ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

I got drunk with my wife's sister and fucked her when my wife was at work. I fucking loved it. She's 18. Freshman in college and has a really tight sexy body. Pic related.

I leave my blinds and curtains open enough that my 13yo neighbor can spy my naked wife in shower and watch me fuck her. My wife is oblivious to this

green text, give us details

>18
too old.

I stole the source code of the application of the company i'm working for and sold it for a huge amount of money to our biggest competitors.

youre quite the l337 haxzor

I like fat bitches

Is the guy from last thread here, the guy who had a threesome with his gf and her brother? Was it just the one time or will you guys do it again?

I've sold drugs to 2 of my lecturers.

I tried to fuck my brothers dog once.

greentext

>hanging out with gf and her sister
>day drinking in our backyard
>gf has to leave for work
>works night shift she's a nurse
>after she leaves continue drinking with her sister
>she asks if I wanna watch a movie
>we go inside
>she wants to watch a movie called atonement
>put it on Netflix
>there's a scene where Keira knightley gets fucked against a book case
>were pretty drunk
>she asks me if that scene made me hard
>I said what if it did!?
>she laughs
>gets really close to me on the couch
>feel her hot breath on me
>I'm diamonds
>we make out
>made out for a very long time
>take off her top
>she's really tight
>nice stomach and tits
>she takes off my shirt and starts to undo my pants
>I take off her shorts
>rub her nipples suck them
>rub her pussy over her panties
>she's stroking my cock
>we get naked
>I get on top and put myself inside her
>she moans
>we fuck on the couch
>bend her over the arm rest to take her from behind
>she cums hard three times in a row
>I pull out and cum on her tight stomach and tits
>we get in the shower to clean up
>she jacks me off
>I finger her
>we clean up
>make out more
>I go to bed in my room
>she passed out in the guest room
>gf gets home from her shift the next afternoon
>her sister left already
>asks how the night was
>tell her it was pretty fun just have a hang over
>she never found out
>I never spoke about it with her sister since it happened

I don't like men. But I love penises, giving blowjobs, cum and getting fucked.

I'm a sociopath and nobody cares

i've sold hard drugs to my teachers and got a teacher to suck me off for coke

I have told this story only once before in the last ten years.

I worked at a restaurant for ten years out of highschool during college, both front and back of house. One day while waiting tables, I had a party of about 25 that I was taking care of in the back room. It was a nice old lady's birthday gathering. Nine or so of them ordered side salads which I made and set on a tray in the kitchen, having placed it briefly in the food window to position on my shoulder to carry out. After having delivered the salads and carried out a few other duties, for other tables, I learned to my horror that one of the guests' salads, a 30 something year old woman off to the side in the room with the party, that I delivered had a metal screw in it and she had painfully bit down on it not realizing it was there.

Our best guess was that it had fallen from one of the heat lamps, but such a thing never crossed our mind as being possible until then. Not knowing what to do I went back to the kitchen to seek help from the manager on duty. "Jane, you have to drop what you are doing and come help me." -"John, can't you see I'm busy trying to get all these tickets ready." -"No, you don't understand... you HAVE to come do this now..." -"What could be so important..."

Trying to keep it from exploding further, I discreetly let her know what happened and what I knew of the situation. She tried to run damage control and notified corporate later. In the meantime, there was still a lot to do foodwise.

Everyone else's experience was great and it seems noone but the woman and her husband even knew of the incident as having happened, so they were shocked to have it explained to them why the check was discounted as heavily as it was.

I was sure that there would be repercussions, that I and/or the manager would be fired, possibly a lawsuit against the company, but... nothing happened...

To this day, I still feel guilty about it happening.

I'd totally get fucked by a dog

You are the most faggot sociopath on earth.

When I was 12, i scammed a bunch of dumb 'murican fags for yugioh cards (i'm from EU)

>be 14
>go visit my bro bro
>he's not home but i have the key
>his doggo is happy to see me
>doggo bends over
>i use his fresh feces as loob
>fuck doggo
>bro bro comes home
>through the window
>through the wall

I'm here.
It's only happened the once. Will it happen again? I don't know. It hasn't changed her drinking at all, and they're still very close; if it had really freaked them out I'd expect some change in their behavior. I might try again just to see what happens.

