Character wakes up

>character wakes up
>I need my coffee

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>"Don't talk to my until I've had my morning coffee!"

I'll talk to you whenever I please, dicknozzle.

...

>character wakes up
>water bed leaking
>trips on shoe
>lands face first and eyes are aligned with a clock that fell on he floor letting the character know he is late

...

Give it a rest, teenager.

name 6 kino where this happens

>character wakes up
>doesn't have an alarm clock connected to a spring that pies him in the face with a shaving cream pie

>character has coffee before eating anything

It is an American thing. They become addicted to caffeine and can't function without a morning coffee.

>straight male character pours himself a cup of coffee
>adds milk/sugar/splenda

>scene enters on character sleeping, who immediately wakes up looking perfect
>doesn't have boogers and a smear of drool across their cheek

tfw never had coffee in my life

>character wakes up
>immediately gets out of bed and starts his day

Look at the bottom left hand corner of your meme, friendo :^)

Which in turn is caused by Americans working too many hours and being sleep-deprived.

>Characters meet for coffee date

>Don't have the awkward, overwhelming urge to shit 20 minutes later

My dad was like that. Glad that fucker finally croaked, to be perfectly honest with you famalamadingdong.

>croaked

>Strawman: The image

It's like fucking clockwork

All uppers are like that, amphetamines especially.

>all these kids who don't drink their morning coffee
lel

>needing a chemical to stimulate your brain every day

>being a manchild

>not enjoying the taste of coffee with the stimulation being a pleasant side effect

Doesn't the brain function based mostly on chemical reactions anyway?

>character wakes up

>character wakes up
>doesn't have a throbbing, painful erection

I wish I liked the taste of coffee. I hate it and feel like I'm missing out on so much

It's all electrical impulses and chemical reactions son

>character wakes up
>it was all a dream

>Character wants coffee
>But only if its decaf

>don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee
>but sir, you don't drink coffee

>character wakes up
>doesn't immediately grab his gun off the nightstand and spend 30 minutes deciding whether or not he should kill himself

Dumb Frogposter.

>character wakes up
>girlfriend is packing telling him she's leaving

youtube.com/watch?v=G0NnpJb0NwY

>character wakes up
>doesnt have a raging, throbbing, foreskin bursting hardon which his hand automatically rockets to

It's really great when enjoyed and not used as a crutch. And when not taken to extremes of serving size like Americans are prone to doing.

>character is established as never having had a wet dream that stained the fuck out of his sheets and caused his mom to bring them out in front of the family

>character wakes up
>can smell his stinky crotch
>runs his fingers over his sweaty dick and balls
>sniffs them
>does it for ten minutes

In America the serving sizes are that big because it has less caffeine than other countries. I think.

I'm not a coffee doctor so I might be wrong

Dude, sea kelp if thats you

How do they live without their government-mandated nine months' vacation every European enjoys?

>charater wakes up
>doesnt immediately contemplate suicide

Immersion ruined

Who's gonna take this b8?

literally all of my co-workers do this, they all go out for coffee before 10am every day.

>tfw all the cute girls i work with ask me if i want to go with them to get coffee but i always say no because caffeine doesn't do anything to me and coffee makes me shit my brains out and fart for two hours

>character wakes up
>crotch smells like bad ranch dressing
>he's okay with this

>tfw I love coffee but it makes my heart go crazy and gives me the shakes and makes me feel like im going to die

still messin with them freak hoes
stank ass pussy smellin like cool ranch doritos

You should buy coffee with a lower caffeine count bro

>Character goes to the bathroom.
>Doesn't shake his dick at least two dozen times.
>Doesn't still get a little pee stain on his undies no matter how much he shakes.

I've tried decaf but even that still gives me a bit of the shakes with that tiny bit of caffeine
I guess my tolerance to it is just shit because I don't drink soda or anything. I'd probably have a heart attack if I drank an energy drink

>he doesn't have morning caffeine injections right into his dick

>character shakes dick
>doesnt get raging hardon that must be dealt with

>male characters are discussing urination
>one is horrified to learn another just flips his dick out over the top of his pants
>woman looks on like "o u boys" and is depicted as superior

this 2bh.

whenever i pee before i do it with my gf i get in bed and she gets mad that there's a pee spot on my undies

Something I find ironic about frogposters.

They're the crossposters from r9k who whine about "normies," yet the peak of frogposting is in daylight hours. You don't see as much at say 3 in the morning when the vampires who have truly given up on line browse Sup Forums.

It leads me to believe that most frogposters are just college/highschool students, many of them probably teenagers who spend too much time on reddit/twitter/facebook.

>character brushes his teeth
>there is no blood

All this fucking talk of coffee

>few years back
>go to visit relatives in Sweden
>They drink coffee every time that they sit down
>like 10 cups a day it seems
>decide to try some
>spend the next hour or so having stomach aches and shitting like my life depended on it (I think it did)

If the Swedes wanted to take care of their immigration problem, they could just hand out coffee at the border. Seriously, Ive never had coffee that strong anywhere else.

do you think everyone on Sup Forums is from the same timezone?

Key is to wet your hands and wipe em on your pants so you kinda have wet handprints covering the pee droplets

>character wakes up
>coffee house was just a dream

>character goes to bed
>keeps his shoes on

Don't put cream in it.

It's 2:17 right now.

What are you a Sup Forums detective?

>>character brushes his teeth

Your gums are weak bra go to a dentist

I think the majority of the board's population are American and there's only 4 hours difference from east to west coast.

>Character doesn't brush his teeth with cake frosting.

Fucking hate foreign films.

i don't, i use almond milk. everyone knows that coffee speeds up digestion and can cause diarrhoea

I've never been to /r9k/ pham

>le men cannot enjoy sweetened things meme

there are more europeans here than you think

>not realizing pepe became a normie meme literally years ago

Newfag

Sweetened coffee is disgusting though

depends on the kind of creamer tbqh

Shouldnt they be praying to Mecca?

who /gradys/ here

>european character acts smug when American is around
>cries self to sleep over tfw no greencard

>character wakes up dead

>character wakes up
>cries himself back to sleep

>character wakes up
>doesn't cry for thirty minutes before getting out of bed

they could just do it as a quick montage

>character wakes up
>there's a horse's head crying at end of bed

>a female character has literally never woken up with sheets soaked by a wet dream
Dont they know this happens to us too?

...

>romantic movie
>cumshots literally never "cum" up
Seriously?

(you)

>character exists
>doesn't go on Sup Forums to post Bliss

It's like they make this shit up

>characters use the F bomb every other word
>arent uneducated lowlives

>Vietnam war
>it ain't me starts playing

Show me your coffees Sup Forums

>characters have sex
>immediately turn and lay on their backs without showing any movements that the man pulled out or came inside of the woman

Always bothered me with sex scenes. Because if he ended up cumming inside the woman, it would be extremely messy and uncomfortable for her to just lay there and ignore it then go to sleep.

And it never shows the guy actually pulling out to cum anywhere.

...

And a male character has literally never gone to sleep with the condom on his dick and woken up to a crusty dry horror show.

If you add anything to your coffee you must not like the taste, so why not just take a fucking energy shot instead? There isn't a sweetener in the world that doesn't make the coffee taste like ass, literally for women, children and faggots who go "wahhh it's bitter!"

>character wakes up
>doesn't exercise before heading to the office

>character showers in the morning instead of just before bed

Good coffe is legit in the top 10 things in life