You have one week to get $100,000 or your whole family gets slaughtered

>You have one week to get $100,000 or your whole family gets slaughtered

How would you do it?

>Implying I actually like my family

kidnap people and sell their organs

Why the edge though?

I'd hotline miami that bitch..

mortgage house.

Rob armored vehicles for bonds, then sell them on the street more than there value. Next hire a retired hacker to build computer boards that bypass security cameras. Jump in, get out. Maybe loses a few friends in the process. Skip bitches named Edie and fly to New Zealand

Rob a jewelry store, Melt the ore into ingots and pawn the gems. Jewelry stores are good because they are covered by insurance and its more often than not company policy to just give them the jewelry and not die because the store is covered by insurance.

Start a GoFundMe saying I'm a trans female to male and that I need $100,000 because a patriarchal pig is oppressing me.

Goal would be reached in less than an hour.

Ask my really rich friend. I can pretty much guarantee he'd loan me 100,000 so my family didn't die.

Also they aren't protected by the federal government, so the entire FBI won't come after like when you rob a bank. Just going to be regular cops looking into it.

i live in nz

>pawn

Pawn stores are required to report sales over a ridiculously low amount. There would be no way you could find a enough to sell to. They are the worst way to unload stolen goods.

Why does everyone in the Anglosphere wish they could live in your country?

Then sell it on ebay or some shit

What's "Edgy" about that?
Plenty of people justifiably dislike their family.
If you think that post was edgy, lurk moar.

Cash out 401k?

Yeah, and if you live in a shitty city like I do, the response time is like ages.

well. if you dont want to risk 15 year in jail for robbing bank or som shit...the best way to get cash fast is to find the biggest dealer in you city, take a Smg and some grades. i can get you like 10 rgd-5. the u kill all of his firends/subdealer, and him mom. then u take all his shit. or you can try blackmail... but thats what OP does

Simple, be a snitch and get the authorities to give me the money. Then get put in a nice safe house after my family has been saved.

>go to bank
>withdraw money

good plan.

Probably one of the two:
Sell some Bitcoins
Exercise some stock options/RSUs

Get a loan because I have good credit?

Probably try and rob a bank and then die because I'm a fucking idiot and am not very good at bank robbing.

call the cops am i a fucking idiot?

I worry about this. I live in the SW, where cartels do kidnap people - and they just start off by hacking off a hand and sending it to you. And you have no idea if they are just going to kill everyone or not.

If you go to the police, I don't think you can pay the money. That option is off the table.

start a cyberbully youtube channel

If you don't mind an uncool method, easiest way is to scope a rich neighborhood, ambush a family as they are coming home, hold the wife and kids hostage, tell the husband if he returns with police or doesn't return with the cash you'll kill his family then kill yourself. If you aren't a fool and don't demand too much, you will probably get it.

sell one rental unit

Take a bank Loan, easy.

Sell the deal to make a reality TV show called "I Have One Week to Get $100,000 Or My Whole Family Gets Slaughtered" for a couple mil.

Get an advance loan on the contract from a bank for a couple hundred though.

Pay off the kidnappers before the cameras even roll, but put my family up in an undisclosed location.

Rat on the producers for aiding and abetting kidnappers to the feds.

Collect on my contract before they can do anything about it for risk of the PR that will put their production company out of business.

Profit.

I'd sell tickets to an unbelievably realistic murder house, where a family gets killed in front of the audience , which is just strolling through the house. Kinda like life theaters

I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the plan gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

tell my family that they need to give me $100,000 or they will be slaughtered

Shoot family.

nothing. I'd be set to inherit millions.

Holy shit.
Nice plan/10

kek

go to bank account and withdraw 100,000

if my familly get slaughtered I will inherit way more than $100 000

Or say you need money to buy video games to research how much sexism they contain. She made over a million

Actual nice plan/10

No idea, i would start by making a Sup Forums thread, looking for autistic ideas

cant stop laughing

I'd try to record conversations with the assailants, buy guns, and tell the police. Good chance they'll take it seriously, and even if my debts are kind of shady, I'd rather go to jail than be straight up murdered.

my side hurts

>Tell family plight
>Family bands together
>Family bonds in common cause of survival.
>Family sits together for first time and does not try to kill.exe
>MFW when Valhalla

Are you sure?.. getting killed is kinda cool tbh

>Take out life insurance on my family
Sit back and watch the world burn