That kid thread

That kid thread
>That kid who owned the ball so chose the best players for his team
>That fat kid who always played goalie
>That kid who thought he was a Ronaldo and constantly went for the skills
>That kid who just stood upfront looking for tap ins
>That kid who wanted to dribble his way to goal from one end to the other
>That pace whore kid

>Tfw too autistic to play anything as a kid

>Not being the tall kid who played centre back but was also the pacebabby
Step it up.

>>That fat kid who always played goalie
Hi.

I was always the goalie even tho I wasnt fat. I liked saving shots and shit

>that kid who stepped into a broken beer bottle and sliced up his foot and everything becomes a blurr of crying, blood and other kids trying to bandage him with chewing gum wrapper
That was the moment when I always went home to play snes.

>that one kid who was always raging and yelling at everyone but played like complete shit.

Are we doing sports injuries now?

Does slipping while climbing over a 12 foot spiked fence and impaling my chest with the spike count as a sports injury if the fence was around a football pitch I was trying to get into?

>>That kid who just stood upfront looking for tap ins

yep, pretty much me

Was this pitch in a prison or something?

>that kid who only shin checked in field hockey
>that kid who always punched as hard as he could when you were supposed to be sparring and working on technique
>that fucking kid who kicked your ball down the blacktop in knockout
>that kid who tied his flag in flag football
the last one was me

>That kid who brought his sisters softball bat
What did he mean by this?

It's a school playground. Consisted of a full sized pitch, 100m of track down the side of the pitch and then a big standard playground area below the pitch.

>That kid who always kicked you in the shins not because he was a dick but because he was shit and didn't know how to tackle the ball.

He learned fast not to do that.

they play football in america ?

>That one kid who thought he was a playing manager

>That kid who always screamed the name of some Real Madrid attacker when he scored
>That kid who always screamed Buffon everytime he prevented a goal
They both were russian

>That kid who told his parents when you fouled them and they told your parents

>That one kid who didn't have a gf

>That aggressive smackdown vs raw fat fuck in defense

>americans
>playing soccer willingly.

you must have been too shit at real sports and had to play povertyball instead.

That was me

>that kid who always was Mr. Irrelevant when drawing teams

literally every child in america plays soccer. i have no idea where this meme comes from

>that kid who would yell at you if you were too good

> that kid who got mad you hit a ground rule homer by his shitty ground rules

god damnit, marcus. if you don't want me to hit it to the other field's dirt, don't throw me the same fucking pitch over and over again

>that kid that went for the ball with autistic motivation
Hello

>That pace whore kid

That be me

Also

>that skinny guy who played very good but was worthless because he was all the time in the ground.

>that kid who quit the team because he couldn't win

>That kid who was too scared to catch pop flies

>that kid who lose get mad and take his ball home with him
>that kid who always push the other kids
>the super tall guy in the goal

>that fat kid who ended up being the best player

>Those fucking kids that never came to play for your team and thus made always play undermanned making the team lose 5000-1

Fucking why

> yfw this kid was the same one who picked grass in the outfield, weighed 150 lbs. in elementary school, and only played because his redneck nascar-american father wanted to live out his idle fantasies

>that kid who would miss the ball on purpose to kick the opponents

>that kid playing goalie that in goal kicks could never ever raise the ball up off the ground more than a few inches and could never get it past midfield so all the goal kicks had to be taken by a defender that was equally shit at it

Some kid fell on a metal propeller shard from some model plane. Cut him up good.

> the tiny kid who always got knocked over by running into bigger kids from the other team while trying to get the ball
Reporting.

>that kid who thought he was Allen Iverson and did terrible crossovers and lost the ball every possession

Every kid because it was simple to play. As they grow up they move on to other sports.

Football, soccer, and basketball, and kickball are the quintessential playground sports. Hockey and Baseball require too much equipment.

> the tiny white kid who thought he was black and talked like a hoodrat to try and impress people

why are you so shit then mate?

>that kid who always showed up in full official gear

because most of the kids move on from it

>that one kid who never passes the ball
fucking hate ballhogs

Soccer in America is seen as a sport for women and children, like field hockey.

>that kid whose father thought he was the mánager and yelled at every other kid, making him hated among his team mates

people grow out of it. real football is better

Stfu. You just wanted to be able to pick your boogers in peace

Well I guess they would at least beat your joke of a national team at the moment lad.

>that kid that ate too much before baseball practice and shit his pants in the outfield
His dad picked him up and made him ride home in the back of the truck. Thanks for the keks martin

One of my classmates in primary school had a father who was almost like that, except he would yell only at his own son during the entire match.
- Run FAST! You have to be FASTER!
- HEAD! Use your HEAD!
- Dribble now! C'MON!
It was entertaining at first, then it got annoying.

most of us stop playing around 10 or so. the perception is that it's a child's game

>that kid who only played well when there were no crowds to watch him

you guys don't have baseball dads (or baseball moms)...you don't know annoying

>that kid that only knew how to control the ball and pass

I hate playing with my friends because my skill becomes shit when my teammates are shit.

yeah, I know that feeling, since that kid was me.

I want to believe that was the reason I was never invited to parties of my football mates, or didnt had any football friend to that matter

Greentext your story then lad

there are four million of them. anybody who played knothole past U11 has ptsd from baseball dads. wouldn't want to cause any suicides in here

>that kid who intentionally hit batters when pitching

never got ejected
don't crowd the fucking plate

> that kid who thought major league principles applied to fucking knothole

there's a reason nobody came to your fucking sleepovers, jeremy

casual detected

>that kid that did a diving header on concrete around the other kids and got 8 boots to the face

that kid was me

>that kid that was captured by the local priest and came back with a troubled face after a couple of hours

>The kid who would join his first league at 15+ years old, after everyone else had been playing for many years

Always wondered what the fuck motivated someone to join a league when everyone else was miles beyond them. This was the worst in hockey when you had an 18 year old who could barely skate, let alone shoot.

