Help Sup Forumsros, I ordered a buttplug and I've never done anything anal before...

help Sup Forumsros, I ordered a buttplug and I've never done anything anal before. I don't have a douche or any enema kit, is there a way to clean my asshole before play? What if I pull a buttplug out and it smells like poop? Every time I finger my butthole in the shower it smells like poop, what am I doing wrong? I don't want an infection or poopy fingers.

you have to clean it off immediately by putting it in your pussy. enzymes in the vagina kill all prevalent bacteria.

I'm actually wondering too. I don't like letting my boyfriend do anal because I don't want him to have a poppy dick. Lurking.

..also when I put my finger in my butt I feel poop halfway in. Halp.

Yeah, I was thinking that, right after giving myself a bleach enema

have you considered that the poop is there because it's your fucking asshole?

That will give you an infection

lol OP is clearly a man (and also a faggot)

pls ignore this, this is an easy way to get an infection

just take a big shit. you might get a little poop but whatever.

OP here i'm not retarded, yes I'm a faggot, but that's besides the point. Someone told me if I take a shit, and 2 hours later I go into the bathtub and put water in my asshole and shit it out into the toilet, it helps. Is this true?

just fuck your ass till you shit

im gonna give you a pro tip here from the industry

1) take an empty water bottle, preferably the shitty multipack kind with thin plastic for easier compression
2) fill it up with warm water
3)hold to sphincter and squeeze
4)???
5) profit

practice in the shower if you want to avoid a mess

I'm about to buy one for my GF, im pretty sure she wants one but is too timid to outright ask

Thank you. but won't that just get shit water all over myself?

fill a bottle with water
push it in
you get the idea

what the fuck do you think it will smell like? what a dumbass

Empty yourself into the toilet.

Thats what an enema would do....

Okay, okay, so in this scenario I have shit water all over myself in the shower. How do I properly disinfect my shitty legs and feet? Is lots of soap enough?

dude wtf? why do u have some crazy phobia?unless u have open cuts all over yourself (sadly probably) then you're fine. Ever had norovirus? That's spread via fecal-oral transmission

I may or may not have a weird fear of poop. So I should be fine if i don't eat shit? Okay, got it

use lots of lube and go slow. it won't be as fun as you think at first but you can get used to it then it'll be really good

..so go for a shit.

...buy a cheap bidet gun

Buy a douche it's cheap and effective to clean your ass or go to /hm/ or /gif/ there might be a thread for you

Don't get it in a cut, don't eat with your hands unless you wash with anti bac and have extremely short nails (pref trimmed to the tip of finger)

eat mexican before tho so you're really empty

>find a spoon
>pray to God

omg just put it in your butt man. dont overthink it. your asshole isnt filled with pounds of pood shootring rapidly out of your ass once you touch your hole. just shove it in and see what happens.

also, if you are afraid of shit, why are you on Sup Forums?

I'm not scared of looking at shit, I'm scared that if I pull my buttplug out I'll shit all over my hand and die

Then just clean yourself afterwards you fucking idiot