A few days ago, I went to the doctor's office to get my strep throat looked at and get some antibiotics. All went well...

A few days ago, I went to the doctor's office to get my strep throat looked at and get some antibiotics. All went well... but I had a panic attack due to PTSD flashbacks while the nurse was taking my pulse.

She said:

>I've never seen someone's heart rate jump up that fast. You hit 130 from 90 in less than five seconds.

She told the doctor about it, and after the strep throat was covered, he asked if I had ever taken anything for my anxiety. I told him I still had the 5 klonopin I was prescribed for last year because I just can't bring myself to use them. He didn't ask why and just prescribed me 30 more of them. Told me to take them whenever I feel something go wrong like with the nurse.

I don't think I can take them. I see to much wrong with them.

Are any of you familiar with this video? youtube.com/watch?v=_2e5ia9j0TA

That's exactly how I feel about the whole situation.

I'll take them, and then I'm not me anymore. Or, I'll take them for a prolonged period of time and something bad will happen.

I know for a fact they'll work. I just don't feel like I can bring myself to take them.

Any advice?

If the information helps, it's 0.5mg per pill, and one pill is all it takes to shut down an episode.

Other urls found in this thread:

chat.tripsit.me/
evenings.bandcamp.com/album/lately-lp
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Is it worth it not to use a drug that prevents something like that? Drugs often will make you something you normally aren't. Have you tried weed or alcohol? That's what they do, they influence your mind and behavior.

Just take that as much as you need man. And no I didn't watch that video I tried to skim it and it seems like nonsense or something I don't care to focus on.

>Have you tried weed or alcohol?

Never smoked weed in my life, and I'm a 22 year old that's never had a drop of alcohol.

The whole reason I have flashbacks is because of childhood trauma. My parents were both alcoholic drug addicts. There was a lot of abuse.

Abuse along the lines of cigarette burn marks still on my arms and gash shaped scars along my back.

I'm fucking terrified of drinking or weed, honestly.

you could also check out chat.tripsit.me/ if you have questions about drugs. I've used them when I've experimented with a couple things.

Maybe you could do some research about dosages and such and ask for smaller dose pills.

>and ask for smaller dose pills

0.5mg is the smallest possible dose unless I want to go with the child dose, which won't achieve the goal of stopping a panic attack or flashbacks.

Honestly being scared of drugs is a hassle. If this sort of thing becomes a serious problem for the reasons you've stated you could talk to a psychologist about your anxiety. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm pretty squeamish about putting stuff in my body but I don't have the level of anxiety about it that you seem to. Ideally you should try to overcome your anxiety enough to take the drug or to overcome it without them. With something as serious as you're dealing with I think popping 1 pill when you get a panic attack can't be too bad.

How often are the panic attacks?

oh. what's the child dose? if it's less than 0.25g then you could more finely tune your dose to find the minimum amount to stop the attacks

Op my advice is try one and decide if it's right for you

wait have you not even tried one? you can try one pill of a prescribed drug and as long as you don't forget your fears you don't have to try it again. Like if you're so scared of it becoming a problem, then try it once and never do it again, and there's nothing to be scared of. And if your fears aren't confirmed, then you can use them responsibly.

>How often are the panic attacks?

Three to five times a day. Real hard-core flashbacks are rare, though.

Panic attacks happen whenever I get kinda worried about something.

Let's say I'm sitting at my computer and I start thinking about a conversation I had during the day. Normally a bad idea.

I'll start over-analyzing everything I or they said and start worrying if I handled it correctly.

Then, my heart rate goes up slightly. Then I feel my heart beat, then I panic a little bit and horry if I'm having a heart attack, then I realize it's not a god damned heart attack and my fucking brain is dicking with me again, then I start trying to ride out the adrenalin rush of the panic attack and stop my legs from shaking to much.

Hard-core falshbacks pop up randomlly maybe once a month and involve me actually blacking out for a few seconds and re-living some really fucked up shit. For example, the time my mom attacked me with a dirty meth needle and stabbed me in the back five times. When I black out, I feel everything all over again. It's like it's happening in real time, but the fear of that event amplifies the pain ten fold.

>oh. what's the child dose?

By what I've read, 0.25mg is the child dose.

I've taken three. Two from last year's prescribed five due to flashbacks popping up back-to-back, and one two nights ago.

I can honestly say I felt something diffrent. No fear "Went away" but it was like it didn't bother me anymore.

Like, picture yourself looking at a painting filled with colors. The yellow is fucking blinding. It bothers you so much that you just want it to go away.

So, someone gives you a button to hit whenever the yellow gets to be to much for you.

You hit it, and you feel ten times better.

But... while it made the yellow go away, now you're just seeing a blank painting. The blinding yellow is gone, but you miss the reds and blues.

jesus man. I'm sorry you have to go through all that. You really should talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about all that anxiety you ahve. Do some research about the kinds of drugs you're scared of and decide for yourself if you want to use them. Dissasociatives like weed and alcohol are not the same thing as benzos.

