ITT: Best walmart stories

ITT: Best walmart stories.

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youtube.com/watch?v=e7S1Pm_2N2k
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watched some guy go home with a cucumber or zucchini along with lube. Shit you not. Cashier was just as shocked as I was.

Funny part was that he didn't seem drunk or high at all.

I work the sporting goods.

>I need ammo.
Ok. What do you need?
>I dont know.
Ok... What is it that you shoot?
>I just bought it yesterday, I have no idea what it is really.
Then I really can't help you.
>Who is your manager?
I'll page her over.

...

The assistant manager comes over and gets complaint, pulls me to the back and tells me to go on my lunch.

I come back an hour later, and the customer is still there, furious beyond belief. Still wanting ammo.

Not Walmart but still relevant.

>be me
>working @ target
>flow team (come in early and unload truck, pack shelves)
>working late after opening one day
>around noon so normal amount of people
>unboxing captain america action figures
>mfw i'll never be manly enough to be a toy
>go to take something to next aisle over
>see a 30something obese white man with his pants pulled down
>squatting in the ready position
>turns slowly to face me
>mouths "i'm sorry" unaudibly
>his ass explodes
>shit splattering off the floor
>surrounding merchandise is unsellable
>another employee in the aisle i was in before asks if i fell down
>say no
>this guy pulls up his pants and just runs away
>mfw i'll probably be cleaning that

>Walmart stories
>Posts pic of an Asda

>ASDA
>Part of the Walmart family

Isn't Asda owned by Wall-mart or vice versa?

OP here. dunno what an asda is, but I'll take that. pic still relevant.

I work in produce

>DO YOU HAVE ANY SHALLOTS?
>Those are like onions, right?
>NO. SHALLOTS.
>Okay, I am new so I will go ask Other Girl.
>*Grunts loudly*
>Okay, shallots are right over here. Is this what you are looking for?
>I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SHALLOTS. THANK YOU

Pretty common dare/prank actually

pretty fuckin stupid either way though.

faggot, see this:

The fuck are you gonna get a gun you don't even know the name of let alone what cartridge it takes. Retail pisses me off

Just taking note of how easy it is for fucking stupid people to legally purchase something that's sole purpose is to kill...

I actually have a similar story.
>Be me
>Work in electronics department in Walmart
>Still fairly new at the time
>9pm hits
>Other coworker goes on break (leaving me by myself)
>I got this.jpeg
5 minutes later
>See a customer in the distance
>Walk over to him
>Notice there's shit all over the floor around him
>Pants are down and he's trying to speed walk to our bathroom
Not touching that
>Call maintenance
Turns out he had something medically wrong with his stomach or ass I don't remember. He just can't control when he shits

>posts picture of someone in petsmart

Working that department, 99.9% of the time, people know what they want. They just need help finding it or need it out of the case.

Unfortunately, there is always uncertainty.

*to destroy

> be me
> be in asda (britfag wallmart)
> just browsing
> old couple walk past
> they stare at me
> whatthefuck.png
> man turns to his wife
> "we forgot to buy faggots"
> tfw

Inverted ass?

lol and he takes it down. good call Sup Forumsro. good call.

Maybe they knew you went on Sup Forums

>walmart employee
>hour long lunch break
Calling bullshit.

priceless

If you are scheduled for a 7+ hour day, you get an hour break and two 15 breaks.

The Walmart near me gives the employees hour long lunches.

So in summary, you're retarded.

>shopping at walmart
>see guy he is really 10/10
>ask if he knows where I can find italian food
>he is italian 10/10
>explains how he is on a strict diet
>broccoli and chicken strict
>end up touching eachothers hand as we
reach for the same item.
>his wife turns up, new jersey skank
2/10 wife
>his 2/10 orange oompaloompa skank of a wife
ask who I am.
>it turns violent
>she throws a jar of pickes on the ground and starts talking with her hand up my face.
>she walks away and trips on the pickle juices
>well on the ground I start walking away
with my new 10/10 italian man.
>my new 10/10 have not spoken to her ever since

CHECKED

I work at a Walmart grocery only store. I'm scheduled for 9 hours, one hour of which is lunch, so you are the bullshit!

I hate my life.

My schedule from a few months back. Huh, hour breaks. Except for that one day where I didn't work long enough to get it.

Damn you guys are inefficient, here we have half an hour total, if you work less than 5.5 hours you're not even entitled to a lunch break. We do have much higher salaries though, so we have to use the work hours more efficiently.

