ITT: we describe our job as shitty as possible

ITT: we describe our job as shitty as possible

Others have to guess.

Trips changes thread subject.

i wake up every fucking morning to sit on a uncomfortable chair for hours

delivery driver

>put dead sea animals in bag
>weigh
>print
>wrap
>hand to person asking

easy, seafood department at a grocer store

I babysit adults who temporarily forget basic survival functionality for like an hour.

student?
bus/taxi/other public transport driver?
chair tester?
office worker?
programmer?

this

Pic extremely fucking related.

you are a ninja turtle?
wow. just wow.
does your employer pay for all the pizza?

Not exactly. But my employer does provide pizza and "health care".
>And hearing loss
>And chronic knee and back pain

such is the life of a superhero

Pls kill me

>motion car to pull up
>point to sign that says neutral
>they put car in reverse and almost back into car behind them
>they look at me like I'm retarded
>I have them pull up again
>tell them to put car in neutral again
>yelling shit at me
>can't hear shit cuz I'm in a wind tunnel with earplugs
>hopping rollers
>have to manually put their car in neutral
>mfw
>rinse and repeat 1000 more times a day

you are this guy who motions those sticks at airplanes

Car wash

>spend time meticulously preparing a pizza from the dough up
>instead of cooking it, put it in plastic
>let the pizza sit for a half hour on a rack
>wait for some dumb motherfucker to take it home and cook it themself
>eat the cheese that fell off

papa murphy's employee

Nope
>be doing my shit
>look outside
>no more towels
>fuckchrist.bmp
>go to back room to get more towels
>dindu comes up to me
>wtf this dude u can't be back here
>"ay yo can I git a smell good?"
>fucking fine here
>"can I get 2 more?"
>dude no go away
>"can I git a towel?"
>sure fine whatever
>grab load towels
>put outside
>15 min later all gone
>see dindu walking off with a huge stack of towels
>mfw

Walk around hospital looking for people that look like they are about to die then take their eyes and all the organs that may be still useful for trasplant

I kill dogs

kek
now I don't even have a clue where the hell you work, but give me another hint, this is becoming good

car wash

>tie stuff together
>things start moving or doing other things

Dr. Frankenstein

work with food
rarely cook it
talk to people
also work with amusement park junk

>doesn't have a job

>tie stuff together
like by stuff you mean employees?
and by tie you mean an actual piece of clothing?
so you basically connect your co-workers with ties?

>type words into a keyboard
>they appear on the screen in different colours.

Certified oxygen jockey

+1

> be in office
> nobody is working
> facebook youtube and shit
> get really angry
> drink beer

Wear a coat all the fucking time. Wearing glasses 80% of the time.
Rest of the time typing shit.
Job could easily be my demise.
Nobody willing to put up cameras although junkys keep stealing our devices to stire their math (literally happens every month and nobody gives a shit, because a fucking fence around something that could be a village is safe enough).
Shit involves too much teamwork for most.

>tinker with shit
>repair said shit
>deal with people not knowing shit about their shit
>sit and lurk Sup Forums while doing shit

Yeah

I take care of drunk children

a scientist

>gym attendant?
>chinese food cook?
programmer or graphic designer

I have little fuckers who couldnt keep their filthy hands off of substances, and other little fuckers who have a fucked up social skills and mental disorders complain to me all day

I go to work late at night with a bunch of niggers and i move things off a belt into various numbered stacks

mechanic?

Military personnel?

pharmacist in a shitty place

rehab/mental health worker

I made that easy as fuck after reading the rest of these

close, not quite
>technology

Pirated software

Craigslist

Mostly Windows 7 / 10 and Office 2016

Sometimes AutoCAD, Photoshop, Windows Server

Usually good for 30$ here and there but have to meet in public day time and change phone numbers every few months due to freaks

waste of oxygen.

...

electrician?

Wrong direction here's a hint you can replace tie with twist and it still works

I work with niggers in a large, old, dusty place and make work with what the nigger's ancestors used to pick in the fields

I convince people to pay to let other people touch them

Stay-at-home mom?

ATF?

>be me
>work in cold area
>lots of cold steel in my hands all day
>surrounded by the sweet stench of death all day

not sure how else I could help while not divulging the job so fuck it

computer/phone/whatever technician

i take your money and say i will give you back more money but sometimes i don't and that's ok.

pimp

seriously though probably something in medical advising

I shoot black people sometimes

factory worker

>deal with 18yr old girls who constantly want the same, recycled design because it somehow "fits their personality" and is "meaningfull"
>college kids come in and explain something really shitty/impossible and get upset when I tell them I won't do it because they'll regret it later down the road
>Warn people not to get their partners name on them, but they do it anyway and literally come back to my same place of work to get it covered up

heavy hydraulics steel worker
car making?
random steel shit on demand?

>sell stoners drug paraphernalia and dildos
>shoot heroin in the back with coworkers when no customers around

Textile mill?

>Do the same 12 projects every few months
>Technically government employee
>Fucking flies

tattoo artist

>Travels hours to start job
>Put intricate suite on with lots of items hanging off it
>Stands motionless for 30mins - 1 hour
>Carry dead body to hole with others fellow workers
>Fold up a piece of cloth into a triangle over body
> Fellow workers shoot rifle into the sky
>Give piece of triangle cloth to crying person
>Go travel home.

this isn't a job,it's just being a good human being.
This is like posting "i breathe air and drink water"

tatttttoooo fgt

No
No
No

Literally can't say anything more without giving it away, don't think too hard

head/sex shop worker

Tattoo cunt?

Yep

Politician?

fucking butcher my nigga

so are you a professional nigger?

somewhat close but i work in an amazon warehouse.

Butcher or at least in a grocery store's meat department?

Yes

Honor guard

Got it

> I lock up children
> Make them scream
> "See ya next weekend!"

Vet?

butcher

carwash

Fag

>drive

Disneyland character actress

bathroom attendant

I play candy crush all day but I don't have a smartphone.

I don't think anyone will get this.

You're that little chinese fucker in my mall that keeps asking me about foot massages. fuck you

Waiter

Trip sitter

bingo

I put objects into piles, they then go into trucks, then to another guy, and then it arrives

>be me
>wake up at 3pm every day with a hangover
>at work deal with foreign ignorant cunts and annoyed teenagers
>get covered in sticky smelly gunk all day
>long hours with physical work never get to sit down
>there every fucking weekend
>spend at least an hour a night carrying heavy crates

you sell tickets to rollercoaster

heard it sucks working in their warehouses, also chek'd

Catholic priest

Wasn't too hard to guess, but yep. 18yr old girl came in the shop about an hour ago asking if I would tattoo an infinity sign on her finger because it "relates" to her "struggle"

Wake up at ass crack of dawn to get yelled at