Im gonna tell you a llittle story

Im gonna tell you a llittle story

i used to drink my ass up, take all kind of drugs (Probably i tried all the mainstream drugs except for heroin) and party all the time, this ended when a friend of mine died in front of me of a heart attack for snorting cocaine, i was so broken about this that i didnt even want to go to his funeral, after that everytime i smoke weed (Something that i used to enjoy A LOT and helped me with my deprression) or drink to much i have an anxiety attack, i havent even tried do the other drugs and im pretty sure i will never do cocaine again in my life, the problem is that i still want to take a few drinks with my friends or sometimes smoke weed but now i cant, this is crippling my life because aparrently all my friends drink and smoke for fun, they dont do other shit. No im even more depressed because i cant even smoke or drink anything and i have no one to do other things.


Anything that can help me with this ? Im going to the psychiatrist this week for this kind of shit, i wanna try xanax, anything can help.

Pro tip: im having an anxiety attack right now, i have no one to talk to

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soundcloud.com/rey-drogas/rey-drogas-frozen-corvus-unmastered
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Have you tried to give it a full on break for a while? How long ago did it happen?

Been where you are. I didn't develop panic disorder until I was well into my twenties. If you can get on an SSRI like prozac, wait a few weeks for it to really work, and then start up slow with smoking. Just from one user to another be careful with Benzos, they seem like an easy fix, but holy shit that withdrawal will knock you on your ass.

2 weeks ago, yes, i tried but its pretty hard to me right now to cope with this, im trying but even sober the attacks come

I had a friend that was in NA because he shot up any drug he could get his hands on, after a boil in his vein enlarged and he almost died from it he came back and never wanted to touch drugs again but to get his mind off things meditation was the key because the endorphin's that are released are psychedelic like but mastering your conscious as well.

Thanks for the support, i will talk to the psychiatrist about this, im 23 years old

I will try meditation, but its quite hard to meditate in a panic or anxiety attack, the first thing in my mind is that im having a heart attack, i start sweating, my chest hurting and my hands go numb, this can be sometimes for half an a hour, i appreciate the support.

I'm not gonna say I know what its like, cause I don't, but that shit is still fresh man. You can't expect to go through something like that and just be fine a few weeks later.
Stop doing drugs and shit for a while (meaning like a few months) and focus on processing what you went through. No shame in seeing a psychologist man. Stop partying for a while, just take some time.

Im trying, ive been 4 days sober now but the attacks still come, i have no one to talk to and everytime i just have to stay half an hour scared out of my mind with my eyes closed trying to relax, i will follow your advice and also go to a psychologist, im pretty sure meds will help but talking this with someone will do the full recovery, i dont want to party anymore, i fell that part of me has been lost, thanks for the advice, i really appreciate it.

No problem bro.

Don't turn to drugs/meds to solve your problems though bro, they can hinder as much as they can help. There is a good chance this is something that you can help just by talking about. This has obviously effected you pretty badly, so when you are feeling alright (as in not having an anxiety attack) try and look into yourself and understand what you are scared of. Try to understand why you are having this reaction.

I wish you all the best man, just stay strong.

If you ever consider doing pharmaceuticals just say fuck it and smoke weed

Weed is great, but it can also make some psychological problems a whole lot worse. I'm speaking from experience here.

This would usually do the trick, the last time i smoked (5 days ago) i had a pretty bad panic attack that ended with me in the doctor asking to check my blodd pressure twice because i was sure i was having a heart attack, i used to be a heavy smoker, smoke an ounce everyweek and helped me with my depression A LOT, now i cant even smoke a gram without this fucking shit happening, it piss me off so much.

Weed used to help me a lot before my friend passed away, now it just make everything worst

Pic related: my weed vaporizers.

Weed helped me heaps with my depression, but then it became my go to for feeling better. Then as my depression got worse, I smoked more and more, became even more unmotivated, etc.
Now I realize the only way I am ever going to escape my depression is if I die, so I just suffer and don't bother trying to make myself feel better.

Theres othe ways, even me after this fucked up stuff that im living now that you can ALWAYS live a good live, just that like shitty quote harvey dent said in batman "the night is darkest just before the dawn", just believe in yourself, try to improve, im gonna have to do it now by force because the only thing that made me feel good now make me end up in the doctor thinking im going to die. i have faith that you will better your life

I appreciate that man, but not with me. I have been depressed since I was 12 years old, over a decade now. I'm just ready to go man. Even if I was happy and rich and had a qt grill, I would still rather just be dead. Its just better in my opinion, no chance of suffering.

To tell you the truth me too, my father was a drunk, the most hateful memory i have about him is when he came drunk to the house when i was 7 and threw my playstation to the wall and tried to hit my sister, i didnt left him. and my father had a lot of relpases till my mom had some money and we left the house, my life has been fucked up but you need to learn to appreciate the little things in live, for example now i appreciate having someone to talk to while this shitty anxiety attack passed, i know riches and girls only makes happy shallow persons, i just want to make music, that makes me happy, why dont you try find something that mkaes you happy ? its worth a try

To tell you the truth me too, my father was a drunk, the most hateful memory i have about him is when he came drunk to the house when i was 7 and threw my playstation to the wall and tried to hit my sister, i didnt left him. and my father had a lot of relpases till my mom had some money and we left the house, my life has been fucked up but you need to learn to appreciate the little things in live, for example now i appreciate having someone to talk to while this shitty anxiety attack passed, i know riches and girls only makes happy shallow persons, i just want to make music, that makes me happy, why dont you try find something that mkaes you happy ? its worth a try

Yeah, I know what its like to have shitty parents. My bio dad fucked off before I was born, my step dad was on and off meth for a while. Shits fucked.

I see what you are saying, but I don't have the energy to do stuff that I love, let alone support myself with a job to live a life I can't be fucked living. Really, I just realised everything is fucking pointless, happiness is always followed by suffering at some point, one day everything you ever knew will be dust, one day everyone you ever knew will be dead. I'm pretty content in just jumping to the chase, I'm just scared as fuck to do it. The ironic thing is, what most people would consider to be their moment of most suffering (suicide) would be my happiest.

What type of music do you wanna make btw?

(Kinda just bumping to make sure it doesn't die)

666 the number of the beast lol

Well ive been trying a lot of genres, from psytrance to psychedelic house, i know how to use ableton, rythim machines and synthesis, this is something ive been working if you wanna listen.

soundcloud.com/rey-drogas/rey-drogas-frozen-corvus-unmastered

You can let it die if you want, i feel all better now, thanks for the help, its very hard to get this out without someone to talk to but i took the right choice by trying to talk with someone throught here.

Kek, hail Satan worship doom mother fucker

Thanks, I'll listen to it now

I'm glad you are feeling better man
Talking to people helps heaps, its what I try to do if I feel really depressed. Book an appointment with a psychologist and talk this shit out.

Will do, i really think i need to change my way of life, if you ever feel depressed and need to talk you can contact me from my soundcloud, i used to have a facebook profile but that shit got old. thanks for the pep talk, it changed my nigth from shitty to cool.

Here, some random ass for the trouble lol

Thanks man, I appreciate that (both the ass and offer to talk).

Good luck with everything, I'm glad I could have helped, even if it was just a little.