Greentext your latest gaming adventures. Any game

Greentext your latest gaming adventures. Any game.

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>1 go to waympoint
>2 start mission
>3 kill all enemies
>4 mission completed
and back to 1

what game am i playing?

>slaying fool
>get huge!
>killed mega fool
>got even huger!

>guard lets me investigate rumors that his soverign murdered his predecessor
>follow the source to the late king's widdow
>swear to kill the new king for his crimes
>dick around cause the new king won't show up in public
>city is under attack
>report my help in fightiung off the attack to the guard from above
>king finaly in his throne room
>reach for guards gold pouch
>he notices and attacks me
>kill every guard in the trone room and go on to fuck up the murdering king

> turn on t500rs wheel
> load up Dirt Rally
> take first few corners like a boss
> fuck up and get stuck
> rinse & repeat until I feel like smashing my tv.

>Rush B
>blyat
I hate myself for that

>It all started with me wanting to play a particular game all cuz of the trailer and the remixed "Drunken Sailor" song to match with the game's story
>"hmm...what would I do with a Drunken Whaler", I asked.
>surely, I was about to find out.
>As I downloaded the game from Steam and adjust the settings, I'm immediately Lord Protector of an empress
What's the female version of Lord? Can't be Lordess, sounds weird.
>So I looked around, apparently I went through some deployment or Journey cuz people kept telling me "oh welcome back ye ole bean!"
>After walking around, I have to learn my sneaky skills all by beating this girl dressed in all white as if she's going to her wedding, in being sneaky
>"no damn way" I thought.

Checked

>walking down the path
>bzzt bzzt
>lame only another 2 headed emu
>step in dogshit
>not even lying

>team goes for objectives
>win in a few minutes
>all the gold medals
>team ignores objectives
>lose in a few minutes
>all the gold medals
>quit cos I'm salty like that

>kill deamons
>kill deamons
>kill deamons
>kill deamons

What game?

>Playing dodgeball in rec room
>shit was fun

>building new neighborhood
>accidentally make some of the roads 1 way only
>cause huge traffic jams
>can't figure out what the fuck I have done wrong
>garbage trucks and funeral cars are all night
>brand new district I was once so proud of...
>decided to name it New Jersey

Cities skylines, about to launch that now coincidentally.

Diablo

>Run to the right
>keep running
>jump once in a while
>push down once in a while
>jump on boss 8 times

>bitch princess kidnapped
>Wear green
>kill bitches and shit
>Find sword
>Stab more bitches
>Find head bitch
>Named Canon or some stupid crap
>Piggy bitch takes sword in ass
>Boss piggy bitch is kill
>Save Princess
>Fuck princess
>Shit was cash

...

>caught literally them all
>can't start a new game because you can only have one fucking save
>2016

>get lethal disease
>figure that family can use some extra money as I'll no longer be able to support them
>meet old student who suggests that we go into the weed business
>after months of perfecting we've finally grown the perfect blue wood plant
>''Mana''
>we start sell it on street, cops be mad as hell, also drug lords
>use my sister in law ''Skank'' to get into military records who keeps track on the case against my precious mana
>things get out of hand

Currently stuck here, maybe finished 8/10 of the whole gaem series, gess the geme

>committing grand theft auto
>hit other players with my car
>get out of car
>beat them to death with hammer

Cannon Fodder

Breaking Benjamin

>be me
>Saving the world from ifrit
>everybody tells me that im a hero
>gets send out to get goblin cheese

I feel your pain

>need food, grab trusty SMLE mk iii
>shoot deer
>technically shot thru both lungs
>fucker still runs halfway across the map
>following blood & tracks, freezing to death
>finally find corpse
>set up fire, clean and harvest
>fuck, wolves show up
>fire keeping them away
>blizzard rolling in, almost freeze to death making it back to base, fending off wolves with a torch
>I love not having fun

>i get fed on top early
>team pls dont fuck up
>my adc gets fed'
>my middle lux dies 2 times
>blames jungle
>says she will go afk if he dont gank
>they argue
summonerhasdisconnected.mp3
>oh fuck
>their taliyah get free farm
>our jungle dont care
>mfw i blame jungle now too
>we lose

