A-Ask a psychologist anything!Im here for you user

A-Ask a psychologist anything!Im here for you user.

How long should I marinate brains in my urine to soften them up?

>Thread

>psychologist

get a real profession

yeah I always wanted to say that
/thread I guess

Yeah. Start a YouTube blog

Hi, welcome back Alice.

how do i suicides?

On a scale from 1 - 100, how much would you describe yourself as a professional snowflake tender.

pls no bully alice

Why would somebody pretend to be a psychologist on the famously grotesque message board Sup Forums? Need for attention? Need to lie or cheat others? Need for acceptance otherwise denied?

Kill yourself, Chris.

Are you a basement dwelling weaboo faggot, Ms Margaturd?

I'm not entirely sure you should be doing that?

I'm horrible depressed, I drink constantly, my girlfriend annoys me, my job is soul crushing.

So should I have coffee with two sugars or one this morning?

I have too many problems to describe, how do I kill myself fast and painless?

Everytime i walk outside i always think about how something could be applied to a video game or CGi, occasionally i look at tree shadows and think about how cool it looks and think about how i could replicate that in a game. How can i get rid of this and live normally?

if there are 2 kids both brothers if one kid gets more attention, will the other kid get inferiority complex??

I lost my job for being late 4 times in 2 months. I do care but I just can't seem to be on time. I am depressed now because I lost my job. How can I start being on time? How do I shake this horrible feeling of being a loser?

My cuckold fantasies are out of controll. I'm even thinking my gf with teen guys or her father. Any help?

At least you don't think about her being fucked by niggers

Diagonsed with personality disorder other. No medication, but next 3 months will be spend in an institution. what am I to expect and how long does it take to get well?

Lots of rape and never, you're stuck with the personality disorder for life

i hate niggers. Am i in the wrong for that? i'm not even joking. Every time i see a nigger i can't do anything but despise him/her. I'm not being openly aggressive to them or anything. But i just don't like being in a bad mood simply because a nigger showed up at my workplace.

But what if her father is a nigger?

>Denies science
>Wants to be respected
okay

Will I ever be able to go to work, and if not, then how do I cheat on yearly work health commision to seem to be normal.

Perfectly normal, niggers dark skin coloring decreases mood, why do you think ghettos are so depressing?

What is better?
Happiness, or satisfaction?

You'll be able to work, but it will be hard to keep a job, depending on the severity of your symptoms

are you here for me, i mean do you mean it or is this a bait?

Not in dat niggershit

He's not

Am not very agresive. Most of it is auto agresion. The problem is that every few years, I do something bonkers like last this may. I went to 3 countries, beat up 3 different women, with the goal of ending up in jail. But in the end I went back home, that is why I have to go to the institution. I wish that and the voices would stop, everything else is something I can deal with.

Start doing cocaine, it should get you back on track. Or it messes you up even more. It depends on the person.

alice is dead

Of course this isn't Alice.

Rape a woman and blame it on Charlie

I'd say happiness

It depends, OP isn't here for you. He's trying to impersonate Alice. But hey, I'm here for you.

is everything basically based on sex?

No.

Impotent. Plus am scared of women. Rape is not an option.

Medication and therapy, then you'll be a normal functioning member of society

Who says it's just the OP

No one going to help me?

But seriously, you should get medication. This sounds like a very serious case. Also, try to start working on projects, as an example a wooden box. The work is very therapeutic and when finished rewarding.

I'll help you user, I'll go right on it.

Work on your time management

Set alarms, get up early, leave early, give yourself enough time to get there with at least 15 minutes before the shift starts

> how do I shake this horrible feeling of being a loser?

Stop being late and getting fired from your jobs

Try and seek company with friends and family, just go out of it for a while. If you're not very social go on a small road trip. And for being on time, try a more regulated sleep routine.

who is alice?wasnt here for a while did i miss something?

nice reading skills

I'm starting to get better from my mid difficult depression and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up being the same asshole I were before I got depressed. How high are the changes that I will end up as that again? I mean well... I feel like I learned my lesson and all that but I'm still afraid of it.