>be me 15
>at brothers house taking care of his dog
>he had to go out of the house
>forgot why
>got super thirsty
>hit up this girl called her
>because no txting back then
>she wanted me to ride my bike to her
>fuck no, its like 100 outside in TX
>talks dirty I fap
>dog comes and licks my dick
>diamonds
>Dog keeps licking my dick
>I am about to throw up
>but feelsgoodman
>I grab dog
>miniature beagle
>turn it around
>try to fuck its asshole
>I realize what Im doing and
>run to throw up
>never try again
>realize I'm a fucking freak.
>mfw I look at myself in the mirror

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

my neighbor's kid is mine. the tl;dr is
>work with woman, become friendly
>she bitches about her no-good husband all day
>after about a year and a half, they separate for like 2 weeks
>she pretty much immediately comes to me for sex, no idea how many other dudes she started hooking up with tho
>couple weeks of fucking 4-5 days a week. her house, my house, work, wherever
>she makes amends with husbando, but we keep fucking
>she hadnt fucked her husband in months, so when she missed her period she freaked out
>we immediately decide she should nut up and fuck him, and pretend the kid is his
>it fuckin worked
if you're wondering, because of the timing of the pregnancy it couldnt have been her husband's, so when the kid was born she had me and whoever else she fucked take a paternity test. the dude's none the wiser, as far as i know, and i'm off the hook for child support

I go on Sup Forums

I once grounded up my semen into powdered and gave it to a guy telling him it was coke

the absolute madman

how do you make powdered semen? I would think you would need a drying chemical of some sort.

I fucked one of my lecturers and acted as her date for a term to pass a core module.

Earlier today I let my 7yo niece shower with me after we went swimming. and no, i didnt molester her or anything,

My first cousin and I have had a sexual relationship since we were kids. We started role playing brother and sister shortly after the night we lost our virginity to each other.

we also both enjoy watersports.

details?

here u go

I guess I'm not surprised by all the dogfuckers on Sup Forums

My sister was addicted to painkillers. I hooked her up in exchange for sex.

I missed out on this story... Would you mind telling it again?

did you cum in her?

bitches need love too

I have no friends and I'M schizophrencis

Oh hell yeah. She hated that, which made me just get off on it more.

Probably why you have no friends as well

My wife knows and supports me dressing up like a girl.

What she doesn't know is that I let older men fuck me on the regular.

Both your ages?

fuckin SHerlock Holmes again

I'm guessing she didn't enjoy having sex with you?

How did you guess my secret?

how much? in botcoin?

i hate my job at Mcdonalds so much that i go in the bathroom every 10 minutes to rub the sores from my herpies with one hand and i literally take a shit and wipe my ass with my other hand.. and than i make the customers food with no gloves and i usually end it with a nastey smokers cough all over the finished product.. sometimes i piss a small amount on a full stack of cups .. but not enough to notice .. its enough to get me sick.. lol and i fucking serve the scum bag fat fucks that eat there.......................................................................................................................................

I'm 26, she's 28.

She didn't want to do it; she just didn't have any other source. But I do think she enjoyed it.

I helped my ex gf fuck a dog

Matched with a really hot girl on tinder in rio, she wanted to meet up. Turned out she was a trans, and a hooker. Didnt give a fuck and fucked him/her anyway, and smoked a joint afterwards. Was wurf

That is so unbelievably hawt. Describe how your sister looks? And wether or not she was wearing heels during sex

My gf and her brother got drunk and used ecstasy while I stayed sober but pretended to be high with them. Used that to cajole her into fucking both of us, which worked surprisingly well.

>story?

scandalous

No, she was on painkillers cuz of an accident. Injuries to her spine and leg, she hasn't worn heels since it happened.
She's 5'6", a soccer player--long brown hair and a thin tight body. Small tits with pink puffy nipples. Maybe a 6.5 or 7/10, depending on your tastes.

Will you ever try again?

One time I stole a birdie from the gym supply closet so I could play badminton with my friends outside of school.

Am I going to Hell?

Probably the worst thing I have done in my life, my bitch gf lied to me about getting preggo, so i had to take administrative actions...

AKA force a miscarriage

Anyone want greentext?