>in a race with 11 other faggots
>get first place
>get fucked by blue shell
>now in last place
>mfw

>using Japanese planes
>enter ki-45 tei to hunt bombers with the schrage musik and 37mm cannon
>find a bomber that doesn't have a bottom gunner
>get close to bomber in the schrage musik view
>bomber keeps moving out of way of bullets
>ammo goes from 200 rounds to 50 fast
>decide to just climb to kill him with 37mm cannon
>get one shot on him and somehow miss
>his tail gunner kills me with a 7.7mm machine gun in a couple hits to my pilots face
>I go in another plane to try to get revenge
>still die from gunners
>time goes by trying to kill him
>I kill him on my last plane
>Round ends

>i was just a "leftenant" back then, doing some wetwork
>It was the first time the government had authorised an assassination since the Second World War.
>I was under the command of Captain MacMillan.

good times.

>Used to play Simcity 4 when I was 14
>Now 20
>Want to try again
>Piratebay Deluxe Edition cuz am not a pussy
>Omg so good
>Becoming Simcity 4 Master having 350,000 habitants per city
>wantmoar.bat
>Downloading mods and stuff hardcore gamerz
>Trying to get the best mayor rate, even destroying thousands of houses to built a 5km^2 park with a huge ass statue of me cuz am da boss
>bestmomentcoming.exe
>Ctrl+S
>Put fire on my nuclearplant, blame fucking lefties rebels teenagers
>Volcano in the meedle of the city cuz fuk yah
>Nuclear explosion, fatass earthquakes
>Destroying the whole city
>jeezinmy300bucksmayoesuit.jpg
>Return of the normality, calm and peace again
>4 habitants
>Mayor rate increase
>"user, you are the best mayor"
>Best Game Ever.

gotta go fast fam

Found a squirtle in my back yard. I am disappoint.

DOOM

>try to unlock new item
>start off great
>quad shot, tech x, mom's knife
>shit so cash
>get to boss rush
>thisisit.jpg
>die at first 2 bosses because I got a fucker who jumps around and had no holy mantle
>I died inside
>mfw I will never get D100

>Be me
>Playing Fallout 4
>Companion = Curie
>Talks about how bad violence is etc.
>Decide to keep her unarmed
>Be wandering through Boston
>Raiders
>Ohshit.Jpg
>Curie fucking comes out of nowhere
>Suplexes raider
>mfw

>get used by sorceress
>she wants to go on a romantic date
>take her on a romantic date
>she wants to fug
>prolly using me again
>cutest grill in the game so far
>fug sorceress
>turns out she used me again
>take her scrolls and send her back to me casa
hopefully we fug some more or maybe date

>Playing WoW as hordie
>Que for RBG
>For the fourth time in row fucking AV
>Alt+F4 before it's started
Srsly pls release Legion already Blizz

>trick question - you actually didn't play a game, but you are the guy who planned New Jersey

The division

>be sneeki cat man
>sneek around
>want better sneeking gear
>spend next day and a half making things to get better sneeking sneeks
>very close to best sneeks stuff
>happy sneeki cat man. :^)
I love skyrim

>killing tiny penguins to steal their fish
>need to kill literally 1000 penguins
>person walks by
>"you're doing gods work"
>kill 15 more penguins

13 year old detected

>be me tired
>5AM
>decide to play some late night ARAM in League
>enemy team is Teemo, Velkoz, Malzahar, Jihn, and Blitz
>tfw

>need to get help against a dragon from ogres
>they won't help me until I kill their leader who works with the dragon and plans to attack them
>gotta build barricades first
>head to a forest, ogres punch trees
>build barricades
>former ogre boss attacks with an army of tamed beasts, slowly works his way through ogre guards
>I keep summoning a shitton of undead monstrosities while he fights his way towards me
>send tiny bone doggo guys into his beasts and explode them, everything gets torn apart and poisoned
>send other undead guys attack
>flesh golem charges and knocks everything aside
>kill ogre
>get pants as a reward

Sounds cool

>spawn
>chop wood and stone with rock
>get beat to death by 4 12 yr olds screeching.