>that teacher who wouldn't let us say the words "Smear the Queer" but still let us play it.

>That kid that everyone acknowledged was shit but decided that he's super good at side throws so he had to always throw every one of them

can you feel my pain?

>that asshole that knifed the ball if it landed on their lawn (or broke their window)
>that dog that would kill the ball if it landed within bite distance

That was me and all the other white people

Difference between me and them was they stopped playing because bullying and they were weak ass Bitches, while I got taller and kept doing kicking them in the ankles

Life of a defensive midfielder call me Roy fucking Keane

>That kid who told his parents when you fouled them and they told your parents

worst kind

>that kid who thought he was hot shit but had to handball it to beat you
>then makes fun of you for claiming it was a handball
>game continues

>That fat kid who always played goalie

That was me even before I got fat as a preteen.

What formation did you play with lads?
What role?

>that kid that was shit at handling the ball, thus the eternal aggressive defender / goalie / cockblocker

Anyone else was really good at his sport when young?
I started football at 7 and carried my team in every club. From age 10 onward my parents stopped moving around the country so I sticked to one club, coach moved me to defense because I could defend and still run the field to score. I was a little cocky shit and just dribble & run the whole way alone, at some point he made me ask for permission to score.
I got tired of it eventually, at 13 we had this "big" local tournament, in the finals he said I didn't have to ask anymore, so I scored 3. I was allowed to keep the team's cup for 3 week at home, but I never returned to the club, still have the cup to this day.
Those were the days

not true in the slightest. you must live in Seattle or something. here in the northeast kids play baseball and basketball.

>that kid who forgot to wash out the smegma on penis inspection day

(it was me ;_;)

>That kid who thought he was a Ronaldo and constantly went for the skills
>That kid who wanted to dribble his way to goal from one end to the other
>That pace whore kid
These three were all in one kid: pacewhoring from his own door to the penalty area, meets an actual defender, tries dribble, ball stolen easy as fuck. He did it all the fucking time. Every fucking time.
>Ilario
More like hilarious.

Nice brokovski. Same here. With the exact same thing I became top scorer at four of the eight school tournaments I played.
Only a few guys saw how shit I was and all the normies thought I was talented. My best friend was actually a decent winger and just used to put the ball on my head or foot to tap it in. Thank God there was no offside!


> Mfw other classes went "fuck its 9c in the quarters! No way we can beat them with that guy in front!"

>that kid who tried to make legit tactics for his team but everyone ignored him

>all this soccer bullshit

let's talk REAL schoolyard sports, like kickball
>that kid who always insisted that he get another pitch because "it was too bouncy"
>that kid who always kicked sky-high pop-ups because he thought hitting with the top of your foot straight-on was the right way to kick it
>that kid who always "bunted" by tapping to the left
>that kid who thought his arm was so strong that he could nail kids trying to score from the outfield (raises hand)
>that fat kid who always kicked infield grounders and couldn't get halfway to first before he was out
>that kid who INSISTED on throwing fastballs at runners and always hit them in the head/boobs/ass (yeah, girls played at our school, too)
>tfw we couldn't find the playground ball so we had to use a shitty soccer ball instead

>9c
that's where they put all the catholics at my school

goalie. fat fuck here

>that fat kid who was too out of shape and lazy to run around but had fucking perfect feet and would pinpoint laser passes str8 to your foot anywhere on the field and shoot free kicks like fucking Juninho
mfw he actually got his shit together got into a national youth league team
mfw he had a bike accident and he wrecked both legs and a hand

where the fuck are you from?
i'm mid-atlantic and only the athletic girls play soccer. athletic guys tend to play either baseball or football. athletic black people play basketball.

also, wall-ball/butts-up

>that kid who always stayed close to the wall to intercept people's throws and get them out
>that kid who always pegged the girls in the ass
>that kid who "accidentally" dropped the ball so he could show off his speed (points to self)
>that kid that constantly threw it on the roof and so we'd ask the janitor to get it and the bastard never would

good times though

And sucked

> That poor kid that had to make up stories about his boots (brothers championship gear from 1999) because he didn't want the others to know that they were from a thrift shop

me :(

Not around here. Where u from, brudi?


Süddeutschland hier

>that kid who calls for a golden goal when the other team is behind and its getting dark

berlin
did they put all protestants in one class where you're from?

Nah.
We were always quite mixed

i think they did it because catholics got a couple more public holidays than the rest of the students

>that kid who got knocked the fuck out by a head clash

Happened on a Tuesday afternoon, I have no memory of anything between Sunday night and Wednesday morning.

Fucking hell this was me. Short passes all game if I was in goal.

>that kid who was shit but refused to be the gk
>that kid thinking he was zidane but failed every trick
>that kid who kicked everyone who tried a trick on him

I was that last one tbqh kek

>that kid who lacked any discernible but had a legitimate rocket of a left foot

We used to hide him at defensive midfielder and play for cheeky frees all game. No one wanted to be in the wall.

>that kid that would injure his teammates if they didn't pass the ball to him

Fuck you Jelle, fucking cunt, couldn't play for 3 months.

>that kid that would never retrieve the ball after shooting it wide
>that kid that would never admit his defeat in a game where the loser has to stand in goal bent over backwards and the rest can shoot at his ass (is this a thing outside Netherlands?)
>that tall kid that was shit at headers

last one was me

>(is this a thing outside Netherlands?)
yes

>That kid who would destroy all the snowmen and snow sculptures at the end of the school day

Oh wait..

>that kid who got in my way