Why are they so good at winning football matches but so bad at winning wars?

Why are they so good at winning football matches but so bad at winning wars?

a football match is 11 vs 11 and not 366 vs 11 desu

>it literally takes multiple countries to defeat Germany

You tell me.

zionsim

Thread

Russians

Atleast we know how to deal with birds

and even then, Germans get back up and become the strongest economic power yet again. :^)

don't mention the war

Being in the center of Europe with shit allies doesn't help them much.

>world history started in 1914

stupid colonials

Football is the last outlet of nationalism in Germany.

fug he has a point

Sup Forums, did I ever tell you about Oberfeldwebel Neuer? He is the most famous MG 42 gunner in the entire Wehrmacht. A simple-minded, but physically impressive aryan, Neuer grew up on a small farm in Bavaria. After enlisting in the Wehrmacht, he quickly became famous for his ability with the Maschinengewehr. Called "the wall" by his comrades, Neuer has stopped enemy offensives many times virtually alone, mowing down countless russians in the process. He seems to have lost some of his humanity after all those bodies. He rarely talks or smiles, and he does his „work“ in a stoic, emotionless way. It is simply his job.

Then there is Obersturmführer Müller. The battle-hardened officer is skilled and highly successful in fulfilling his missions. However, those seem to be the only qualities he has. Müller is a monster. He may thrive in battle, but even more so in torturing russian POWs and jewish children, even continuing to do so when the needed information has already been provided. The atrocities Müller has commited are without number His men hate him because of his violent outbursts and his sadism. Even his superiors despise him, but because of his success and efficiency they let him get away with it.

>Germany had no allies
This meme again, kill yourself burger

Kroos is the SS Sturmbannführer who does mostly desk work. Stationed behind the frontlines, he does not actually see combat or cruelty. Still, he is by no means innocent, as his job consists of writing down numbers of deported jews and deciding which villages to exterminate as retaliation for sabotage. He does it with the passion only an office warrior could have.

Germans can't into military tactics
Their 'empire' was pathetic

>World War I
>Germany, Austria-Hungary, and the Ottoman Empire against USA, Russia, France, UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Belgium, Italy, and Japan

>World War II
>Germany, Italy, and Japan against USA, Russia, France, UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Belgium, Poland, and China

Neither look fair to me.

Gefreiter Goetze is the naive kid straight from the training camp. He writes to his mother every night and the other veterans take him under their wing and play pranks on him. A Red Army sniper kills him later.

The honorable Sturmbannführer Gomez just wants to do his duty and protect the lives of his men. He is a formidable soldier and a great leader and loved by his men However, there are many that hate him due to his lack of belief in the Nazi ideology. This also causes him to clash with the fervent Nazi's like Schweinsteiger and Kroos. Eventually they order Müller to shoot him in the back.

seesays the irrelevant country

USA only joined ww1 with a month left

>every time Germany starts a war it's called a world war because it literally takes the entire world to defeat them
Really makes you think

Best thread in Sup Forums

Standartenführer Schweinsteiger is very similiar to Tarantino’s Hans Landa. He is well-mannered, educated and charming, so not many suspect that the true face of Schweinsteiger is a much darker one: A sadistic monster who finds joy in hunting down fugitive jewish families. He enjoys toying with his victims, giving them hope and taking it again, until they break. However, unlike Landa, he is a fiercy supporter of the Nazi ideology.

You only play one football match at a time.

France was with the nazis you cunts. And countries like Canada, Australia and fucking New Zealand were even bigger memes back then.
Fact of the matter is, continental Europe almost entirely supported or at least favoured the nazis, Allies just didn't want to demonize too many people.

>waaaa wars are unfair!
lol

when are you gonna the start the third one?

it's getting kinda boring desu

Leutnant Hummels is a highly skilled and charming undercover agent. Stationed in occupied France, he is seducing the madames and mademoiselles, his way of finding out where their resistance husbands and fathers have their secret meetings

KEK
We have the second most relevant language after English
We have the most prestigious football league
No one speaks German outside of Germany or cares about the Buyernwinslol league

>We have the second most relevant language after English
You aren't China

>We have the most prestigious football league
You aren't England

>No one speaks German outside of Germany or cares about the Buyernwinslol league
Germany owns Europe

That is not true. They declared war in April 1917. The war ended in November 1918.

