Holy shit, Sup Forums. I have a story to tell. And I can't tell it anywhere but here, because frankly, FUUUUCK

Holy shit, Sup Forums. I have a story to tell. And I can't tell it anywhere but here, because frankly, FUUUUCK.

>be me, owner / operator of my own business, doing structural architecture and contracting (mostly green LEED / modern development for housing & retrofit)
>have title of "principal" because I'm the boss, but realistically I can't do my job without my team
>get slew of summer intern applications
>interview every single one personally without telling them who I am because hey, I'm hands-on like that and it's not hard in a 40 person company to do it like that
>if they did any research on the company at all they'd realize who they were interviewing with
>go through four candidates who are strong
>fifth candidate shows up in my email from a former exGF now college professor who says I would really appreciate you giving this one a shot
>no work experience relevant to the field of work
>no job history
>no declared major
>WTF
>call her, tell her that I won't want this one because of the utter lack of anything to do with what I have
>this is a good kid, just needs to find some focus in her life, and she is very active in the solar activism here at the uni
>fine, whatever, but please remember I doubt somehow this is going to work out

Day of Interview, I always stagger interviews to be concurrent and have at least 3-4 people interview them, specifically people who would be responsible for them at work.

>two males who are in the best suit and ties they can scrounge up on college tuition
>1st male is uberalpha, talks a great game, wears red tie, and is super, SUPER excited to be here, but has no idea what he's doing other than "make a fantastic impression"
>2nd male did a little research on me and is doing really, REALLY well with me in interview. He also worked on one of my subcontractor's concrete crews, so he knew to bring clothing for the "surprise" practical

Continued...

bump

Go on

Let's hear more of this

Expecting fifth to be a sjw/feminazi.

if she is, she probably did something like accused him of rape because she didn't get the job

Trump

>1st female is slender, attractive redhead with a braid, which is bad for me, but she is the best qualified of the five
>2nd female is a (I kid not) black Jewish lesbian wearing a pants suit and wants to use her career to bring affordable housing to her neighborhood in Chicago
>and where's the 3rd female?
>3rd candidate shows up
>3rd candidate is roughly spherical
>3rd candidate has a beard. Wispy, ugly, fedora-type beard
>3rd candidate immediately insists on their/them as a pronoun
>3rd candidate is wearing what I would call the Tube Of Lard Outfit - a long lacy shirt with pants and I kid not, a fedora
>I can skip the other four

My other rule, if I know someone isn't going to pass muster with my team, I don't bother continuing the interview process beyond just me.

>but shit, exGF wanted me to give her a chance

So I continue past the incredibly awkward first conversation where the first questions were whether there was a unisex toilet or whether s/he could use whatever bathroom they felt like (which was "we have bathrooms on every floor and they're not gendered because we don't care").

>get to practical

Now, I always have candidates do practical work because if they're designing something, they have to know how it's going to come out and the builder has to work with their design.

>here's a jumpsuit, you can change in the locker room, and we have boots for you to cover your feet so you don't ruin your clothing.

>1st male was more than a little shocked, but did ok
>2nd male poured like a fucking champ and asked if I wanted it made ready for polishing or if it was going to be used as structural
>1st female jumped at the chance and said "that was fun, I've never done that before, wow, would this be part of the job?"
>2nd female got in there and did it FOR THE COMMUNITY - IE, with gritty-ass determination to be kickass black Jewbian
>this fat fucking tumblrina flat refuses to do the pour because it's fat-shaming her

Continued

Waiting...

this is going to be better than I thought

bump

Oh dear god.
>I shrug and say, "well, if you're not interested in the job, that's fine, but the management team insists that everyone who works here does site visits and works as part of a practical team doing this work."
>the fat bitch begins ranting about how this is sexist and how insanely awful it would be to work with men out in the concrete group and that would be very triggering to her sensibilities.