>went outside for the first time in years
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>Playing Elite Dangerous
>Just got Horizons
>My Clipper is screaming for some upgraded thrusters to fight off those motherfucking improved NPCs and the upcoming Thargoid invasion the feds are causing
>Go see one of the Engineers
>Felicity Farseer
>Asks for a unit of meta-alloys to get clearance to her upgrades
>easy work, I was already looking forward to go see them barnacles
>Get some extra fuel tanks and a fuel scoop for my Clipper
>Head out to pleiades
>20 jumps cause shit jump range
>I feel like I'm forgeting something
>Nevermind
>Arrive in Maia, restock heat sinks and repair ship
>Head out to some long-name system nearby
>Find like 4 barnacles together
>Feds have one of them surrounded by turrets
>Fucking Feds are gonna get us all killed, you'll see
>Anyway, land, hop on my Scarab and harvest some meta-alloys
>Come back to my ship to transfer cargp
>Mfw no cargo racks

>Farm this
>Farm that

Gta 5

What is this

>Skyrim with Requiem Model
>If I die I have to start all over
>Orc Knight
>Grinding for hours, finally think I'm tough enough for companion guild quests
> Set off to take care of a bandit problem
> Find bandits and start fighting
>Requiem game play is way harder
> All out combat for about an hour, clearing bandits
> Mirin' heavy armor hax
> finally kill last archer with sweet decapitation
>fall off a bridge and die

>get hired to kill a monster
>Monster can talk
>monster is friend with old friend of mine
>wut do.jpeg
>find out someone controls monster
>find controller
>hot chick
>is sister of the girl who hire me
>fuck her bc thats what i do
>kill monster
>freind says hes ok, but leaves
>still waiting for that threesome

Lord / Lady

>Gets task to kill 162 blue dragons
>Whip and anti-dragon shield
>Pray-flick
>Eat lobster
>Collect bones
>Profit
>XP

witcher 3

pokemon go?

>Runescape
:)

The division, every GTA game?
ANY FUCKING OPEN WORLD GAME PERHAPS?

Pretty much baited

>STOP PLAYING GAMES AND WATCH THIS

youtube.com/watch?v=mPR7LB2ayoU

picture unrelated

kek, never played the game, but it sounds pretty funny
>thanks for sharing, Satan

>Liftoff!
>700000
>No fuel
>SAS not working
>Became a comet

Also playing Elite
>Finally get back to home system after weeks of exploring the outer rim
>turn in all my cartographic data
>clear ~30 million credits, hell yeah
>repair my Asp, store it for now
>buy a type-7 to do some trucking for kicks
>upgrade that shit, tons of cargo space
>first job I take is offering 400k, doesn't even take my entire cargo space so I have room for commodities
>lots of jumping, almost get interdicted but manage to get away
>turn in job, sell commodities
>loadsamoney.jpg
>it's a good day
>keep trucking and listening to podcasts
>start drinking irl
>few hours later, tipsy bordering on drunk
>now flying a huge spaceship drunk
>start fucking around with spaceports, buzzing past them as close as I can etc
>drunk.wav
>eventually play chicken with a starport
>forget unmaneuverable to Type-7 is
>crash straight into it and die while carrying mission critical cargo
>mfw I realize what I've done

I once turned my Clipper into a cargo ship and bought some millions of some commodity, then I crashed the ship inside the station and lost everything

>in a counterstrike lobby with 4 friends
>decide to que up for some matchmating
>played cobblestone
>drew
>played mirage
>drew again
>fucking good games but wish valve matchmaking had tiebreakers

I know this feel. Once while exploring I didn't have enough money to rebuy my ship entirely, and ended up crashing into a star. Was totally bankrupt and lost all my data. Good times.

>play on a server
>build a house in the middle of the street
>no mad admins gg
>friend is an admin
>gives me most op fucking assault rifle
>we do random shit
>"fuck it"
>I kill everyone including my friend
>gets banned by him before the other admin can ban me

>Joins match
>"noob team, noob team, noob team, noob team"
>"cyka blyat"
>Top frag with 27 kills
>deranks
What game am i playing?