Hauptmannn Höwedes does not care much about the the Nazi ideology, nor does he particularly like it. He is kind to his men and not unnecessarily cruel to the enemy. He hates his superiors for their sadism and all he really wants is to get back to his wife and his two daughters.
However, deep inside he knows that even if he gets his old life back, the atrocities he has seen will never let him sleep well again, and things will never be the same.

Australia fought WW1 with a population of 4 million and WW2 with 6 million desu

You can sum it up by

WW1
>Germany, A-H and Ottomans vs France, UK and Russia

WW2
>Germany and Japan vs USSR, USA and (somewhat) UK

...

Sorry but "Bundesrepublik Deutschland" have never lost a war

>atrocities
Don't buy into the lies. The German Army wasn't particularly cruel.

The son of a black man from the french colonies and a breton woman, Boateng grew up in rural France. He never knew his father, and the simple-minded and friendly Neger lived most of his life on a small farm, helping his mother with the farmwork. Even though he never really was one oft hem, the villagers liked him due to his kindness, his modesty, and his hard-working nature. However, one day a Nazi convoy passes the village, transporting supplies to Paris. Among the soldiers ist the SS officer Schweinsteiger, who spots the Neger and promptly orders him shot.

>forcibly trying to make it look fair

>muh clean wehrmacht

this meme was disproved in 45

Disinfo agent detected

Leutnant Mesut Özil is a prototype of genetically enhanced superhumans created in Nazi laboratories. He can adapt his appearance to the environment and is nearly invisible. Mesut aka "Kamerad Chamäleon" usually breaks into the enemy lines and fulfills his duty as a spy.

Germany is winning the current war

The European non-agressive domination war

>population of 6 million
That still can't be counted as a major power though

Oberleutnant Klose, a WWI veteran, always had to fight twice as hard because of his polish ancestry.He succeeded though and quickly became a legend in the Wehrmacht He was later proclaimed honorary aryan by Hitler himself, but after being decorated, he was forbidden to fight because loss of such a hero would have been a crippling blow to german morale

>Kamerad Chamäleon
I was waiting for this

Obergefreiter Reus showed great potential, and his superiors saw his talent as early as in the recruitment camp. He was a young and fierce Nazi supporter and eager for battle. Reus wanted nothing more than to earn glory for himself and his Vaterland. However, he was injured during training, so he had no part in the occupation of Poland. Although he quickly recovered, he was injured again right before the gloy in France. He was injured a third time playing Fussball with his Kameraden right before the july push into Russia. Spending most oft he war in a hospital, he first saw battle in Stalingrad. He was killed by friendly fire during guard duty.

WW1 was
Germany managed to outnumber both the Franco-British on the Western front and the Russians on the Eastern front for most of the war

WW2 wasnt, simply because the USSR had a bigger available manpower and the US had a big potential one (even though they didnt need to use it to a big extend)

Oh god, please stop being proud of this you mentally disabled retard. There is no Germany, we're just a kike tool today.

People can't browse Sup Forums in 2016 and still be this bluepilled.

Didnt you lose to emus?

>WW1 was
Is this your definition of a fair war?

>Kamerad Chamäleon

>There is no Germany, we're just a kike tool today.
That's what the USA wants you to think

Joachim Löw never wanted a leading role in the SS. Friends with Seyss-Inquart, all he wanted was a cushy bureaucratic job, pushing papers.
Now though, the entire leadership of the SS was decimated. Joachim was send to the East, to lead the charge against Stalin's menacing Red Army. This nearly caused a mental breakdown in him, and resulted in a number of nervous tics, such as constantly grabbing his nose, and scratching and smelling himself in company of Nazi leadership.

Joachim is cracking, and everyone knows it

how are veterans of the vichy army looked at in france, or at least the few still around. In the US every old guy's obituary will have a little sentence or 2 about his war, "Joe proudly served his country in the Navy from 42-45" or more if he did something significant, how about France? I always wondered.