I have had a lot of anxiety floating around me sometimes and it's really nothing to take lightly. You're mentally ill and you need to find some form of treatment, whether chemical or other types of therapy.

No but really do some research about the sorts of treatment out there for anxiety, it's really comforting to learn about to me.

yeah if you really have it happen so often and you don't enjoy the pills then get some therapy imo. You're obviously self aware about it but if you really have the motivation to fix it, then therapy will give you to the tools to control yourself.

>You're mentally ill

I know, and it scares the hell out of me.

What if I just break one day and can't take it anymore? What if I do some really fucked up shit during a blackout? What if I just stay in blackout-mode for like a full day or something? What if I actually do have a heart attack one day because of a blackout?

>You're obviously self aware about it

Yeah. It's been like this for the past (I'm going to say) five years. Ever since I moved out and got away from my parents, I've always been like this.

The funny thing is, I'm not even depressed or anything. I have a girlfriend, I play video games, I've got a few shows I like to watch, and I have a job. I'm doing pretty good for myself.

I'm just so afraid of fucking everything up and losing to this fucking fear.

I don't know enough about you to give you advice beyond: talk to a psychologist. You're not going to get results if you don't do something. Talk to your girlfriend about it if you think it will help. If this is your only major problem in life, then that's all that's standing in your way. Don't let things stand in your way.

>Don't let things stand in your way.

Holy shit.

This is exactly what I needed to hear.

also if something in particular triggers your anxiety like seeing something related to your parents, take the steps to keep it away from you. That's a temporary solution anyways.

:)

Nah. I don't really have any triggers. At least, I don't know of any and I've never come across them.

Hell, I still have the teddy bear I was given at birth and that things is comforting. I still sleep with it on bad nights.

I will say I'm afraid of the dark and really loud storms, so I have a really rough time with the power going out.

Nothing wrong with a grown man's teddy. Everyone has something like that.

Do not take them. They sever the connection to thoughts and emotions, possible body/soul if you believe that, but you lose connection to the "stream" of consciousness that flows through all life.

Want to reduce anxiety? Do more, think less. Exercise, practice breathing techniques, fix your diet (more red meat and saturated fats). Your goal to reduce cortisol levels naturally. Good luck and fuck these meds.

What the fuck kind of pseudo bullshit are you brainwashed with? Holy shit.

I may have a terrible fucking anxiety disorder, but at least I'm not fucking crazy. Holy shit.

I agree with the breathing techniques. Yeah op I know he's crazy but exercise and breathing techniques/mindfulness meditation can really help if you're persistent.

does having 3 pillow cases with anime girls count?

You are the one that is brainwashed, friend. That is exactly the type of reaction I'd expect from someone too deeply done. I know because I've been there and climbed my way out slowly. I used to be afraid of even moving the zipper on my backpack on the bus and now I run businesses.

You have PTSD? From fucking what?

I had a crazy bad trip on 500ug of acid, and 3 days on I'm in brain limbo and I'm not acting like a bitch.

Catch yourself on.

I mean, I own pic related.

It's not much, but I guess I can relate.

>You have PTSD? From fucking what?

See:

is that the drill that will pierce the heavens? I haven't seen that anime nor do i remember the name of it

Gurren Lagann

Your mum attacked you with a meth needle?
Injecting methamphetamine is not the normal thing to do, so I think you're just being an attention whore.

I know a lot about narcotics.
Pics of your scars and then I'll help you with your little anxiety problem

I'd also recommend the book "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business - Charles Duhigg" It explains that your anxiety is simply a habit. Just change the brain pattern to one more productive.

real men watch cute anime girls doing cute things. It makes you appreciate the beauty of life.

final year med student here.

if its PTSD, only cure is therapy.
klonopin just masks the symptoms but dosent really treat the underlying issue.

i would use them for attacks, but see a shrink as well.

PTSD cant be cured through drugs.

also they fuck you up real nice.

your memory will be messed up, and if you take just one pill, you'll have impaired cognition for the next few days. some elderly people are demented because they take it, not because of any actual organic disease.

are you on coke or something? how does that make him an attention whore? He went through something abnormal and traumatic and he's asking on an anonymous image board for help. He would be an attention whore if he posted on facebook about it constantly, but this is far from that.

To large burn marks on my right arm. Does this count?

You're a fucking idiot intravenous injection of methamphetamine is the second most common ROA right behind freebasing/vaporization.

>I know a lot about drugs
Kek

Nope. They could be anything.
Show me where you got supposedly stabbed.

>second most common
Okay, it's the second most common, right behind vaporization, which means it's not common at all.

People tend not to inject meth.

That was with needles, man. Plus, I was five.I don't think I have scars from that. Even if I did, the scar tissue would have gone away by now since it was so small.

>second most common ROA
>immediately calls bullshit
nigga do you have any sense of perspective. fuck off with your paranoia

Okay, I'll take your word for it.

So, you're on 500ug of clonazepam, and you're afraid of taking it?

Is that the only reason why you started this thread?

