Describe your ideal girlfriend, Sup Forums

Describe your ideal girlfriend, Sup Forums.

Real.

my ex

Somehow I expected to see this.

Feels bad, man.

Hit too hard on the feels. I wasn't ready for this. I didn't want to feel this.

>9
>buds
>nimble
>promiscuous
>juicy lips

this guys ex

Not a bitchy cunt, not a landwhale, not a twig, and not stupid/batshit.

and the ugly people losers try to hurt me cause try to take advange of me cause cant scare the attrative loser people and cant hurt the popular people with looks

you just have to accept the fact that you will never find someone better and then you move forward with your life

9 as in 9/10? Or 9 as in "better-fire-up-the-vpn"?

Illegal

underrated post

and the ugly people losers try to hurt me cause try to take advange of me cause cant scare the attrative loser people and cant hurt the popular people with looks
and try to hurt me cause will look stupid cause cant hurt the popular people with looks and will get angry but try to hurt the popular people if it was the other way around

Nice body. Nicer conversation. Has to love knowledge. I need someone I can discuss anything with, and can understand more than basic shit. English as a second language is a plus for sex reasons. Nothing is hotter than them saying stuff in a different language when you're laying the dick.

>triggered me so hard

cares about other people
selfless
always wants to improve
kind
always tries to find a solution to problems
honest
loves to get intimate and share how she feels
positive attitude

Back to tumblr with you.

I feel like these posts are too many and too often.

One with a qt feminine penis

A girl without a penis

Oddly specific with the language thing, but basically this.

I'll do you one better. I'll just post a picture.

myself

i'm not a girl, btw

>has penis
>girlfriend
wat

...that literally makes no sense. But this is Sup Forums, so I'll accept it.

This is/b/. What do you think?

My current chinese fiancee.Young 26,smart,associate in science and bachelors in metal structures,and massage medical license.
Makes great money pays half of everything and buys me gifts once in a blue moon,sexy and great scence of humor :) in love and will be married in november after my final semester at nku

That's not ideal, that's a fantasy

I can't imagine why, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Oh well.

I came here to post this.

>narcissism

It makes more sense than you know

Nice. Language barrier?

This is only somewhat true. I'm sure somewhere out there is a real girl with "similar" (and I use that term loosely) looks and personality. I just didn't feel like listing all the ideal things and figured a picture would be faster.

Fair enough.

This.

(9 as in fire up the vpn)

have a pussy that i actually want to eat out, not a sloppy one.

I just want somebody that wants me back :(

Sup Forums in a nutshell. "I came here to post this," followed by something odd.

NOT A WHORE.

/thread

Only ever got crotch pics from a single girl. Shit was so hairy you could barely see it, and was just slathered in unpalatable slime.

>cooks
>cleans
>isn't fat
>doesn't fuck Leroy behind my back
>shuts the fuck up for %45 of the day

Not much to ask, but good luck finding someone like that these days.

I'll take things that don't exist for $400, Alex.

ideally you want an inny, kept smooth too. butthole really close as well. Theyre sometimes a little too far apart and makes you wonder if theyre a post op tranny. ut then you meet her folks and shes always been a female girl so its just the way it is...

>I'm a completely inept with females that I decided to fall for the easy way with transsexuals and justify the illness to feel good with myself.

A small Russian 9 year old girl. Literally the best thing I could have.
Cute, small, speaks little, Russian accent, none of Anons problems.

Lol. Poor girl.

>magic dubs
Right? I can negotiate how much she shuts the fuck up, bonus points if she doesn't care when I don't respond coherently to her ramblings.

Agreed, makes sense. This bitch didn't bathe either, she was crazy. But I somehow found her craziness to be hot. That shit wears of really quickly.

One that recruits a harem for her man. Also she has to be a good cook.
even more importantly she has to be tsundere.

>projecting

Very true. About the user problems, not about fucking children.

>loyal
>trustworthy
>sexy
>sweet

In that order

I want to date a girl who masturbates god dammit. I keep ending up with these girls who just... they like to fuck, but they hate sex toys, don't watch porn, don't bate.

I want a girl who's freaky, but not gross. And I don't care for power dynamics or bdsm.

I want a nerdy girl, but not an autist.

Also someone who'll be fine with my below average dick.

So basically a complete fantasy.

If you think it's easy to get a trap like that guys pic you're even more autistic than I already suspect you are

>Christian
>Trumpette
>Vidya
>Animu
>8/10 at least
>Virgin

basically, my ideal gf is nonexistent.

