Sup Forums IT'S THE TELEVISION EVENT OF THE YEAR! BATTLE OF THE NATIONS 2016
Battle of the Nations starts today. It's basically a real life chivalry where europoor nations dress up in medieval gear and beat the shit out of each other. The politics is hilarious, the fighting is intense, and people usually end up with mashed limbs.
live stream: youtu.be
WHICH SHITTY EUROPOOR COUNTRY DO YOU SIDE WITH?
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
All on Finns.
...
I'd like to battle their nations if you know what I mean.
...
Two women.
Dropped.
Are God's own country in it?
#GWI
This, still basically undefeated.
Yes, and US and AU and NZ for some reason
how the fuck did anyone manage to die in ancient times if they had armour
I stand with stannis
...
Most of them weren't knights I think.
Infection.
>not everyone could afford armor
>armor doesn't always protect the entire body
>weapons were made to pierce armor or for stabbing/cutting at exposed locations.
Russians in BotN are OP please nerf.
RUSSIA STRONK
>the not so historical gaffer tape
HEH
Armor was extremely expensive, most soldiers had to make do with less than what is worn in modern tournaments.
Weapons used in warfare were tailored to penetrate armor. Spikes, daggers, hammers. Whacking each other with swords like in Battle of Nations can score points in the eyes of a judge, but isn't as effective at killing.
Killing wasn't always the point. A couple of peasants might gang up on a knight, grapple or wound him, but keep him alive for ransom.
In general, battles back then weren't incredibly deadly. Forensic evidence of medieval soldiers suggests that the average fighter might accumulate many small wounds in battles spread over years before eventually biting it.
>Argentina
wtf
THE PLAGUE
wow this is so bad.
It should be Europe only tbqh, more immersive. Although if they already do a "Europe only" tournament then it would be ok.
You push the guy on the ground, grapple him, and then stick a dagger into a gap in the armor.
>eurocucks are so backwards they still fight like it's medieval times
>mfw there are still white people in Europe
not even joking, i watched a short vimeo documentary on this the other day
it was about some guy in new jersey hoping to win the regionals, nationals and then the worldwide
his team was knocked out in the first match...
How many damsels does the victor claim at the end?
They all look like men in dresses. Quite fitting for Yuropoor.
I think regular longsword fencing looks better desu, this is just weighed-down tired guys bashing each other over and over again
Damsels are not there to be claimed by some brutish knight, they are there to be respected by their intellectual equals
I'd be surprised if anyone wanted the victor! They'd be much more likely to go for the quiet helpers with obvious wit who were above such juvenile games
:')
go denmark!
>sword and shield
Oh shit
Lol The Mountai is BTFO that manlet
>how the fuck does anyone manage to die these days with bullet proof body armor
Though seriously people died from
>Getting hit in gaps
>Getting hit really hard
>Getting crushed by things
>Drowning
>Scalding
>Getting cooked by the sun, turns out metal gets hot
and most commonly
>Falling off of horses
What didst thou just spake of me, thou dog? Know this, knave, I am the best sword in the fleets of Sir Francis Drake, and I hath partaken in numerous raids ‘pon the ports of Spain and hath carried off over three hundred Doubloons! I am trained in musket warfare and am the best shot in the militias of His Majesty! Thou art nothing to me but another target. I shalt strike thee down with all the furies of the Heavens above and Hells below, of a sort not yet seen on this Earth. Thou thinkest that ye can slander me, naught consequence? Thou art mistaken. For as we speak, I am contacting my spies and friends cross’t the breadth of old England to locate thou, so thou best prepare for mine storm, ye cowardly poltroon. A divine storm that shalt wipe out ye pathetic existence. Thou art but food for mine dogs, for I canst be anwhere at any time, and I canst kill thou in over seven hundred ways with naught but mine sword and buckler. Nay, not only am I extensively trained in the arts of unarmed combat, but I hath also access to the entire arsenals of His Majesty’s militias. I shalt use it to its full extent to wipe thine miserable body of the face of Our Lord’s Earth, ye dog. Alas, if only thou had knownst what unholy retribution thine libels were about to bring down on thee, mayhap thou wouldst have kept silent. But thou did not, and now thou shalt pay the price, ye Godforsaken dogsbody. I shalt shit fury down from the Heavens ‘pon thou, and thou shalt drown in it. Confess, and prepare to meet thine maker, sirrah.
