/brit/

boxing day bants edition

essex

*bets on your demise in 2017*

having a wank, recc some degenerate porn

plymouth is actually an alright place

made eggs benny for brekkie

great post

flawless in fact

The poster underneath me is a nonce.

wanker
tosser

Imagine actually being a janner hahahaha

nonce

howling

My life is so empty that I reminisce about times when a girl touched my hands.

Canadians are cute

all me

>Southend 3 - 0 Wimbledon

the boys in blue are un bloody stoppable

Nonce.

never shagged a lass

CANT HEAR YOU FROM DOWN THERE LADS AHA

>tfw 6'4 and built like a brick shithouse

if everyone on /brit/ was put in a steel cage and forced to fight to the death I would easily be the last man standing, genuinely

i sit here sometimes looking at the smart arse posts you little students and neets make and just chuckle to myself because if you ever said anything like that to my face (as if you would dare) you could literally be eating pavement in under a second

think on

>being under 2 metres in height
cringing

no wonder you're all virgins

*orders a blockade on all British ports*

Shit thread again

Back to facebook you fucking boring shitters

...

Bet in a 1v1 are Miliband could deck Dave

nice picture, mind if I save it?

*enters thread in horrifyingly undersized red power ranger outfit and starts doing weird kung-fu moves*

have your lawyers contact mine and I'm sure we can come to an agreement

*calls 999*

Just weighed myself and im down from 17 stone to 15 stone in the last 6 months, hopefully will be 13 stone by summer

shan't be going through that effort, saved it anyway x

bit gay this

*enters the afterlife*
very comfy

...

save me a spot la haha

Big Dave is literally a tank but Ed can be real nasty in a fight. Would be an interesting watch

think i left my child in a pub earlier lads

real units, ta

umm not really sweetie? wow, like, insecure much? lol

nonce

haven't been able to stop eating since i came back home

might quit Sup Forums just for January to see if doing so has any actual impact on my life or (as I suspect) changes absolutely nothing

getting my daily dose of xsjado, valobrand, remz, usd, razors and seba lads

108kg, 95kg and 82.5kg all at 5'10 (178cm)

what do you plan on doing instead

Sometimes the girl in uni wants to tell me something privately so she'll type it into my phone but I don't let anyone use my phone, so I hold it and she holds my hands while she types. Her hands are soft and warm.

aahahahahahahahah

HEY LADS
AHAHAHA

WAHEY WAHEY
AHAHAH LADS

WHATS UP?
HAHAHA

*walks into wall*
AHAHAHAH SHIT WHATS THAT DOING THERE
WAHEY!

done like a year before and it didn't help the damage was done

London is the only good part of the uk

Think you mean Yorkshire mate

LITERALLY an oompa loompa hahahahaha

This desu, at my house I don't normally have crisps or sweets or general snacks in because I end up eating far too many so when I visit the rents I always eat like a madman

you lads have a funny way of spelling "the south west"

didn't think you'd take me seriously kek

top job though m8 keep going

dunno. guess I'll have to wing it and see how it goes

When my 17 year old sister died from anorexia complications last year, my first reaction wasn't tears, I got hungry because her death gave me an empty feeling inside. I literally ran straight to the kitchen and threw 2kg of chicken into a wok with about 1/2 a bottle of oiland started frying it whilst my parents cried on the stairs. when they came into the kitchen and saw me with the chicken on 2 plates, drizzling honey over it they got fucking enraged and accused me of 'only ever thinking about food'. I wasn't. I couldn't even taste the food. It was just my way of dealing with it - I've gained 3 stone since she died (from 12 stone to 15) because I want to 'gain' her weight (she was 6 stone). When I reach 18 stone I am planning on becoming a cross dresser and wearing her child size clothes on the lower half of my body so I can have a sister again.

same
those bastards are making me fat

*whispers to the /brit/ poster underneath me*

Bloody Pisshead Paul.

He's going to ask someone for a couple quid just watch.

...

good luck laddo

FUCK LADS

anyone got a spare fiver?

NEED TO SEE MY SON FOR CHRIMBO

BWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

anywhere east or north of bristol should be nuked for the sake of humanity

Paul fuck off mate nobody likes you

In Weston super mare for Chrissy lads having a super mare as well Lol!!!!!! Aha :-P x

How much do you weigh?

some drunk aussie runt just asked me for a fiver lads

spat in his face and ran off haha

prefer not to say

Haven't smoked weed in over a week lads. Starting to think that the BBC is completely unbiased and factual. Also thinking of taking refugees into my home.

87 last time i checked i think

quite fat for a 5'8 manlet like myself

is it worth getting civ 6
or should i just get civ 5
or are the EU series better
not played games in years but these look decent

72kg

need a British bf

pengest munch got me straight back on the slang like this instrumental
big chun

>tfw you will never be swiftly awoken by the hulking mass of pure testosterone and muscle that is Miliband standing above you ready to shove his veiny throbbing uncircumcised cock spattered with pearly papules straight down your throat
>you will never hear him scream out in pleasure as he holds it down forcing your vomit to be directed straight up his urethra
>you will never mistakenly inhale his gelatinous seed forcing you to have it pumped out at the local hospital
fuck me

*grabs you round the neck*
*gives you a noogie*
ahahahah LAD LAD
LADS look at him struggle
AHAHAHAHA
*grabs your beer and skulls it*

ahaha WAHEY
*lifts bottle over my head and empties the few droplets*
POLISHED THAT ONE OFF LADS
WAHEY!

If you've never played any paradox games eu4 is insanely fun for the first few hundred hours desu

thoughts?

Got a nice electric toothbrush for crimbo

fog starting to clear eh? good on ya cus x

Quite enjoying Star Wars Battlefront lads haha, I have never seen a single Star Wars film but hav eplayed loads of games though haha give the films a watch before Uni starts up again rofl but to be honest I have always thought the old ones looks a bit poo with all the bad effects ahah but they're beloved and I do like a lot of the franchises aesthetics roflmao

why are you?

>miliband
>uncircumcised

Got bad news for you goy

>uncircumcised
is he not a jew?

>Miliband
>Uncircumcised

Lad...

>uncircumcised
he's Jewish lad

5 was p. decent and on sale lad. Beyond Earth was a complete joke.

pengest munch? Also known as leftist propaganda

*mumbles some obscenities about pisshead paul and leaves the pub*

da shagged me ma

why am i what

well i fucked that one up, didn't know he was a jew lads

PUT
ASIDE
THE
RHETORIC

Should have sent Tim a Christmas present desu

>uncircumcised

ummm try again sweetie

bought a humidifier for my room

feels a lot better now

stop propagating negative stereotypes against the Irish you racist cunts

*sits around the debating table*

wew lad

kind of sad watching Craig David trying desperately to be 'with it' by dressing like a fucking 15yo all the time

NOW THAT NEGATIVE NANCY'S GONE LADS
WE CAN GET DOWN TO BUSINESS AHAHA

WHERES BLOODY DEANO
HE OWES ME A FEW PINTS