Norwayfag here btw.

not walmart but fuck you
>work in shitty outlet store
>we sell the stock that's unsellable elsewhere
>get random crap delivered each day
>random crap just gets shoved on any shelf
>customer comes up to me
>"can you find me this shoe in a 5?"
>explain that we don't have an inventory, everything we sell is out on the floor
>"but could you just check in the back for me?"
>explain that i know we don't have that shoe in a 5
>"i'm gonna have to speak to your manager"
>cunt files a complaint against me for not being helpful

Walmart employees have such low salaries that it barely matters if they work or not.

Don't you guys have under 40-hour work weeks there?

I make $13 an hour and work full time. I'm not going to get rich but it's livable.

Quads speak truth

Quads confirm that

Are you a fag or femanon?

...

Not sure about the all of Walmart, but here in MN, starting wage is now $11/hr. Regardless of the position.

When I started, the position was offering $8/hr, the instead game me $10/hr. After the recent blanket pay raise, Im now doing $13/hr at 36 hours a week, part time.

Yep.

Yup, standard work week is 37.5 hours, we work shorter and more work intensive days to compensate for the high salaries.

It's a fagfemliaranon

Sounds like both. Pic unrelated. just for you to enjoy as it is the most relevant part of the female body.

u gay bro

>drive to walmart be with my friends
>go to the electronic part
>see like two 6 year olds playing on some game
>i walk to them and say isn't it past your bedtime?
>they just turn and look at me i walk away
>my friends are laughing
>as i was walking away i hear their mom yelling like i told you not to talk to strangers
>i bought like some food and something from electronics

>see 2/10 shitstained crooked teeth fat rascal moving fatass.
>follow him around throwing vegtables into his fatass cart.
>UHRrhrhrhRHHRHR he sounds as triples chin shakes.
>We decide to block the path of where he is moving with his fatomobile.
>HRuHUuuuuuRHURHURUHR he sounds.
>He charges and we move away just in the nick of time.
>fatrider slides and changes direction as he misses us.
>Charges yet again at us as we taunt him
>"What category is this again?"
>"any% weightloss run!"
>Fattits is out of breath for charging at us a third time
>Uh, uh, uhhh. he sounds as he opens a mountain dew and sips down half of a galon of it.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Lady comes in. Lays blanket down in the housewares Isle. Proceeds to shit on said blanket. Leaves purse and runs. Calls an hour later about her purse. Comes back in, leaves with the police.

>we work shorter and more work intensive days

So you work less, get paid more, but think you're somehow working harder than people in the U.S.? I thought you guys were supposed to be better educated than that. Like what, do you stack shelves more intensely? Run between aisle? I get scheduled for 9 hour work days, that's why I get an hour lunch, I'm still working more hours than you do and probably get paid less. I'd say we're the ones with more "intensive" days. Not to mention we have to deal with minorities and fatties.

Should have just sold him a bottle of BBs

Never tell customers the truth, customers are stupid. Go in the back and fuck around for a little while then go back out and tell them "sorry, we're all sold out and we're not getting it back in stock".

I've worked in retail for several years, one thing I've learned is that customers are usually quite daft. I lie to customers all the time to not waste more time than necessary on bullshit questions and requests. I'm described as "Very helpful and friendly" by most customers. :P

That's a shit story.

who is /b? never heard of this /b.

Those same people can buy knives and cars, too.

Terrifying world. There should be psychological tests before anyone is allowed to own anything that can be used to harm.

Here you'll get fired if you're not efficient. I've worked 9-10 hour days with half an hour lunch break, sometimes I barely have time for lunch at all.

>Thinks sole purpose of a car is to kill

Just taking note of what a smug little shit you are

Just sell them the casuall 9,22,12ga and tell them to return whatever doesn't fit

...

>Cannot be infringed

>more deaths from vehicle related accidents than firearm related accidents

Yet they kill more people.

Making them even more dangerous in theory, since their primary function isn't to kill and they still do, a lot more.

Excellent! Another gun debate.

You could say that in any one attack, a box cutter has been proven to be more lethal than any firearm.

They hand that shit out like candy at good ol' Wally World!

>accidents = hate crime
Shiggy

You make more, have universal healthcare, have all sorts of social safety nets to help you get educated, to attain housing, retirement, ect...yet you're assuming you're working so much harder?

Fuck off you arrogant cunt. You work less hours and get paid more, stop being a bitch about it. When we work 9-10 hour days that's on top of 40 hours.

Thinks sole purpose of knife is to kill
Don't you pick on knives motherfuckers
I have a collect worth more than the value of the average b tard's car.

