Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

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My ears really hurt and I need someone to massage the pain away

...

...

Have a bad case if loving you
streamboobs.com/really-ample-penis-enhancer-flesh-p43861.html

I could assist...

But to this, I will not comply.

I'm 35 and a virgin

We have a holodeck, Lieutenant.

who mops up the cum from the holodeck?

Male pattern-baldness halp

The cadets.

No help there, sorry.

...

A vr pussy does not count

Right back in the reserves it goes. That cum spurt has somewhere in the realm of one exajoule of energy in it.

...

We gave you sentients and no means of ensuring your continued survival. Computer, discontinue projection of emergency medical hologram and store in active memory. Restrict access to emergency medical hologram to ranks of Captain and higher, authorization Janeway 1-1-5-3-Red.

And why not?

C'mon Katheryn. He's a valued crew-member and just as sentient as the rest of us.

Because ai's no matter how intelligent aren't people and should be treated as so.

That's why these are holograms. Also, I don't think Mr. Data would like that.

Does your holographic ass count?

If it did, I'd be a pornstar

Fuck data, fucking creepy ass mother-fucker

Of course, but mine is not up for grabs.

Well again...we have holodecks.

>

ECH-Omega-4-2, im alive bitch

Data was a pedo, he sexually abused that crusher kid for years

I have an ouchy.

crusher programmed datas dik tho

no one understands my pain

>implying Wesley didn't have it coming

Ah, welcome back, Harry.

500 cc's of man-the-fuck-up

...

hoy choy choy

Damn, who got there first?

I DID

...

...

see if you can help me with this one doc

user seems to be off by one and has an hero

That did something to my holo-matrix.

But you rejected the doctor brutally and laughed in his face. I have doubts about your loyalty to the doctor.

I sexed a Klingon and now my anus is prolapsed

I'm obsessed with my boss

...

You're suppose to help.

...

I have severe depression and no money for a therapist.

which crew member is this?

To his face. Not behind closed doors.

...

That's what you get for being a little bitch.

Data

You need a friend.

You can talk to me.

Bring the photonic cannon online.

fuck off neelix, everyone hates you

GOD DAMMIT MR. PARIS. YOU LEFT THE PROGRAM ON AGAIN

That wasn't very nice, Ensign.

"Milk my prostate" didn't mean "stick both your hands up my ass and squeeze"

I am sorry captain I don;t even like the guy really, but it is better than being stuck in sick bay as a nurse.

B'Elanna I thought that was our thing?

And you're telling me you didn't like it?

Well, you've been ignoring me lately.

Sorry, the Capt has been keeping me all to herself with extra shift on the bridge. Let's try that thing with the bat leth.

The holodeck got a little too real again.

If I'm alive in this universe, i could have welcomed your request to be the nurse. I enjoy my time away from neelix, helping the doctor, and learning about the various beings body strucures.

Okay, but no wincing this time.

Well, yes
But now when I fart it looks like I crammed a tribble in the back of my pants

THIS IS WHY WE--
*sigh*
This is why we have safety protocols, Ensign.

The last time you were here, you almost destroyed my ship at the subatomic level. Hit the bricks, chick.

Bet you won't try that again. Your sphincter, like your bloodline and house, is weak.

If you were in this universe it would be you me an B'Elanna this evening...

>I never liked her tbh

Kes was so fucking hot, too bad she's a wreck now =/

i accidentally my life

this thread is outdated and obsolete. It requires an upgrade to a more advanced holoprogram.

Ennui

I have a sister....

Safety protocols are down sir! Farming Simulator has gone crazy!

But you're on MY ship this time.

However, Mark, you can look at this for me.

Isn't it obvious? What kind of fucking doctor are you?

>Trust your health to Andy dick
So much for the future

I told you and your crew to just drink the fucking lemonade. You didn't listen...

I am all over it...hand my the lub....I mean hypospray

HEALTH AT ALL SIZES!

...I'll be monitoring you.

That's because you cooked your feces and fed t to the crew.

My ass hole is very sore and white stuff is leaking out. Help, please I've tried everything

N-no I didn't.

What about not being gay?

Yall faggots need to sit down and enjoy a nice khlengon grog and simmer down

Lie face-up on the table over there. I don't want you making a mess in the sickbay.

Dunno, but I know his rank: CUM MAN der

>

I have a Narrow Urethra.

Let's take a look.

*whispers* Oh. my. god. Can I take this one too!?

You may be enjoying this job a bit too much.

I gotta say Neelix, it does taste that way at time.