Guys I went full autismo

Guys I went full autismo.

I fucked up. I fucked up BAD.

>Be me
>Be 30 minutes ago
>Everyone is out except me and my cousin who's staying the night because of legal issues
>Start to get horny af
>Forgot to mention my friend who we'll name "K' for now is over passed out in my bed
>He's a super light sleeper and is passed out in my room
>Being the horny fuck I am and not owning a phone I get the brightest idea in the world
>I remember my cousin constantly saying She sleeps without any underwear on.
>Go downstairs and very carefully sneak into the room
>Felt like a fucking eternity of just inching my way to her
>Start to unravel her blanket so I can lift it up
>Fucking no progress after 10 minutes
>She feels something and flips on her stomach after muttering something stupid from her dream I assume
>I freak the fuck out and hit the damn floor.
>After what feels like an hour I get back up
>There's a very loose end on her left.
>I go to unravel it so I can lift it up.
>Progress finally
>I keep thinking to myself "This is fucking wrong, why are you doing this?
>Dick is taking full command of me
>I get it all the way lifted to her thigh
>She fucking wakes up
>"user, I'm trying to sleep"
>Spaghetti flowing out of my pockets at light speed
>"S-S-S-Sorry I couldn't sleep due to my insomnia"
>Shit excuse in hindsight, but everyone in my family knows I do have severe insomnia
>"How is that my problem?" She says
>"Go to sleep user" She elaborates
>I fucking charge it upstairs and start writing this.

How much time do I have and how fucked am I?

I literally cannot stop shaking. I'm so god damn paranoid.

What do Sup Forumsros?

I may be blowing this out of proportion, but I'm scared as fuck right now

lmao fucking creep

Same.

Hope your family isnt rich because you are sure as fuck getting disowned

We're poor as fuck mate.

God dammit my mind is racing right now

How old is your cousin? If underage then prepare to get your life ended

She's 18.

We're both legal just shit man.

I'm paranoid af right now.

My family is all I got apart from 4 equally autistic friends of mine

You must an hero OP it is the only way. But seriously your best bet is to try to see if your friend has any drugs so you can pretend you were high or something like that. Idk man ur pretty fucked. You can maybe try telling her you friend wanted you to get a pussy pic for him? Idk man you REALLY fucked up.

You're fucked, assuming you care about the relationships with your family.
Your only hope is to beg she doesn't tell anyone else. Get ready to grovel, cry, and/or pay her off.

Same guy who posted this here, gonna try to think of some shit. Look for beer cans of you have them, dump me and pass out on the couch surrounded with a bunch. Act like you were drunk when it happened. Just an idea. I'll keep thinking bro, just try to stay cool. Worst case scenario you fuckin disappear

She was probably awake before you thought she was. She knows...

You guys are all fucking stupid. OP stick to your story and say you wanted your fucking bed back because you were tired. It's her fucking problem she was naked in YOUR bed.

Read that first part wrong. Still just stick to your story and say you were having trouble sleeping and wanted something from her (a notebook, a cup of hot cocoa).

Same dude again here. Leave a note saying "was high, I'm so fucking sorry". With money ( maybe). Go drive somewhere else.
But some drugs ( if you already know a dealer). If done right she MIGHT buy it. Will keep coming up with ideas.

I don't think she knows what I was doing.

That and she's known to lie A LOT in the family.

Like she dated both of my friends and her excuse for breaking up with them is "Oh they cheated on me"

And everybody rolled their eyes upon hearing this. So maybe I can play it off as she's lying?
I'm the most liked in my family for helping around whenever possible so that helps I guess.

I can disappear if necessary, I have a friend in Indiana who can help if absolutely necessary.

God dammit this isn't helping

I went into her room mate, I think I said I did anyway.

THIS!

She even told you she sleeps naked!
So where is the Problem. Stand your man and go to Bed ,too!
Its YOURS!
YOUR Territory !

>I want my bed back
>let me roll up your covers from the bottom without waking you up

nothing suspicious here, move along

I can try this.

I'm the last person that everyone expects to do drugs. So this is out.

okay in that case, well fuck it, take her room and scream
>>THIS IS MY TERRITORY NOW, BITCH!

Um so what the fuck were you exactly planning to do you fucking downie?

You seriously seen too many "X IS SLEEPING XX ROLLS SAYS WHAT I DO" threads. Fucking idiot.

Same dude here. If she's been know to lie, then fuck man you might be good. Don't act nervous, don't act like ANYTHING ever happened, tommorow simply act as though you normally would. If she says anything about it say you were trying to get your bed back and you were gonna move her to the couch ( only say this if you made physical contact). Good luck op. And please next time you're horny just watch porn instead of molesting your cousin.

This, seriously. Most people will wake up to stuff like that.

>you have to wait till they're drunk at least

let rolls decide for you what you should do next

Kek. Thanks for trying to help though.

Like I said I want to try to spin it as "She's lying" because everyone already expects her to.
She's lied about some pretty severe stuff in the past for attention such as rape, and another time where she said I taught her how to masturbate when we were younger, which obviously everyone didn't believe.

Shit dude I don't know, I'm sleep deprived as fuck and I was full dick brain mode.

That was my plan from the get go to be honest.

I didn't even touch her at all, I was just trying to sneak a peak because dick brain mode was in full function.

If any of you get's fucking septs I'll an hero. How's that for a "roll for what I do next?"

You've got a friend in Indiana... but you use the word mate... ??

