Femanon here

Femanon here

I want to surprise my boyfriend with anal for his birthday. Any advice/opinions on anal? I haven't tried it before.

Pic unrelated

Make sure to move your dick out of the way

>type femanon here
>wait 0.03 seconds
>290 lonely, gullible teenage spergs appear and spend the next hour screaming for tits, timestamps and sharpies in poopers

WORKS LITERALLY EVERY TIME

Reply with a pic (with timestamp) so i can inspect your asshole.

kappa

Just do it. He will enjoy it

If you have never done it than you might first want to try it out yourself by buying a toy or just finger yourself. Also anote anal dousche might be a good idea to clean out anything unwanted and stops from that raunchy anal smell that can sometimes happen.

this
fingering yourself a bit beforehand will stretch you out some so its not as painful

>IM DOIN IT MOM
>IM TALKIN 2 A REAL GURL

...

Got my dank birth control patch in for good measure

Don't forget to lube, take it slow, and be gentle on his asshole if it's his first time, too.

Well, you got half of the "tits and timestamp" thing right.

Although judging by those stubby hot dog fingers, I don't think I'm going to want to see any more of you.

I would so take his asshole if he'd let me but he's a pussy

Damn you have huge tits. I love huge tits.

Also you need to use a ton of lube. Like more than you think is necessary. You will thank yourself afterwards. Lube is the secret to enjoyable anal sex

besr kek ive had in a while

>stubby hot dog fingers

You're going to want to start with a smaller strap on so he's not too surprised when you stick it in. Once you work your way up to the bigger ones, give him a reach around too.

>Femanon
Nice try fag, we know you're a guy that's a dumb fat fuck

The thing about anal, you're going to want to make sure that you aren't going to shit all over his dick.
Have a bunch of fiber filled food for a day or two beforehand--makes it all come out together.
Stretching yourself out ahead of time is good. Using lube is imperative. Spit won't work; use internal body safe water based lube (or, honestly, olive oil). The inside of your asshole is one of the fastest absorbing mucous membranes in the human body, you don't want toxic stuff in there.

Go in slow, lube up, and when he's finished make sure he pulls out slowly as well

Kek

Whale spotted off the port bow.

...

Seriously, olive oil?

If real.
Douche, douche and douche beforehand.
Fuck yourself with a dildo for a few minutes right before surprising him, this will ensure lube is well up your ass and you will relax so he can fuck hard from the start.
Practice beforehand is pretty important, if it's your first time you will make him go way slower than he wants.

>bc a fat boy would have E boobs (know what that's possible) and a birth control patch

...

I've heard the water just feels weirder than the D. Any tips for prep/douching? :^)

Very good emergency lube and it's 100% safe for the human body

Don't, it's hella bad for you. Just make sure you have some solid shits first

Hey op can you post some more cleavage? That's hot

Buy a proper douche, skimping on the equipment is a great way to have an epic mess to clean up later.
The water will feel weird, if you can get it to body temperature before it goes in it will feel way less shocking.
The only way it can be bad for you is if you do it very regularly, or you use unclean water. For a "dirty" bodypart it's surprisingly easy to get an infection if you aren't careful.
If you don't douche even if you have a good crap an hour beforehand you will still end up with brown goop on his dick/dripping out.
The other prep is fucking a dildo beforehand, both in the days beforehand and right before you do it. It takes a while to learn how to relax without pushing too hard.
The dildoing right before you try it with your boyfriend is important as it will relax you, lube you nicely as well as limit the need for super slow insertion, which can make the guy go soft.