OK Sup Forums

OK Sup Forums
>about an hour ago
>Chilling late at night, can't sleep
>Decide to try making a sex toy out of a condom
>all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the fuckin door bell rings
>mini heart attack
>I live in semi ghetto, like I don't think anything major has gone on here
>look out the window through blinds
>nobody around
>fuckit.jpg
>go back to fuckin around
>ringing keeps occurring
>go tell my brother about it upstairs
>we both start examining the situation
Cont.

bump for interest

Bump

Bump

>brother pulls out his barely legal air soft gun, I pull out a wooden sword/bad investment
>we start just being cautious
Keep in mind we don't hear shit when we're upstairs.
>both go downstairs, bell rings
>we wake up our dad and tell him
"What time is it"
"4"
"I'll call the cops"
>we go downstairs and bell rings again, this time there's a pause before they let it go
>we all wait for popo five o
Also keep in mind there is a big ditch next to our specific apartment. It's nice and shaded. Possible place they were running

bagnp`

skoh OP

I ain't got all damn night!

>cop shows up, instantly assumes I'm Hispanic and starts speaking Spanish
"Fuck off I speak English"
"Oh"
"So what's the plan"
>pig starts going on about how we have the lights on and how times have changed, that they'll kill us even if we have nothing
"K but can you do something?"
"I'll drive around keep my eye out"
"There's a ditch right there you should check"
"I'll be on my way now"
>fuckin pig just left

>Oh shit nigger there's someone at the door! What do??!
Answer the fuckin door you plebb cunt

So yeah tl,Dr
I might die tonight, it's been real folks

>inb4: walk the dinosaur

I ain't opening that shit nigga

Like I've always seen people looking at me when I walk around in this place

But your wooden sword...

Listen I'm not no neck beard. I saw a wooden sword for five dollars when I was drunk, you figure out the rest.

so, what? That's IT?!?!?!?

you, OP are an ass sucking,
spooge dripping off of your chin and out of your gaping asshole FAGGOT!

K

>I was drunk, you figure out the rest
All I can figure out is that you're a faggot. Amirite?

Switched to mobile

Cont.

>go back and sit down with bro
>door rings again
>Fucking nigger running from the cops speed running to the door
>Teenager is standing there
>Just has his jaw hanging open groaning
>Wtf
>fucking power goes out
>hear footsteps run behind me and brother says fuck this
>slam door shut, lock it, grab my Glock and cock it yell god shady and pop it
>but seriously started using flashlight as phone
>Hear shit in the kitchen fuck man

cont

what area are you in so we can check local news of mass murder in your house

Tennessee m8

U BOUT TO KILL MY COUSIN BRO

HE JUS TRYNA UM FIX UR ELEKTRISITY

>Run to the kitchen
>Bro is flipping shit
>Teen is looking through cabinets like a fucking monster
>Tell him to get down or ill unload my nine into his nigger welfare line looking ass
>He grabs a box and just stops
"i need it"
>Fucking what
"Need what?"
>Starting to shake, fuck man
>It's a cereal box he lifts it and shows me
>ad for 3.50 dollars for a ticket to ghostbusters coming July 17th only to theatres with a mail in rebate
"i need about tree fiddy"

Now it was about this time i realized this nigger was an 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era.

Who ya gonna call lil guy?

This isn't me btw

you could say that he was a LARGE ANTAGONISTIC CRUSTACEAN amirite?

...

No shit. That post was readable mexicunt, go fuck your cousin.

...

Don't try reviving a dead ass meme, people do it enough already

Holy shit, I haven't seen a Loch-Ness-Monster pasta since like ot-seven. Well done, man.

...

Someone was probably so bazonkingly fucked up on psychoactive substances that they didn't know which apartment was which, and kept ringing your doorbell thinking it was someone else's. I've actually been on both sides of this equation. Your best bet is to tape a unique and brightly-colored picture or other object to your door so they can see it's either not the one they're looking for or is the one they just rang the bell at.

Either that, or it's someone you know tryna fuk witchu.

Either way, 99.9999% of either robbers or murderers are not going to ask permission for entry, so all indications are that you're safe from bodily harm.