Smelling bullshit.

If they question you, say a kid in [Insert console] said he would give you 200$ to take a pic of cousin with a smile face drawn on her.
Say you were about to draw it.

This story is believable, still embarrasses you, makes family think you value money over family. Makes since since you poor. At least they will think you do stupid shit for money, rather than an incest weirdo to them.

If she's lied about Rape then you're fucking good fam. Just stick to your story and everything will be fine.

It's a mannerism I developed for no reason.

I think you may be reading in a bit to far.

I fucking hope so.

My family isn't stupid. Just poor.

They'll smell bullshit from a mile away if I even try to bring that up

Id tell her coldblooded
"Just wanted to know if the rumors are true and you really sleep naked, you fucking werido"

No fucking way dude. I have insomnia like a mother fucker and I do heroin.

I never fucking sleep yet I am not raping my fucking roommates daughters.

You got issues man.

Like I am not understanding what exactly were you doing. Just trying to peak or what man?

That's fucking weird my dude.

You know there's like dozens of pictures of vaginas on the Internet right? You dumb fuck. At least post a fb pic of her for context.

I was more curious than anything to be honest.

Like I said she makes it a thing to say she sleeps without any underwear.

And
>I do heroin
Well I fucking don't so maybe that's something in the equation?

Regardless I'm sleep deprived and my mind wasn't in the right place.

I'm not posting a picture of her. I'm not that stupid

OP don't do this.

You're obviously retarded so I am trying to stop you ahead of time.

Mother fucker I beat you to it.

Even when I was sober I did not try to molest my family members when the visited.

Worried about you user, you should see a therapist.

Any picture. I just want to know if the future years of awkward family gatherings are worth it. Is she even remotely attractive?

does she at least look good?

She's a 7/10

Not bad looking, but alright looking.

No.

boring thread
stupid op, cant do anything right!

Take some time off here, shits warped your brain clearly

rolling for this. don't even bring it up if it isn't brought up to you first, but if she does, just shrug it off and fake alpha till you make it.

She's awake now.

She's also on the phone

PANIC MODE INITIATE

Do this

keep it cool bro, you'll be alright. act indifferent. toss an insult if you got any. if you act uncool about it, all hope is lost. they will know.

I will.

I'm just trying to relax mate.

I'l try to keep a cool head.
My Mother has confronted me about her shit before because she trusts me.

Let's hope this goes smoothly

Who the fuck doesn't go on their phones as soon as they wake up? You're honestly over reacting fam. Just keep it cool.

I am, I eaves dropped for a good minute.

She isn't bringing up anything about the encounter.

She was talking about some guy from a band?

Either 1.
She has forgotten or doesn't know what I was doing

Or 2.
She's waiting until her dad get's back from work.

I pray to fuck it isn't 2.

Admit ur faggotry, leave ur family and life behind and live happily with hobos

Im sitting on my toilet right now, pooping. It's sorta difficult. Yesterday, i used my double bullet vibrator to masturbate. I put one in my ass. I dropped the other into a dirty white sock then pulled it onto my hand. Proceeded to fap with the sock covered vibrator hand until i shot cum all over my stomach. Then i took a nap. Theres almost always a pile of dirty, cummed on girl socks beside my bed. Now i have to quit typing so i can wipe my ass.

OP, you really REALLY fucked up.

Lmao she didn't scream or shout. Just apologize tomorrow, it's not like she' remember.

You're still a fucking shitty creep, see a psychologist and get a life shithead.

Same.

I know.

It was (Hopefully) a one time thing. Plus sleep depravity + horny = Some weird shit usually.

/thread

Trust me, she probably didn't realize what the fuck you were doing. She was half asleep by the sounds of it. Even so you never actually did anything besides pull on her blanket and fucked with her hair. It's your word against hers.

Mate couldn't you just masturbate or something? No, you had to fuck your cousin, fucks sake. Try to just be honest and apologize. You will be through some hard time, but it will eventually fade off and everything will be okay, depends how she reacts.

+ Some curiosity if she actually did sleep without underwear.

Like I said she kinda' makes it a point to mention that for one reason or another.

I didn't try to fuck her, just tried to sneak a peak.
Either way it's bad, but not as bad as you are making it seem

And it's possible that she didn't realize shit.

That's what it's sounding like.

See post

Yeah, it's possible she didn't realize it, but still if she asks you, try to be honest and try to apologize.

It's not that bad, lmao. You'll be fine, you're worked up over nothing honestly.

But in retrospect shit is kinda weird. Probably take a break from Sup Forums, creepy fuck.

Do this. Don't visit Sup Forums for a while.

Your personality is changed by people you hang out with a lot.

If you can't stop the bad sides of that, don't go here for a while.

Dude, relax. This isn't hat big of a deal. Tell her you we're looking for something. Tv remote, ect. You had it earlier and couldn't find it, and you were looking if it was in there.

For the rest of you, you all are fucking virgin autists with your fucking horrible advice.

TL,DR this shit never happened and you are a gigantic faggot

Your post made me think why am I visiting Sup Forums so much and I'm not even an adult.
>fuck

That's even worse lmao. It's obvious if he panics about this he can't lie for shit either.

He just shouldn't say anything or if she brings anything up just be indifferent and act like you can't remember.

>not even an adult

Enjoy being b&

You wouldn't believe how many times I heard that.

I live in Mississippi and have started saying M8 regularly bcuz intrawebz