ITT: Times you acted like the Joker

ITT: Times you acted like the Joker

>order mcdonalds

>pay for it

>leave before its ready

HAHAHA HEE HEE HEE HO HO HO

...

I'VE GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS MOTHER

Did your mom freak?

> Poo in pants
> go to friends house
> sit in his new sofa

absolute madman

>Guy leaves his watch in uni class
>Take it
>Turn it back by five minutes
>Give him the watch back
>Now he'll be five minutes late for everything

>Hey kid, wanna buy some magic

Suicide Squad hasn't even been released and it's already out memeing civil war

Will marvel ever make a proper meme movie?

I 'forgot' to resupply my wife's buck with a new box of condoms as I was ordered to ;)

Before you read this: Please don't judge me... I'm just sharing my story because people asked...

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's ****ed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so ****ing beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy **** went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

1/2

>have 3 huge scars on my chest from a car accident
>had a girl at my place a couple months ago
>ask her if she wants to know where I got these scars

>measuring a film's success via the quality and amount of memes created around the film on a Japanese image board

>infiltrate a hospital for lolz
>dress up like a half nurse/half clown rape baby
>nobody notices how brave I am
>blow up the hospital in revenge

>guy asks me for directions
>apologise and say I don't know the area
>he says 'ah, no problem'
>as I walk away a smirk grows, for I do know the area well

>homeless man asks me for change
>say I don't have any
>I actually do

DEVILISH

This morning

I took a shit BEFORE showering

Honestly I want to be stopped someone call the police please I need help

>tfw you're such a marveldrone you have to protect Disney kid films from even a vague hint of being insulted

Guy left his e-mail account open in one of my university library's public computer kiosk.

I proceeded to send incredibly rude and hateful e-mails to a majority of his loved ones before logging out.

For fun.

>walking down the street
>homeless bum asks me for money
> say i dont carry change which is true
>but at that moment i was carrying change

I think you need help if you do it the other way around buddy

i used blue ink on my test paper in high school

Guardians was literally meme reddit desu senpai

Only "dance off" was a meme and it didn't have any staying power

Dana Carvey Show thief

>I don't always finish my greentexts

DAMAGED

DCucks know no boundaries

>friend asks me if I want to see Suicide Squad
>I say yes
>I actually don't

>register as an employer on a website mediating IT jobs
>put out job as junior software engineer with high starting salary
>mailed an applicant and said he had the job if he moved to this city before august
>there is no job

HEEEEEEEEY

SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUP

I'M TRYIN TO GET A SMILEY FACE TATTOOOO

>what is groot
>what is rocket
>what is everything drax says

N E V E R

GotG is reddit tier memeing, so it was played out by the time it even got in theaters. Even Jurassic World gave us longer lasting memes.

>he's still doing it

LOL
O
L

I stabbed a man with a rubber knife

facebook tier answer

>be in army
>squad m8 tells me to cover him
>don't cover him

>be on Sup Forums
>op asks for times i acted like the joker
>dutifully oblige

I think that's doing it right my scheming memeing friend.

no you didn't

>someone asks for the time
>"It's about quarter to six"
>it was 12 minutes to 6

>9fag watermark

Groot tried to be a meme but it didn't work.

>Mom says dinner will be ready in 15 minutes
>sneak into the kitchen and eat a cookie
SOMEONE STOP ME I AM DAMAGED TO THE CORE.

>take 25i
>laugh for 13 hours straight
>laughing at nothing
>crying while laughing
>can't stop laughing
>staring in the mirror laughing
>staring at the ceiling laughing
>make it stop
>HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
>please let me die

Do not take 25i.

>eating dinner with the family
>mom says i cant get down from table until i finish my vegtables
>ew gross am i right lmfao
>i put them in my mouth and pretend to swallow
>proceed to get down and go to the toilet spitting them out and flushing

haha if she found out she would of FREAKED

>playing with pupper
>who's a good boy? who's a good boy?
>don't tell pupper he's a good boy

>guy asked me for directions
>"please hey man I'm new to this area I need to find the hospital"
>sure no prob friend it's a couple blocks that way
>but I told him the wrong direction!

when i put whipped cream on my friends face

AND TICKLED HIS NOSE WITH A FEATHER

YOU CAN GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>no ice cream unless I finish all of my vegetables
>discretely feed them to our dog under the table
>eat ice cream
>mom still doesn't know

What happened? You can't fucking make a post like that and then leave me hanging.

