to me by Santander. On the way to my workplace, I dropped off a package at the local Royal Mail store for delivery, and dropped my children off at a local private school.

Then, after spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the company-mandated standards enforced at my workplace, I drive back to my house which had not burned down in my absence because of the high manufacturing quality of the products inside and of the company which built my house, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the alarm services provided by ADT Home Security. I was able to rest easy knowing that even had this happened, I would have an Axa insurance policy which would cover any damage to my home and anything that was stolen.

I then logged onto the internet, financed and ran in part by various different private corporations such as Google, Comcast, AT&T, and Verizon, and posted on the ‘chon about how capitalism is the source of all evil in the world.

come to kings norton and say that to my face you commie bastard

mate I posted this earlier on please don't steal my content xxx

fingers crossed

you could call them laxatives

no, going to sit in close proximity to the family for an hour or two and occasionally look at them

thought the queen had a cold

or in her case, a old

good luck xxxoxxoxox

>graphic designer living in a barratt newbuild

shambles of a post, all over the shop

>yank """""humour"""""

Pay for the tickets, right-wing scum.

I'm disappointed in us too

gonna do a small key of coke in the toilets lads

all i want for christmas is a mallet to the nether regions

>spending £2 a minute to speak to a babestation tart on christmas day while pretending she is my xmas gf

business idea: privatise healthcare and pay more for a sub-par service just so some already mega-rich people can increase their wealth

good banter

...

nahh 'llow that, also 'llow the horrendously inefficient 5 gazillion-tiered management structure of the nhs
need the french system desu

Hmm

Do you guys get an earthquake frequently?

reckon I might have had a bit too much to eat lads, feel as stuffed as a christmas turkey ahaha

None of this entails socialism, this is all regulations
The closest it comes is the public power monopoly, but again that is just managed capitalism as natural monopolies are inefficient.

Once in a while

hate english cunts that say shit like "peng" and expect me to understand what the fuck it is they are on about

>light breakfast
>early dinner
>stomach has been settled for a while now ready for sweeties & other crimbo treats
ah yes

...

Only time the earth quakes here is when your mum starts walking about.

reckon your mum might have had a bit too much to eat lads, she feels as stuffed as she did last night when she was with me ahaha

London doesn't really count as 'english' any more. Just ignore them

>kings norton
oh my days blud
link me in digbeth now

It's all inner city cunts
For most of my life I've lived in a town of 40,000 and never hear "peng" "lit" or "senpai" anywhere besides the internet

>at my uncles house for christmas
>sitting on the bed in their spare room playing halo 2 about 30 minutes ago
>auntie who's trendy and into all that starts showing me up on it
>everyone else is asleep downstairs
>when i have a go again she starts rubbing my leg up and down, close to my crotch but never touching it
>didn't say anything
>she smiled then went downstairs after about 5 minutes

Lads
Did I just blow the chance to lose my virginity? To my auntie of all people, she is fit though.

It's that pathetic London urban street talk spoken by literal window-licking retards.

Keep London shit in London.

waheyyyyy

waheyyyyyy

reckon I'll feed you some christmas dinners until you're nice and fat so I can rub your stomach and put my meaty cock inside your little arsehole until you need to shit

Critical.

strawpoll.me/11954461
strawpoll.me/11954461
strawpoll.me/11954461
strawpoll.me/11954461

>5 votes yes

fucking hell lads................

How can British squirrels even compete

any spare reasons to live going?

NEED death
NEED the pain to stop

and in my suicide note I'm letting the world know that the weedman is to blame

abnormies/poofs btfo

normie general status confirmed

What the actual fuck, I'm surrounded by normies.

Abnormies get fucked haha.

there's nothing normie about having sex

take it as encouragement to join our ranks lad

it's really not that hard