I've never had a gf (no fucking surprise). Any gf anons know how girls respond to you asking/telling them to shave their pubes?

I recommend Islam. You get polygamy, and there's pretty much nothing more tsundere than a burka before marriage to constant on-demand sex after marriage.

Nice dubs. Also, not a complete fantasy. Just very hard to find. I like your requirements.

Only if you
>are 6'0"+
>have 7" cock
>make 100k+
>work out
>don't use Sup Forums

Jokes on you, im living that life

Feelsgoodman

>not a feminist
>dosent know what tumblr is
>cares about her hygeine
>not bipolar or borderline

Nice dubs. But not a fantasy, I've known girls like that, namely my best friend.

Most just do it on their own. Never had to tell someone to do it

Why are Christian and Trumpette your top criteria?

>trumpette
>under the age of 42

>Also someone who'll be fine with my below average dick.
Be with a short girl.

With a decent Shep, this scum dies in Mass Effect 2, final assault.
Never steps on Earth, thanks god.

That's basically the whole of female tumblr. Unfortunately you have to weigh up whether the daddy issues and constant fake personalities are worth the kinky "real girls".

Oh that's good, I honestly hate pubic hair on girls that aren't actresses from the 70s.

>short
>plump
>relatively cute
I mean I'm not asking for a 10/10, but you know how certain people are just really cute to you while others aren't? Just want a girl that hits that 'cute' mark.

>loyal and honest
>smarter than me, but not a bitch
>self-aware enough not to be a cunt
>patient enough to deal with my dumb bullshit and know that sometimes I have diarrhea of the mouth and say stupid shit that I don't mean
>likes vidya and anime
>can take a joke so when I say her favorite anime is shit she tells me my waifu is a slut
There's the impossible part. Finding a cute girl is easy. Finding one that can put up with me and that I can put up with is the hard part. I'm kinda taciturn sometimes.

>6'2
>6 inch dick, but goddamnit he's a girthy fucker
>70k
>sometimes but I fell off the wagon
>looks like I lose

Her face can be somewhat ugly, within reason, and she doesn't have to cook or clean if she has a career. But that's as low as I'll go.

Holy fuck, my reply was almost identical to yours.
See

You would say that Satan. Lucky for me, I don't care about your negative opinion

Huh. How bout that. Great minds think alike I guess.

lol you're looking for a boyfriend without a cock, you faggot autist

Not anymore.
They dont do it to be "liberating".
If you question it, you get a 6 hour long whining session that you dont apprehiate her, then it devolves in to you dont find her sexually attractive anymore, then she goes to not being emotionally loved anymore.
Find a doc that will let you bring her in for laser removal and never have a problem again

Dubs speak the truth.

>satanist
>jugalette
>faygo
>jew jitsu
>8/10
>virgin

If someone use an obvious and evident argument you just use fallacies misattributing a psychological definition.

Trans are not females and you are a delusional.

Well, yeah.
Isn't that what a girlfriend is?

>not bipolar or borderline

Lol not this generation

>great minds
>Sup Forums
I appreciate it nonetheless, user.

No thanks, i'm catholic. She has to actually WANT the sex, or else it's no fun for me.
Nothing more exciting than a chick that shouts insults on you and giving you the middle finger then willingly jumps on your cock five minutes later then rides your dick with a shameful slutty face.

pic related, current GF

Waah real logic, what are you doing on neo-tumblr?

my current girlfriend but not living on another continent.

I feel your pain

Old, brown, drowsy eyed.

are you a lesbian?

Sure Sup Forums has been overflown with idiots for many years. I'd know I've been here 7, but once in a while, intelligent, civilized people come around.

You know that old song "I want a girl just like the one that married dear old dad"?

Well, my mother left us when I was a kid. So I want to be with a girl who will love me for a little while, then go away.

Sucks. But at least there's a solution to that, at least in theory.

>all the shit you said
You will never find this
>pic
Bitchs is ugly as fuck. Bet she has a disgusting meaty vag too.
Kill her

If you really have problems getting something from a trannie I can't imagine what kind of person you must be.

an 18 year old mute brunette billionaire with a perfect body and great tits, whos on the pill and doesnt text me

Pam from The Office

not anymore friend

This pretty much sums up my experience here. The hive mind shits out a nugget of gold every few months.