You son of a bitch he probably really needed to be there for someone. How do I even share a board with you animals?

WHERES THE SECOND PART WHERE YOU TWO END UP BANGING REEEEEEEE

HE

FREAKED

>be at a packed bus
>old lady asks if she can have my seat cause her legs hurt
>"no"

:]

I know right! His mom was probably really sick or something that's why I did it LMAO

>annoying guy from my class sits next to me on the train
>make small talk
>"oh here's my stop"
>get off and immediately get back on different carriage just to get away from him
>he saw this and I don't care

I assume that's some sort of degenerate drug you hippie faggots can't properly name.

>obese dog
>obese owner

Gas em both

I used wikipedia as a source on my final Physics paper

I regret it everyday.......NOT!

It's a research chemical. Kinda like synthetic mescaline. It's pretty fun

You absolute madman! You actually got away with that?

I broke the sink in the bathroom, and didn't tell anybody. Wait that's not joker. That's Ricky bobby from walk hard.

One day, after I brushed my teeth, I drank orange juice

... ON PURPOSE

too far

TELL HIM HES A GOOD BOY

One time I ate my roommates take out and left the box in the fridge

kek

>someone asks me if im in line
>say yes even though I wasnt in line
>buy something to seal the deal
Bitch got fooled I was never in line

ABSOLUTE

>Guy asks to me grab the object with both hands
>Only use a single hand

MOMS

>On holiday in New York
>Go to Wall Street
>Yell 'CUT'
>Noone does anything

Fucking monkers

>moving desk with friend
>he tells me to lift with my legs
>lift with my back
HE FREAKED

>Waiter tells me plate is hot
>Grab it anyway

Bought an adult priced bus ticket back when I wasnt old enough


He he he ho ho ho

>go outside and around house to brother window so I can use his WiFi
>knock on his window
>he opens the window and says "what are you doing here"
>I tell him to turn on the news, will Smith was wanted for murder, the police knew he was at the scene because they found fresh prints
>he closes his window and starts telling his Xbox live friends
>I SCREAM "They found fresh prints!"
>he looks out the window visable upset and confused
>" fresh prints" I yelled again
He didn't get it and went on to tell me later that I was thinking of another Will Smith. We was with my grandmother at the time. I told him again that I knew it was THE Will Smith because he left fresh prints. My grandmother got the joke immediately.

I pee in swimming pools >:D

>Leaving McDonalds
>Lady says have a nice day
>I don't

Dentist told me to floss after every meal.
.
.
.
.
....I only do it before I go to sleep

Upvoated

>call someone reddit
>know that he's obviously from Sup Forums

>friend falls asleep in my chair
>put his hand in warm water
>he wakes up and asks what the fuck I'm doing

>measuring a film's success via the quality and amount of memes created around the film on a Japanese image board

Are you implying that any other metric of a films success matters?

madman

Don't bother. He's just a hothead.

i like this

>Buy every ticket to matinée BvS showing
>Sit in theater alone

>go far a long trip in the car
>go to the rest stop
>i say i don't have to go
>i lied, i got a uti

>friend1 puts thumbtack on friend2's chair
>friend2 takes too long to return
>friend1 gets up to see where the fuck friend2 is
>takes the thumbtack and put on friend1's chair
>friend1 returns and sit on the thumbtack and screams

...

>watch the english dub
>go on Sup Forums
>claim you can't tell how good or bad the voice acting is unless it's your native language
HEEHAHAHAHEHEHEHAH

Well duh
This is why I consider Paul Blart better than say 12 years a slave.

I put sugar in Mom's salt shaker.

HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR STEAKS EXTRA SWEET

I stole a Beward of Dog sign and a few days later I was watching Lord of War and they were talking about Jared Leto's character staring at a Beware of Dog sign.

Truly there is only chaos.

I went on an anonymous imageboard once and posted with a tripcode.

And I didn't even post an image.

>report a bomb is inside the mall
>the bomb is actually in the library

I told someone that avatar (the show) was an anime.

WHEN I WAS GOD ONLY CHILD

12 years a slave had Classic Paul Dano and Run Nigger Run though. What does Paul Blart have on that level.