Yes they do you fuck. Roughly 35% of users administer intravenously. You can pretend to know as much as you want but I see it literally every fucking day. You might be able to bullshit these retards, but not me.

Okay, 35%, so the majority of meth users don't inject?

Okay, that's all I needed to hear.

>Is that the only reason why you started this thread?

That, plus the fact that it helps to talk about this kind of thing for me.

I kinda get worried when my girlfriend's out of the house, and she's a home health aide. She's gone for the night. I started to take one of my pills, but just either couldn't bring myself to do it, or didn't want to. I'm not actually sure.

Try CBD

You said people tend not to inject meth, and called bullshit on OP because he said his mother used intravenously. Quit the damage control and admit you're an unknowledgeable fuck who's spewing cancerous bile out of his anus. 35% is over 1/3 if you weren't aware, which is a substantial fucking chunk considering only 55% vaporize and 10% adminster via insufflation.

Well, clonazepam is an anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic drug, not familiar with it myself.

You should take it every day, in the morning, if you don't want to suffer later in the day.

It can also get you really fucking high if you take a shit tonne of them.

Don't listen to these retards that tell you to smoke weed, you have anxiety, and smoking cannabis will just make you tweak and have anxiety attacks like nothing normal.

Okay dude.
So, the majority vaporize methamphetamine then?
So, you're wrong?

What I'm scared of is shit like memory loss or lesser cognitive function.

I already can't divide in my head. I can't stand the thought of making THAT worse.

who told him to smoke weed? i asked him if he has and that's it lol

OP don't listen to this guy bullshitting this thread up. He sounds like when a friend of mine was on coke and had a load of paranoia and delusional superiority. Drugs, stupid, or trolling.

How stupid are you? I just said 55% administer via vaporization. You said people tend not to inject it which is absolute nonsense. Are you really this retarded? Keep the damage control up, its really making you look less fucked in the head, i promise.

IGNORE THIS.
you have PTSD not generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)

DO NOT DO THIS.

you should only take it when yuo have an attack, not all the time.

taking it all the time is a sure way to get addicted, suffer side effects and still not get any relief. eventually your body will tolerate it, and the PTSD attacks will come back

this is the worst advice ever.

also dont do weed. some people who have PTSD end up having anxiety attacks instead of the usual chill from weed.

Do you think the clonazepam will do that to you?
If will obviously dull your head a little, but that's an obvious price to pay if you don't want to experience being molested with a rusty butter knife again.

These guys are idiots OP.

I know what I'm talking about.

So, take clonazepam everyday and if you feel like it's not working bump the dosage up to 750ug.

Yeah I agree. Weed is really risky if you have anxiety problems. It can help with temporary anxiety but personally I've gotten really fucking anxious on it when I took too much.

fuck off troll

Not trolling. Quite the opposite, you are the troll.

>Do you think the clonazepam will do that to you?

Honestly? Logically, I'm betting it won't.

Emotionally, taking anything that fucks with my head makes me think shit like that's going to happen.

Hell no. Fuck you.

I'm going to be honest here. My parents were REALLY heavy on weed use. I'll probably never touch the stuff.

The weird thing is, I actually have no issue with it. I have no problem with someone getting it and using it for whatever, but I just can't be around it. The smell makes me gag.

evenings.bandcamp.com/album/lately-lp

Lo-Velo is my fav. The whole album is really nice and relaxing.

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I have a friend that you remind me of. God all of my friends have had anxiety problems it's no help for my own anxiety lol. Probably one of the primary causes or some other relation. But yeah the friend had parents that abused weed and booze and he was averse to both for a long time. He had a really nice boyfriend and graduated high school and now he's doing a lot better. I think he smokes weed on occasion now but I'd bet if he still had anxiety problems it wouldn't be a real option for him. This story had no substance but it's what I've been thinking of this whole thread so there.

Believe it or not, it's good to know that your friend is doing well. Make me feel like I can take care of this.

that's good. funnily enough I think he's kind of a dick now the way he kicks people out of his life but I can't fault him for it if he really needs to control things like that. I just can't stand his personality any more and it was kind of an excuse to stop being friends with him. Then again I have my own problems with cutting off other people. I just don't do it as cruelly. I'm cruel to myself. But hey I'm working on it, and I don't mind the loneliness as much as the laziness.

This is the biggest reason I dont want to take meds for any issues I may have. I dont want to not be me.
Also Night Mind is cool

I worry about this.

I was a pretty shit person right when I moved out of my parent's house. Always felt on the defencive. Always afraid someone was going to come after me if I let them get close.

Having trust issues is pretty common I think. If you're outgoing despite it and are self-aware then you can grow out of it I think. My friend got lucky with his boyfriend being so good to him lol. Then again he's also really fucking outgoing so he was probably bound to find someone like that.

As someone who has been annoyed by him, I don't speak for everyone but all I wanted was a "sorry" or a "I'm doing my best and I hope you're doing yours". I can't think of what else to say about that that isn't stupid but yeah.