Now, let's be clear. I have heard of this stupidity. I have heard jokes about being triggered. I have NEVER heard someone say they would be triggered.

>I'm sorry you feel that way. I think it's fairly obvious that this isn't a good fit for you at this time, so I'd like to say thank you for coming in and all the best
>fatbitch starts saying, "It's because I'm genderfluid, isn't it? You're discriminating against me because I'm genderfluid. I want to talk to your manager."
>sorry, that's not really going to happen.
>why, do you think your boss will tell you how much you screwed up because you'll get sued for discrimination?
>no, because I own the company.
>hand her my business card
>You really need to leave now
>watch genderfluid fuckface begin looking for ways to spin this
>i need to use your bathroom
>no
>NO?
>no. You need to leave. Now. Or I'll call the police. Or just have the concrete guys escort you for me.

Continued

Hurry up op shit it's cash

Someone screencap this shit, top quality kek

inb4 the otherkin rages out in your business

Include me in the screencap

This shit's cash

How much money do you make a year?

You are a child

Photoshop my reply on a dick

I finally get her off site, and call my exGF and give her the rundown on the situation, and describe exactly what happened.
>oh no, I thought maybe if she just had some real experience with it
>saywhatbitch?
>I thought if she actually saw what the real world was like she might understand why she can't hold down a job in the student union or why she isn't able to communicate with people
>oh great
>what?
>I gave her my business card
>oh, she probably won't do anything
>okay, bet you a blowjob and a solid fuck she does

I wound up hiring the redhead, the lesbian, and the dude who knows what he's doing. Surprisingly enough the redhead is my Girl Friday intern while the concrete guy is going super strong with my 2nd in command. Black Jewbian is doing some solid fucking work in the field with the site management team.

Now, I have been spending a LOT of time with redhead, doing lunch and working full time. I'm pretty sure she's flirting heavily with me and I'm ready to rip off whatever summerdress she's wearing, but still keep it in my pants at least until I know it's not straight idiocy.

Then, two weeks ago...
>here comes fat tumblrina
>at the head of a LGBTQ group in my office
>demanding to know why she wasn't hired
>with a fucking news crew from the local rag
>so I say I'm not at liberty to discuss the hiring decisions, but I can say it was easily established that this person was not qualified for the position by any sense of the word
>why did you let her interview
>I did so as a favor to an old friend, which we now both regret
>tumblrina begins chanting "queer discrim!"
>nobody chants along
>eventually gives up
>so I say, "why don't I explain it this way?"

bump
this storys getting good

>Everybody get on the floor

>Walk the dinosaur

Go home dude your drunk

Oh yes, nailed it! They're starting to leave college and go out into the real world, Sup Forums. There are gonna be a lot more of these stories soon.

ooooo this gon be good

This has my interest

yeah, this ls alright.

carry on Op the pop

quality Sup Forums thread

>take them out to the floor
>ask who could pour a concrete slab, right now, we need someone who can do this on our crew
>three of the people say "hell, I did that with my dad"
>two step up
>hand them jumpsuits and boots
>turn around and say this is a standard part of our interview process. Everyone works here. Nobody sits around and blogs about their personal lives. This is my test to see who is willing to do the work and who's just here to get a paycheck for doing nothing
>silence
>except from tumblrbitch, who is now saying "BUT IT'S DISCRIMINATION"
>one of the reps turns around and says "you lying sack of shit"
>next rep looks at her and just slaps her
>two that volunteered pour the concrete and look at me like "gonna make something of it?"
>say good job. If you want the job I start my crew at $18 an hour, 12 hour days, lunch included, but it's hard work.
>1st person declines
>2nd person, a flamingly gay guy with muscles accepts
>and they leave
>except tumblrina, who insists that she's going to prove it
>except before I took them out to the floor I had redhead call the cops
>and there they are to arrest tumblrina for criminal trespassing
>wave at her
>call exGF to give her heads up
>you're not going to press charges, are you user?
Continued

Go on, also pics of redhead? And the jewbean

kill yourself dumb summerfag

MOAR

Just slaps her you say? Very much truth mr sir.

