Hello. My name is Reza and I am lost. Please help

Hello. My name is Reza and I am lost. Please help.

I don't know what I want with this life. Perhaps when they said you only live once they were right and there is nothing but darkness after this and that thought scares me. All my life I imagined hell to be a fiery place of torment but now, I believe in something else, something more dreadful. I believe true hell is conscious nothingness, darkness.
I think about that and I believe it as much as I don't want to. So what should I do with my life?

I tell everyone around me I want to pursue a medical career but deep down I know I'm lying when I tell them I want to be a neurosurgeon. It's the paycheck that sparks interest and that just makes me disgusted by myself.

I like to write. Short stories, poems... anything really, but as of late I feel that I can never live up to the standards of our time. I can never come up with an Idea so original that it would satisfy not only my audience but my own need to write something truly great. Something that will be remembered.

I promised myself when I was only twelve years old that I would never work for a big company. I would never sit hunched over a desk in a grey colored cubicle and type numbers into a spreadsheet and almost everyday I remind myself of that promise.

I always dreamed to travel the world. When I was a boy I told my mother than 70 to 80 years of life is not nearly enough to experience everything and she agreed, with clear sadness in her voice. Ever since then it has been engraved into my mind that I must try everything while I have the chance before the darkness sets in. So I devised a plan to travel the world as a backpacker and discover myself through that little by little for the rest of my life. Yet I see no conventional "future" in doing that so I have been unsure of this potentially life changing decision.

Please Sup Forums what do you think that I should do with my time left here in order to find true peace and happiness for myself?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=zhMK4AMObOw
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Aim to do everything. You'll fail, but you'll rarely be bored.

...

A medical career takes a long time, a life of travel takes a long time, the only thing I can do is writing besides those which will take less time than those other two but still a long time in a way that I must choose one and stick with it. And I know I'll fail if I do all of those at the same time.

aren't you an edgelord?

...

Hey Reza, I'm Rose,I know my way.
First off, consciousness enveloped in void and darkness is real, can happen,and is strangely relaxing.
Secondly, there's not just one life.
Life is an abstract word, there's no life in hell, no life in death. There's just life. Forever unceasing, always volatile. Death is just the end of your body, it is NOT the end of life, it is a PART of life.

Sorry, forgot the pic

Relaxing in what way?

Hey Reza, if you're lost just sit tight. Rama is coming to find you.

Nothing to worry about, no body, no senses, no surroundings, just your soul and thoughts. And even when those are negative in the now, negativity won't be felt there. Still a very rare occurence

you mean that incarnation of vishnu?

Why do you think you'll have an easier time finding yourself while travelling than you're having now?

youtube.com/watch?v=zhMK4AMObOw

>A Vietnamese music video
>Rama
>???

Reza, you have to engage in a conversation if you want help, any advice will not help if it is one-sided. - Rose.

Character in music video is an actor. He is in the The Raid series directed Gareth Evans. That is a screen shot from the raid 2.his character is names Rama.

Meeting new people tends to open me up a bit more and lets me look at myself from another angle. I try to see what other people see in me and if there is a flaw I try to correct it. Travelling is just a way to meet new people and experience things in way I wouldn't experience where I am currently.

Stop giving a fuck and do whatever you want to do. Pick up hobbies. Workout. Learn new things. Youll suck at first but who cares. Just enjoy tge process of learning or doing something and eventually you'll get better and better. Occupy your time with stuff you are interested in and relax off the whole death thing. Its not nearly as bad as you think. Everyone dies, but that makes the beauty of life what it is.
You dont remember wjat life was before you were born. Its basically the same thing when you die. When you get older most people dont realize after you turn 50 + they give you a lot of prescription drugs. Most old people are on some form of prescription anxiety med or painkiller and arent worried about death. Honestly im excited to get old. Id love to just be relaxed and enjoying the yeara i have left doing things i loce with people i love. It gets better OP it really does.

It's me, and yes I know that. It's just that I don't want to discuss what comes after what I would call "death" but rather what I should do with this current life.

Theres a lot of jobs that travel a lot, and if you can deal with them, you can travel a lot and still have a stable base. As for writing, just try. Practice makes perfect, and be confident in yourself, which is important, especially in trying to get published. And just experiencing life, I believe, helps you become a better writer, so maybe traveling will help give you a unique view point on life.

How old are you OP?

oh ok, tnx I didn't know that

19

that is a good way to look at it I guess...

Don't look too deeply into things as an excuse not to take action, realize there are people that are dying of shit that will make the rest of their life completely miserable, and be thankful that you don't have to go through that. don't be concerned with your value to others, instead appreciate the value you place in things in life and focus on that. don't let your worries take hold of your life, a day of enjoying laying down is more productive than a day spent convincing yourself that you're in a predicament.

What you should do in this life is for you to find out, I couldn't even help you, ican support you at best.

I'm not afraid of dying or getting old. I'm afraid of not spending my life wisely.

It's well worth a watch if you like martial arts and you don't mind a bit of subtitles and gruesome combat.

Are you in uni, or no?

I have been very fortunate and have lived in prosperity all my life. I am thankful for that but it's just that I feel like something is missing and I'm afraid that I won't find it until it's too late.

still making my decisions for the future. Sup Forums is basically my last resort because everyone else has had nothing to say but some cliche, garden variety life advice that would get me no where.

I think most people feel the way you do now at some point in their lives. No one has the right answer for you, but good luck finding it.

Just as a suggestion - if you don't have a plan atm, one thing that works well for travel for some is getting a good degree, and then going to Japan or Korea to teach English. A lot of the world is right there to see, and the new cultural experiences will be fun if nothing else. Also, Japanese women.