Now try to deduct the countries listed that arrived in the last months

Neither World Wars went to penalties

No one really know about the Vichy "army"
They didnt do much aside from sinking the French fleet so the Germans wouldnt take it

Still nobody speaks their meme language tho.

Holy KEK. Include me in the screenshot please.

underrated post

>declare wars on multiple countries with alliances
>muh fair war
Dumber than a Total War AI 2bh

All of the countries listed fought for more than one year. Why are you trying so hard to make it look like something it was not?

good posts

>Picks fight
>Sore loser

People seem to forgetting OP said winning wars not fighting wars. It's irrelevant how "fair" the war is.

>if Germany wasn't run by retards who were hellbent on pissing off EVERYONE before declaring war on them they could have conquered the world twice

>tfw whatever side we choose during the next WW is the automatic winner

Hey Germans I have a question

Its not related to socxer so I apologize

What do you think about Dirk Nowitzki?

Also rooting for Germany against france.

>germany started ww1
solid memeing

>if the war didn't happen, Germany would have won it

Sounds legit

2bh, if USSR lost, USA would have nuked the fuck out of krauts.
So they were fucked anyway

Germany is lucky if it's even a shell of its former greatness. Now jews rule Germany.

Burns too much coal. Fuck him.

Neither do Argentinians look fair nor white.

>Invisible
>"Kamerad Chamäleon"

memes aside, hitler didnt lose because the genius of the allies, but mostly because his own mistakes (v.gr. designing an over-complicated military structure so no general manages as much info as himself)

Can it be called coal burning in Dirks case though? I've never heard a guy with a black girl called coal burning. Maybe call it vanilla melting

china + russia will not be on your side, and from your last decades performance, you should not feel so confident

>t. Abdullah Muhammed Demir

try joining the right side for a change.

Nah, fuck him. As for your question: I think most people dont really give a shit about him but will pretend that they do. The NBA is irrelevant in Germany and even though people being aware of his existence I highly doubt that they care or really have an opinion about him. Hes not like Schumi, Becker or any of the football players. He exists and if he wins he German and people are proud (or pretend to be, cant tell with these people).

Because germany is basically a country with aspergers syndrome, so they get really good at a few things (football, car manufacturing), have trouble making friends (no allies), can't deal with emotions (KILL THE JEWS! LET IN ALL THE SYRIANS!), and have an inflated opinion of themselves. Its like there was a class and the teacher had to leave and all the kids are goofing around, except for old autismo Germany who gets mad because he working and starts walking around shouting 'WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING AS HARD AS ME, I SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE CLASS'. So eventually the fat American kid holds him down, while the byldo Russian kicks the shit out of him, and the chavy Brit farts on his face. Sure, his homework is better than everyone elses, but no one wants him in charge.

It's ironic as no one wants Germany to win footballing tournaments and they're generally the bad guys.

However the world would be much better off if the Nazis had won and anyone with any self respect knows they were the good guys.

>t. Armando Kirchner

>no one wants him in charge
Biggest problem known to man: We elect leaders based on who we WANT in charge. Politics should be made by fucking nerds, not charismatic liars.

...

Germany was given the 2014 WC to keep happy because it was determined that they would receive millions of rapefugees
Brilliant really

Maybe the world would be a better place if all of us were germans.

because they didnt actually fight for an entire year. example being the US, they declared war but never actually fought until the last months

>dem trips

MEGA
E
G
A

They shouldn't have tried to chat shit then if they didn't want to get banged

Nah.

>The brit farts on his face
Always the british doing some gay shit

Says Puppet Government Billy

That is the best description of my country I have ever read on this board. Thanks, friend.

>tfw still feels good to be german.

Blaming anyone other than Russia and Serbia for WWI is ignoring history, no way around it. Serbia had Ferdinand killed and Russia supported them, fuck Slavs.

True, but can't see it changing. Nerdy beaurocrats tend to reduce the effect of stupid politicians - unless a true maniac gets in charge.