Someone is screening and photoshopping this right?

go on

Yo I'm interested in fat tumblrina xD This cunt should be famous so everyone knows who's they are really dealing with.

I hope

>Summerfag

Sure is summer around here

>Yep, yep I am. She was told not to come back and I don't want to deal with her again
>exGF is profusely sorry
>okay, fine, I won't press charges, but you owe me the blowjob.
>i thought that was a joke
>apparently it was a joke. Don't ever ask me for a favor again, because joke or not, you made my life much less pleasant today. You called in your markers. We're done here.
>hang up
>exhale
>see redhead standing in the doorway
>um
>yeah?
>she closes the door to my office
>you okay?
>sure. usually when I have to fire someone it's because they were snorting coke off some hooker's ass before coming to work.
>well, that actually sounds like fun
>wait, what part, the hooker?
>she laughs at me
>no, the snorting things off my ass
>turns around
>beet red
>I don't know what to say other than "I have pixie sticks in my top drawer"

The end of the story:
Continued

I hope so, bc this shit it's happening! Kek

>Calling people out on being summerfags
I hate summer

Quality work OP, great thread

>I hate summer
Being this summer already

Waiting on that shop

>When summer hits Sup Forums

fucking low life shit

hi

Winterfags are worse

Kys newfag you probably can't even triforce

Fast forward to today
>redhead stopped trying to be subtle
>which is good, because I mistook subtle for "total indifference"
>had afternoon fucktime with my intern an hour ago
>going to go to court in an hour to do grand jury testify against tumblrina
>redhead said if I come over to her house afterwards, I can take her anal cherry to get my mind off things
>I am on Cialis
>my entire business is being run basically by other people while I deal with this shit
>I officially fucking hate genderqueers and genderfluids
>but without them, I would not be tapping an ass 15 years younger than me

So thanks, Genderfluid. You spent four days in jail, lost your "community", and wound up giving me both a full-time fucktoy and the gayest crew lead that ever held an elephant dick for concrete pours.

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

Great thread, OP, well done.
Still waiting for a shop.

Oh, and just so you know - I put this thread up on Sup Forums, which I know you browse for MLP porn (depositions are awesome). Hopefully your court-appointed attorney reminds you of the fact that rage is a bad thing to show in court.

Have fun in jail, MRS. ROBINSON.

SOLID STORY M8

I screan capped but im on mobile so rip

If this thread is still alive in 30 mins or so i may be on a computer

No fucking photoshops.

OP I'm curious about the hot redhead and fat tumblrina, pics?

Go for it

Fuck my spelling but whatever

this

Screencapped story, now editing

OP is not a faggot

Bless ye user

op: 1
tumblr: 0

Post it if you finish it b4 thread goes, I'd like to save that shit

>Or just have the concrete guys escort you for me
My sides have achieved escape velocity.

...

Calling other summer so other doesn't notice his a summer itself
Kys

topkek

good thread

in b4 the lock

I want a gender-fluid Ham-Galaxy to inadvertently spruce up my sex-life.

Maybe if she's gender fluid she should man mode and pour the fucking slabs like she was asked

nice

Bump for screencap

Here you go, just like I promised.

Not him but working on clean version, must be done in 10 mins

dont die on me

Why'd you add the "Screen capped by blitz" thing? Are we supposed to know who you are?

bump

Belived you until you fucked the red head.
Ok, even that would be beliveble but anal tottaly killed it.

Doesn't really matter, opening it in ms paint and sticking white over it

Don't forget to draw a penis on

Done....not that clean but meh, did what I could

OMGOMGOMGMOGOMGOMGOMG

ITS BITZ I LOVE YOUR WORK MAN> CAN I SUCK YOUR DICK>

please include me in the screencap

no.

no one will ever know you existed.