Sadly she's clean now, so no need for the pills, which means my leverage is gone. We're not as close as we used to be so I won't really have another chance. But that was a good 2 years while it lasted.

Yes goodfag. you are going to hell.

Story. give the greentext.

Why would you feel guilty if it was something you couldn't control? It fell from a lamp or something didn't it?

I'm really wondering why you aren't as close anymore

i shit myself when i was 13 in school in front of the girl i liked at the time

Well Mr Potter, it was FFUCKING OBVIOUS

Yeah, big shock, right? I don't regret it though.

>gf of 4 years
>she wants kids
>i fucking hate kids

>"cum inside user, it's super hot"
>not falling for this again nigger, i hate kids
>"no it's okay i'm on birth control"

>cum inside
>shits cash
>ff 1-2 weeks

>i have 4 straight days off work, get back on the third day off after a night with the lads
>take a leak
>shower
>shave
>little cut on jaw from shaving
>little faggot cut wont stop bleeding
>toilet paper on cut, throw it in bin
>bright pink box in bathroom bin, wtf is that shit
>preggo test
>Fuckthisshit.jpeg
>confront bitch gf about it
>"yeah im pregnant"
>argument ensues over her lying to my face
>she refuses to have an abortion

I'm dating one girl, banging a married woman on the side, and I fly out of town 3 or 4 times a year to spend a weekend with an ex girlfriend who is also married.

>ff 4-5 days
>I'm pretty tight with my sister, so i tell her whats happened
>sis tells me that access vitamins can give more of a chance of a miscarriage, but only to do that as a last resort
>yeah fuck that shit, plan is already in motion

>it's probably a good point in the story to mention that my gf always drinks water, not any water though, it HAS to be flavored, doesn't matter the flavor, she will drink the water.
>also a good point to mention that I myself, am a chef, so at work and at home I have different flavorings/essences, things like wild berry, lemon, strawberry, whatever, you get the point faggot

>so i go to the store, buy a shit loads of vitamins in tablets, A/B/C/D all the way to fucking Z
>Now I just need to find a way to get her to take them in bulk
>friend at work put some of my berry flavoring in his water so it's not flavorless

>go to work
>see friend has used my shit
>nigger ask next time faggot.
>wait no... this is perfect, you are forgiven this time

>finish early
>go home
>crush up vitamins A/B/C/D/Z
>get pan, boil and dissolve the vitamins in the water
>put water in jug, let it cool
>add flavorings

>ngl it smelled and tasted pretty good

>gf finishes work, instantly changes and goes on a jog with her girlfriends
>text her "got you some new healthy stuff for you and the baby!"
>she gets excited
>gets home. sees water in jug/container
>tell her its my own flavoured water, and then show her some random health smoothies in the fridge

ff a few hours, we're cuddling on the sofa
>she starts asking about the water I made her
>mfw she starts begging me for some
>get up, get her the biggest glass I can find, fill that shit to the top
>i just get a coke
>back to the sofa, feelsgoodman
>she chugs that shit and asks for more
>mfw
>get her more water

ff another 2-3 days
She's still drinking the water, on the last bottle of it
>she texts me asking if i can pick her up when she finishes work
>why?
>so we can go to the doctors to get an ultrasound
>of course i will, time to see if my sister wasn't bullshitting.
>3PM, drive to her work, pick her up, go to faggot paki doctor
>she gets lubed up, they put the scanner on her belly, you know the drill

>doctor "Ahh, you see that little blob there, thats the baby"
I start to get worried that i might actually be a father
>doctor "Umm, i cant seem to find a..."
>Calls for several nurses and machines to be immediately taken to our room
>me and gf are like "wtf is going on"
>doctor "i am sorry user, i cannot seem to find a heartbeat, i will need to further examine
>I am then asked to leave the room, so i leave, hoping that my plan worked

>apparently they found the baby was dead, i wonder how...
>gf is crying, i heard her from the corridor
>the doctors needed to open her up to extract the dead foetus
>as much as i am trying to hold back my own laughter, i am disgusted with myself that i have done this.
>doctors come outside and tell me whats happened, i pretend to look interested and worried.