Pretty much this - these are done with knockdown rules, so half of it is just guys blundering into each other.
Still, Russia will win - their team are legit drunken tough as nails loons.
BUT WHERE ARE ALL THE MINORITIES
THIS IS BLATANT RACISM
Met some of the American team at Dragoncon last year - they have some ex NFL players who are huge. The brawls look intense.
Anyway, shouldnt this be in /asp/?
>armor was extremely expensive
Depends on what type of armor it was. fully fitted, personalized plate armor sure.
Non fitted armor, helmets, basic chain mail, not really.
>we will never have these threads on Sup Forums again
>Anyway, shouldnt this be in /asp/?
They should be on Sup Forums. But reddit mods killed the board.
SERBIA STRONK
Do they ever spill blood?
>no peasant waifu to soothe your ills after a hard day in the fields
Broken bones and concussions, but thats about it.
do they do any half-swording?
That armour looks like it might cost a lot.
> hound helmet
[/spoiler] FUCKING CONFIRMED [/spoiler]
All they did was kill off things like the hurricaneb/owl/ threads.
DEX > STR
>all they did was kill the fun
True
>MEXICO IS INCLUDED
Fuck, there aren't enough countries represented.
I vote for Hungary I guess or Poland
Ladies in full plate are the best kind of ladies.
...
Kek
Obvious Argentinian Knight
And car chase threads, deep sea threads, eventbowls, spelling bee threads, the list could go on.
Yeah, I'm glad the board got saved and reduced to the slow as fuck state it is in now. Bravo, mods and reddit.
>half-meming
>a good strategy
UKRAINE GONE BERSERK
I don't really get bucklers
Like, couldn't you just go around
The problem was that at some point, someone decided Sup Forums should take itself seriously. I assume we can blame Moot.
I assume you can move your buckler quicker than the person attacking can redirect their sword. Big shields look like more fun though, saw a fight once where one guy got a great shot on his opponents head with the edge of one of the bigger shields.
POLAND STRONK
fuck
Still better than your chinese cartoons, faget
kek who's that
They should host this at a time when countries that actually matter can watch and not have to read about it on a Cambodian Janitorial Journal during work.
TODAY I WILL REMIND THEM
seems actually pretty strong
They should make a spinoff called Krazy Krusaders where Christian Yuros/Whites fight Muzzie Arabs/Malays
>Australia VS. Argentina
Wtf I thought this was about europeans?
But Aussies and Argies are white, close enough :^)
which country is that
USA MOTHERFUCKER
WE BURGER KNIGHT NOW
Is there going to be a torrent somewhere after? I can't watch this now
leeeel why is Burgerknight one of the Immortals from 300
Its anywhere that wants to join - started off as a mostly Eastern euro thing plus Russia
competition of qts
youtube.com
When are the big fights? I want to see one of these 21 v 21 brawls
Tomorrow is the big battle
lol that picutre
>*teleports behind you*
>heh, sorry heathen >:^)
I wonder if these guys are frustrated they weren't born a few centuries earlier where they could've done the exact same thing but had women gold glory and estates heaped upon them
How can such an awesome concept result in such a dull sport? Is it general incompetence, lack of definable rules or the fact its a bunch of overgrown children who think they are knights? European martila arts are such a fucking joke.
Wait what
What does USA medieval armor look like
>hurrr lets use swords as bludgeoning weapons and hit each other on the armor over and over
This has no relevance to historical martial arts.
This stuff isn't really HEMA
Nice shitpost sempai
My post is completely accurate.
Nice shitpost sempai
...
This is probably more what you're interested in
youtube.com
He's right though
If these guys fought like in real life obviously there would be maiming and fatalities
Well in real life it looked like this
But I guess they couldn't wear it in the competition so they just use European armor
they're allowing the threads to be on Sup Forums btw. doesn't matter now but for tomorrow
Nice shitpost sempai
my negro
>amerifat gets triggered because someone who has actually opened a history book calls them out on how retarded their 'we wuz kngithz' roleplaying dress up game is
>amerifat dressed as a persian immortal with scimitar
>gets BTFO by based potato knight
>tfw you and a thousand other people are watching autism being live streamed