CRACKHEAD THREAD

CRACKHEAD THREAD
CONT
last one hit the bump limit and i need gas station guy screencaps
dumping what I have

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Get in here fags

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Anyone cap the gas station guy before the thread 404'd?

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Cinema guy here
keep the crackhead tales rollin'
I have non-crackhead and non-cinema related stories I could tell if people are interested

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I've got it still open, which story is that?

Yup posting

I just realized that I never watched The Neverending Story all the way through. Something always came up as a kid. It really never ended for me...

The fuck

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This one?

The one where a crackhead fucks a cigarette packed and a tard gets pinned by a shelf

thats it right?

Please do

Or this one?

Fucking legend, thanks user

these are too fucking good.

If you remember any more you'd like capped, just ask me, the tab's still open and I'll be back after having my smoke.

Okay so these aren't cinema or crackhead related but niggers are saying I can tell stories so I'll spin you another

>be me
>way back, maybe around 12/13
>still not really cooking for myself, mum does most of it other than little snacks I might make
>mum is out
>don't fancy pizza or anythng TOO basic
>decide I'll make myself some fucking friend egg on toast
>at 12 years old putting oil in a pan and fucking cracking an egg
>I thought I was Gordon Ramsey
>season it with salt and pepper
>toast that bread
>itsallcomingtogethernow.rar
>eggs are pretty much perfect
>get it all on the plate
>never felt so domestically gifted at this point, probably my greatest culinary acheivement at this point
>take it into my bedroom and put it on my desk
>too close to the edge
>does a perfect flip and lands face down on the floor
>stare at it for maybe 20 seconds
>mfw

tears of laughter as I'm typing this, I will literally never forget it

>friend egg

fucking fried egg ffs although friend egg sounds better

Way better than just bumping with "bump".

>be me
>working in restaurant
>making friend egg and bacon breakfast sandwiches
>think hey i'm pretty good at this
>fucking succeeded at the first 3
>fucking dropped one
>failure.jpg
>no joke
>fried egg on the kitchen floor
>dirty as fuck
>picked it up and served it

There's always one slimy cunt

That's actually kind of sad. I've always pitied socially awkward and boring people, it must hurt a lot knowing you're not fun or interesting enough to have a good time with people.

lots of friend eggs in this thread today

>friend egg
but seriously how do you drop a fucking egg on the floor? I fry eggs all the time because they're like 59 cents for a dozen round here right now and I've never managed to drop one on the floor...

>It really never ended for me...
kek
Don't change this, it's kind of beautiful to know this is a thing somewhere int he world.

on the wag from the flat top to the bun on the counter behind me.

this kitchen was fucked i wouldn't even eat the food the staff made

I'm from 'Merica and I have no idea what a wag or a flat top is.

Cinema guy here typing up another story if people are here? If not I'll make a new thread

type here pls

Still lurking m8

I'm here bub!

Lurking here

lol way*

flat top is just a big stove with a flat top?? idk

we out here!

Not a crackhead story but some weird stuff that happened to me in my times as a pizza delivery guy

>be me, 18, about to deliver pizza in my opel corsa B
>supervisor gives me the paper sheet with address and gives me a weird smile
>I'm new so I figure she's being friendly
>she wasn't
>found out that guy was known to be weird
>drive
>ring the door - no bell sounds
>knock
>hear a woman shouting inside
>man shouting back
>man opens door
>fat guy wearing only boxers
>that'll be 17.89
>gives me 20
>thanks
>click - door fell close behind him
>he turns around and knocks
>woman doesn't answer
>he shouts
>woman doesn't answer
>"Is everything okay?"
>"Yea, she does that sometimes. My mom lives two streets away, she's got a key."
>"Well, at least you're going to get in eventually."
>"Yea. Mind to give me a ride?"
>He convinced me to drive him there, I like helping and he looked like he could need help. It was on my way back to the store anyways
>Arrive at his mom's
>he gets out of the car, approaches the door and turns around facing me
>doesn't know
>doesn't ring
>sits down on the floor and starts munching the pizza

I'm just a random fuck, but might as well make this into a general stories thread

>be me
>like 11
>at friend's house
>he has a trampoline in his back yard
>it's raining, we decide to race to the trampoline
>he's winning
>I pull forward at the last second by sliding on the mud into first
>I slide ear-first into a bolt sticking out of the trampoline
>bolt goes in and out
>clean piercing hole right in the side of my ear
I received no medical help

Cinema guy here again
Tale from an older job

>be working part time in a shitty little italian restaurant run by persians
>a couple of weeks into the job, befriend coworker, we'll call him M
>M smokes weed, I had recently started weed
>I was maybe 17 or 18 at this point
>We quickly become friends, we start going back to his and blazing after work
>He's like one stop down from the manager, he's been there ages so when the manager isn't there which is kind of often, he is in charge, but he doesn't give a fuck and the place is dead quite often
>we start going into work high and trying to make each other laugh
>time passes, all is well
>I discover darknet
>start experiementing
>get some ketamine, it's fucking awesome, I enjoy it a lot
>round at his one night after work, there are two other guys there who I barely know
>one of them we will call "skeletor" and the other we will call "bumble brutus"
>skeletor is one missed meal away from perishing
>bumble brutus is one IQ point away from being institutionalised, chubby, and possibly has tard strength
>they really are a fucking pair
>I offer them all some ketamine
>skeletor gets straight on it like the future crackhead he is
>nostril straight on the key
>whiffffffff
>tasty
>the guy loves it
>don't really hear much from him the rest of the night
>don't know why I introduced him into the story because that's where his part ends
>forget about skeletor

CONT

CONT

>bumble brutus up next
>uuuuuuuuhhhhmmmmmmm no thankyou I don't think I would like it
>whatever chubtard not gonna pursuade you I don't wanna give you my ketamine anyway
>M takes some pursuading but I really want him to get ketty with me
>he ends up having a medium sized key
>sits with us for maybe 10 minutes playing xbox
>he gets up to go get a drink
>he's in the kitchen for maybe 15 minutes
>comes back into the room and just sort of hovers near the doorway
>I assume he's just watching the TV for a minute or something
>after a good 5 minutes of him just stood there I look up at him
>he's not watching the TV
>he has this horrified confused look on his face and is just sort of scanning the room with his eyes
>"whoa are you alright mate"
>his eyes suddenly lock right onto mine
>.....
>"I can't figure out where to sit down" he wimpers
>there are at least 3 perfectly suitable, perfetly visible spots to sit down within 5 feet of him
>I'm like haha dude just sit down all will be well, watch bumble brutus be shit at this game
>he just zones out and wanders up the stairs
>comes down like an hour and a half later
>"that was the worst experience of my life"

I love ketamine

For your op
streamboobs.com