This kind of stuff is literally the only reason I'm not exploring the Formidine Rift right now

Are you stupid? This is bait im sure.

fucking cs go

>be geralt of rivia
>ride the shit out of roach throughout the entire game
(plus both DLC)
>complete majority quests
>discover hive of bandit gangs
>cannot defeat

>play old school runescape
>no idea what to do
>log off

>join server
>64 tick
>60-70 ping
>2 blatant hackers
>lose
>derank to le
tfw

You sir deserve internets for even saying that game's name.

Mass effect?

you have skin insanity
>mfw you have skin insanity

clearly blood and wine

i just recently played this game (didnt jump in the bandwagon all this years and decided to it now)

don't understand how people rate this game so high

it's fucking silly that you can freeze time and drink 80 potions and eat 250 pounds of cheese when you have 3 dragons spitting fire and ice on you

what were the devs thinking? should have been a real time combat system where healing spells were more important and pots didnt exist (pre-pot combat buffs are ok)

silly mechanics

people is dumb as fuck rating this game

what you talking bout nigga?

Every steam early access survival game

>just defeated vokun after watching a level 5 on youtube

What's the easiest dragon priests to kill?
I heard you can fus ro dah volsung off the mountain and instakill him but I haven't seen it done yet.

*links to pyrocynical's yt channel*

Fuck you man, i cant laugh this hard at work

>attacking city in grepolis (broser game)
>send around 1.5k units overall
>lose last attack and wonder why because that should have been plenty to finish it off
>send spy
>see opponent has 12 units left
>fml

>playing some SPACESTATION 13
>load up as bartender
>love my pet monkey
>the wicked chef steals my monkey, wants to make monkey burgers
>chase him into kitchen
>he keeps the worktable between me and him
>stabs my monkey to fuck with me
>warn chef that my rage will consume him
>chef flees to walk in fridge
>I draw my shotgun, beanbags loaded
>the AI, either rogue or stupid, opens the door on my command
>the chef freezes, my monkey strung up next to him
>the beanbag catches him square, and he drops
>monologue to him, about how I warned him, asking him if my monkey was worth a crushed skull
>begin to bash his skull with butt of shotgun
>he cries for help, stuttering with brain damage
>it arrives to late
>before I can fully finish him off the door to the cooler opens, in walks a man in an Owl costume
>he has the Janitor with him and the two rush me
>the owl takes a beanbag and goes down
>the janitor knocks my gun away and we begin to brawl
>he tries a few body blows but my armor is strong
>I catch him with one across the jaw and he goes down
>the owl rises
>I rush him, pummeling him with a monkey like rage
>owl reaches into his backpack and pulls out a bottle of nothing and shatters it on my head

what is this?

>The Legend Never Dies

But the quests are great!
>go to cave and kill bandit
>go to cave and kill bear
>go to cave and kill bandit
And the devious puzzles in the dungeons!
>arrange 3 pictures exactly as shown in front of you

Not bait I guess I just don't play many games.

Not related but don't y'all agree with me that PS1 (or pc back then) games are more challenging compared to games these days? Nowadays we just need to turn a game on, scan the enemies and shoot them dead. Oh and the ever so helpful maps. Like you are basically know what to do from the very beginning. No thrill and excitement whatsoever.
I remember playing Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver and how frustrated I was not knowing where I'm at and how excited I was when I did something right.

>playing bajo tooie
>platforming in the theme park area
>high uo as fuck in the sci-fi part with burgers and fries
>fall off from a kilometer high thing
>press b repeatedly to try to break my fall
>start talking to an npc in mid air 2 feet from the ground
>walk away
>
>

I have no idea what game it is either. And I do have some general knowledge.

dishonored best game

>started competitive
>got bored
>abandoned
>7 day ban

Halo 5?

>be holy fashion model
>tick tock
> kill god
In a nutshell

>tf2 comp
>6 losses in a row
>team is children that run into walls again
>get steam rolled
>abandon match on last round to piss everyone off
>6 hour ban
>now i have nothing to do

Stop right there criminal scum

>be female slave leader
>have a thousand slaves, most on horses, some on elephants
>earn mad gold selling bandits to slavery
>feels good man