ff 3-4 days, she is discharged from hospital

>she has a nasty wound/scar on her stomach
>fuck this bitch, she lied to my face
>use her a bit before i decide what i am going to do
>unleash some of my pent up range and anger with her by facefucking her pretty hard, and then make a big mess on her face of her own spit and my cum
>leave her lying on bed in all that mess
>go into bathroom, clean up
>she just looks at me like "why the fuck did you do that so hard"
>me "sorry bitch, i dont do well with lairs, especially those that lie about being on birth control, it's over, pack your shit and leave my house"
>she starts balling, as i start chucking her shit out the door
>tfw she leaves my house in a teary rage, without cleaning her face up.
>i couldn't help but laugh when i finally got my revenge

I kil family n raep dog

Lmao i've done the same and I was also about that age

This is all made up bullshit.

Vitamins in insane amounts sure maybe but she'd fucking notice she was drinking disgusting sludge.

But the worst part of this story? A DNC is done through the vagina. There is absolutely NO WAY they would go through the stomach under any circumstances. There would be no wound / scar.

Get your stupid bullshit out of here summer faggot

For 5 years I would undress my deep sleeping step sister and explore her body and jerk off with her hand or put my dick in her mouth. I feel bad about it now but I still do it.

gf or wife, user? there's a lack of consistency btw your posts. calling bullshit

They dont even try anymore.

Nothing to feel bad about, long as she never finds out she's not hurt. Keep it up user

Men in uniform make me so horny I have to fap asap

Well, he's lying for one thing

I continued to sleep with 5 different fuckbuddies while dating a new girl and telling her that we were going steady

I have social anxiety

I've avoided going to a mental therapist for the last 11-12 years because I don't believe that I am worth fixing, or that there was not anything to fix. I have today been told that I have a borderline personality disorder, well that explains a helluva lot. I hate myself more than I ever did, but I feel like killing myself is too easy and would rather spend my life hating myself. But I don't know whether that's just me being a coward or whether I really do hate myself. I certainly know that I'm not a good person and I certainly know that one day I will end my own life whether it's now or 20 years from now.

I'm 28. From England. Sandnigger. I have a wife. I have two children. I have left my religion. I have what some people would call a decent job; and yet in the midst of it all, I don't know who I am. I don't know what I am. I don't know what I want of myself. I just want to go, but where, when, how, I don't know.

Fuck me, I should kill myself. Soon. Jesus.

>I have left my religion
>Jesus

Don't you mean Allah?
You need to find yourself, before a bullet finds you buddy

Why don't you just get a different job instead of taking out your lack of skills on innocent people?

Have you tried not being a massive faggot and getting a life?

It was more an expression of "jesus christ I'm fucked either way"

I fapped to fnaf porn once

I have masturbated and will cum to hell now hrlp

fuck, man
that's fucked up even by Sup Forums standards

You Rock

LOL

I used to suck off my friend in highschool, this went on for a little over a year. We'd get together at least three times a week and I'd spend the entire time blowing him. If people were home we'd go out for a bike ride to the forest so I could suck him there.

Liar

I did the same thing

Here's something juicy that just happened.

As a preface I moved in with a neckbeard I knew in college after he got a large inheritance from his parents, and I've been living at his house pretty much for free.

I dug this off of his computer...

So, , I'm sorry for being so awkward about this, but I think you're hot. I overheard you and user talking about you starting progesterone, and I have a breast expansion fetish. There's nothing I would like more than to play with your boobies as they grow, and maybe even massage them so they become engorged, then suckle the milk from them.
I'm just asking as a friend, though. Please don't feel pressured. When I asked user about physical intimacy after she moved in, she assumed that I was trying to extort sexual favors from her in exchange for living here, which wasn't the case at all, but I understand her concern. Please don't feel pressured or anything.
If you say no, nothing will change and you will still get to live here for /month for the forseeable future. Again, I'm sorry for being so gross and awkward about all this, but I just wanted you to know that ya don't 'ave ta be Oirish ta touch me shillelagh. ; p
Also, I'm still planning to help you with your tonight.

The guy has a faustian complex and living with him is like living with Christain Weston Chandler. He actually compares himself to CWC a lot and seems to have internalized his image.

I have more if you guys want to see more, lol.