FUCK I JUST WANTED TO HEAR ABOUT FUCKING WAL MART

I used to work at big lots. Did this all the time. Said the same thing if the item was too heavy and didn't have anyone to help. Told them to back back when we get our next shipment

>not going to the back and "looking " for 15 minutes
Wew, lad. Git gud

Yes, and I'm sure your CS:GO buddies think they look cool.

It fucking sucks and I hate myself for working there. Happy?

btards will argue on anything
prove me wrong

If you want to break it down, the graph compare death rates between the two. Of the firearm related, 21,000 or so are suicide. They would likely find other means to off themselves.

So in all actuality, we are looking at 12,000 legitimate firearm related deaths versus the 36,000 vehicular deaths.

Who said I think that the soul purpose of a knife is to kill?

Uhhh that's mud dumbass. He was probably sitting on the ground.

If i prove you wrong im actually argueing which proves you right.

>see land whale park in handicapped spot
>she proceeds to walk towards the entrance
>gets inside and gets on her fatmoville
>i tell her being fat is not a handicap and that she should walk instead and park furthest away from entrance.
>she rages
>i walk ways
>she tries to follow me on scooter
>gotawaysafely.jpg

I bet i can prove you wrong you worthless sack of shit!

>implying I play such a low quality game

probably picture of you Sup Forumsro. It's okay. shit happens.

pt 1/3

>gets a call from my wife and she asks me to please buy some milk for breakfast
>sure.jpg
>What she doesnt know is that I'm the bay harbor butcher.
>"She cannot know who I am I think to myself". >It would destroy not only her, but the kids too.
>As I am about to pay for the Milk the clerk greets me.
>"Hi Dexter Morgan."
>This is not true, has he found out my true identiy?
>next to the register there is a sales sing
>"50% Kinder Suprises
>My palms start to get sweaty as I reach for the Kinder Surpries as I am only suppose to buy Milk.

Only food chains get shit lunches

so are you also going to ignore the people in vehicular deaths that just killed themselves and no others?

>thinking this vague chart helps your argument

In summary: the US sucks dick

Fair point, How many of those are vehicular suicides? Not nearly anywhere as the 21,000 firearm suicides.

>Target
>pregnant woman approaches me
>Can you tell me where the hand soap is?
Yeah sure it's right down that aisle *points towards aisle*
>Its not there, we've already looked
Okay I'll take you over to their and point it out
>I told you its not here
I go down to the hand soap section and point out all of the hand soaps
>its not here
At this point I'm getting irritated so I ask her if there is a particular brand she is looking for
>"I'm looking for the foaming kind"
I point out the foaming hand soap that is in the same god damn section with the regular soaps
>THATS NOT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR shouting slowly like I am retarded or hard of hearing
LADY WHAT DO YOU WANT
>I'M LOOKING FOR THE REFILLS
I point out the giant refill bottles that are in the same fucking section at waist level
>...

Fuck i got 8 hrs shift for an extra hour of break.

I used to deal with this all the fucking time when I worked in an office supply store. We literally had no stock in the back whatsoever. (Only high end items like computers that had to be locked up.)

After a while, whenever someone repeatedly asked to check the back, I'd go into the break room, have a candy bar and chill for a few minutes. Then go back out and tell the customer we were out.

If I used the time to take a shit, I'd come out and tell the customer I called the nearby stores and they were out, too.

Repeat after me.
>The customer is always right.

>not asking yourself "how many people drive everyday compared to how many people own a gun?"

This is all irrelevant anyway because there is a difference between an accident and a hate crime. would you rather be a victim of a crime or an accident?

Pretty much. People in Norway actually get paid by the government to go on vacations. American's are lucky to be able to take 1-2 weeks off a year from work and a lot of the time you don't get paid time off.

Don't stores prosecute for public defecation? This isn't fucking India.

Kek

>and then you woke up

Customers are pretty much never right. The worst is when they keep repeating something wrong trying to make you agree with them. I just shrug, say "ok", and walk off at this point.

Fuck! I work 10 hour days and only get a half hour lunch and 2 10 minute breaks. Fuckin' Walmart and their decent scheduling. I'm showing that picture to my union rep.

retail/fast food in a nutshell

youtube.com/watch?v=e7S1Pm_2N2k

I actually did that once, by accident too.

The customer wanted 7mm. I accidentally grabbed a box of .17 Varmint. Neither of us caught it as I was checking him out. He came back not even 5 minutes later.

We eventually got the refund and got him the correct ammo. No idea how it happened, but it just did