How do I get laid if I'm ugly?

how does it feel knowing your 'profession' is literal bollocks
anyone can outfox you with a good poker face and strong motives because we can't read minds and never will

This faggot OP copy and pasted my last thread.
Fat faggot.

Moneys

Very small, your personality changes over time. You'll be fine.

Feels great, get paid stupid amounts of money to listen to people talk about their problems and only respond with more questions

Every jar has a lid.

Psychologist' paycheck isn't that high.

Find your local hookers, get laid, beat them to death with a baseball bat afterwards, rinse, repeat

What do you think of sociopaths?

That have been barely 12 hours, Avatarfag!
How do you expect me to come up with a new preferred method of you killing yourself in this small amount of time.
Especially on par with my hatred for your kind. However, despite not being so creative:

Please hang yourself with electrical wire. Its very sturdy and easy to aquire.

Thanks in Advance!

If your image is related, thy's most likely more of a psychopath.

care to specify said stupid amount?

If lucky, 30000$ a year?

If you think a psychologist just sits there and talks to people all day you are sorely mistaken, many psychologists work in multiple facets, they can be clinicians and teach a few classes, easily making 6 figures, that's not even getting into specialties of psychology

I have been dealing with cancer for two years now and i'm getting more miserable by the day.

All I do now is just wait to die. The things I used to enjoy are stupid and pointless. My friends don't talk to me anymore and my family only comes by to throw a pity party for themselves.

The only thing keeping me going is the small shred of hope that I will get through this and be happy again.

What can I do to hold onto that shred of hope?
or should I just take the bullet honestly I could go either way.

Where is alice?
Forgot to download the pics faggot?

A decent forensic psychologist who can act as a expert witness can make upwards of $2000 in a single day in court, all for giving 30 minutes of testimony

No, I don't? I'm just specifying that the paycheck of a standalone psychologist which has his own clientele isn't amazingly high.

OP is a faggot so ill help you.


Through the darkest of the times i will be here.
I will stay with you for as long as possible.
Everything will be ok, user

Not to be a freak but thanks user, that actually means a lot right now.

Again, depends on speciality as well i/o psychologist can start at over six figures, and that's just for telling companies how to make themselves more efficient

Neuropsychologists can start just under six figures

It's my honor :)!

Take the bullet

I hope YOU take the bullet you fat fag!

Rethink anything that happened in the past 4 years. You made it through that, right? You'll make it through this just as well. ;)

Indeed.

That doesn't seem like a very alice like response user

Alice is asleep, sst.

No stuttering either, try harder jeez

I'm not Alice.. Not claiming to be either.

...

I'm not OP either.

check trips

How can I deal with insecurities?

By not caring about what others think

Im 26 years old. Profesional. Very nice job.
Feel like many other companies want to hire me. Feel superior. What can I DO to not be an asshole and see everybody as a pice of .... ?

STILL A FAGGOT

You burn the 60% of the money.
Cant give to charity otherwise niggers will get support.

Take value in what other people think and feel, be empathetic

But if you don't care what others think are you still insecure about being a faggot?

Check and mate

I'm a drug addict, currently clean, moved back to my parents. My mother is scared if she gives me money I'll spend it on drugs, so she introduced a system very similar to "good boy points". So here I am... a 27 y/o loser who lives with his parents, receiving good boy points, I should just end it...

Probably

Institutions aren't that bad user. I spent some time in one for the same reason. No touching lol. Just accept the treatment is all I can say. It does help.

Said goodbye to the girl i loved because we got into different schools and now everything seems pointless. It's hard to explain i just don't get happy or sad by anything. Everything is just blank. Got accepted into a good school feel nothing making good results at the gym still feel nothing.. Is this all life is? just pointless stalling until the day i die? Why try if this is all there is.

Pretty much, just stalling off the inevitable

Talk to your parents about how and why you became clean. Explain to them that it isn't a good idea to punish you for your past deeds, it only makes you more vulnerable to drug abuse once again.

No

After you're done with school you might want to seek contact once again, or go the alternative road and forget her existence and find another love. It might sound really harsh, but love can really spice up someone's life.

Can you get traumas/ mental harm from internet gore?