/brit/

>de gay edition

karen

bed time lads

yorkshire is such a fucking meme identity

...

>if I grow a beard it looks like de Gea's

got drunk
fell asleep for an hour
now im awake still pissed with a hangover

just tried re-watching the sex tape me and the ex made but it was a bit too post-apocalyptic for my liking

i often stare at images of truly handsome men and wish i was them so i could have sex with women

harry redknapp

sheed

who here /team moose/ ?

>getting laid is easy tho

FONT
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great post

nn x

>size of texas: 268,597 mi2
>population of texas: 26.96 million

>size of great britain: 94,058 mi2
>population of the UK: 64.1 million

...

i often stare at images of truly handsome men and wish i was a woman so i could have sex with them

soonish
need to clean teethies and take clothies off

HOWLING

>its a Dr Who episode where the girl has a black/paki bf

it is though

Yorkshire? Wheres that? Oh right you mean "Greater Wakefield"

bit gay

whats your primary motivation in life lads?

for me its unironically the upcoming class war

England is almost exactly the size of Alabama

I do this too, I self insert as the girl in porn too

great post

race war

...

gonna go on reddit and post some erotica bye ye talentless cunts and hoppe you have a gf by next xmas

i used to do that but then i had sex with a man and it wasn't that good 2bh

well hurry up. will kick off big time if you're still here in 5 minutes.

to maximise my comfy lifestyle

Hi rio do u want picking up in the morning pal

i could kill all of you by typing one thing into my command prompt

me?
taking it easy

owning a zr1 or some other tidy sports car that i can drive down the motorway at 200mph in and 'cide with

The great beta uprising.

Filthy normies are going to get it.

does the UK have dunkin donuts

they have good coffee desu

don't have one

are you depressed?

>I self insert as the girl in porn too

You're basically gay.

>be me
>discover porn
>cant watch anything with a dick in it
>start watching sex not lesbian porn
>start watching blowjob porn
>start watching HD POV blowjob porn
>start self inserting as the girl
>imagine how fun it would be she looks like she's having a blast
>this all happened within 2 or 3 years of starting to watch porn and it turned me full blown gay and now im a little cumslut femboy

Think porn is a jewish plant tbqh.

>tfw found out the so called parents are having a boxing day party
>tfw last year I got caught here and ended up having to entertain lazy people's kids while the parents got drunk then got volunteered to drive them home
>tfw all my m8s are busy today

hmmmmmm wtf do I do lads

this picture just made me realize i want to become a dentist


thank you so much user, youve inspired me

@piersmorgan by the way i know how to spell arsenal. But arseanal sounds better.

Its jaw surgery you melt

probably

don't care enough to go to my GP and get diagnosed

What's wrong with based De Gea, you damn britbongs?

Happy Boxing Day lads. How's it foing?

I have bad news for you

I went through that phase too, that's all it is. A phase.

I'd still shag a bird though, I haven't turned into a little sissyboi

Thats the same guy?

...

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your dick out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to nut on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

it's not for everyone but its pretty great personally

it's a spee meme

everyone loves de gea

yes that's the point of the photo

done x

still gonna post here until i pass out though

>mfw figured out i was gay at 17
>mfw that was 4 years ago now
>in a relationship for 2 years
>wear a collar and girls clothes around the house and exclusive call my bf daddy when we're alone

Doubful

the first few times it was good 2bh, but then i got an anal fissure when he was fucking me and it was the worst thing ever for the next month

never done it again 2bh, put me right off

no idea how poofs can have an anal fissure and then go back to anal sex

I'd shag a bird too if I get the chance

How was christmas mr seax

he nicks donuts from tesco

umm... pictures? x

sitting round waiting to die and go to hell

no rush to get there even though my life is a bit shit

>watching britcops
>cops come across some guy living in a dinghy on the thames
>he sleeps with a screwdriver under his pillow
>this is apparently illegal

lolwut? the fuck kind of sense does that even make?

WOW

just a little bit gay

THERE'S A CLUB IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO

YOU COULD MEET SOMEBODY WHO REALLY LOVES YOU

SO YOU GO, AND YOU STAND ON YOUR OWN

AND YOU LEAVE ON YOUR OWN, AND YOU GO HOME AND CRY AND YOU WANT TO DIE

I used to do all of that including the cross dressing but not for two years, was like 9 months then I realised I wasn't gay.

Glad I never told my parents 2bh.

was alri
just sat around whilst the senpai watched shite tv
the usual innit

now i've gotta suffer until new years eve with them

super gay

sad state of affairs

my penis is currently very very hard and by my reckoning a female would have a nice time bouncing around on top of it

cute

swear i'm not gay but when i'm drunk i really want to have sex with a man idk why though

WHEN YOU SAY "ITS" GONNA HAPPEN NOW

WELL, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN?

YOU SEE I'VE ALREADY WAITED TOO LONG

AND ALL MY IS GONE

I am actually studying dentistry, want to become a maxillofacial surgeon

Pic related unironically inspired me

George Michaels dead lads

love the smiths

A gaze into the human psyche

Nice same haha wasn't my family hahahaha fucking senile retads hahahhahahahhahahahahhhhhhaaha
Merry christmas

>show black men with white women on tv as these happy ultra caring relationships
>irl my cousin in law got knocked up by a black who left a year latter and ended up with life in prison for robbery/murder

gets me thinking

*nods his head in agreement*

>by my reckoning a female would have a nice time bouncing around on top of it
*checks your working and answer*

oh dear...looks like you made a big mistake....

GEORGE MICHAEL IS DEAD

George Michael passed away lads

Fucks sake

IDK user I'm pretty happy. We have a good life and you'd never peg me for a faggot outside the bedroom. Just a normal young guy who drinks too much and works too little.

I want to wear girls clothes and get fucked in the arse but I'm scared.

post legs

bloody hell

do you guys need the medical degree as well as dentistry to do maxfacs? that's what you need to do here so everyone is old af getting into it haha

He's an electrician

had a feeling a big celebrity was going to die today desu

post slags

finding the truth by taking psychedelic drugs

hoho merry christmas to you too