Be american

>be american
>pretend to be sick and stay home from school because it's national shart inspection day

>be swedish
>pretend to be sick and stay home from school because it's infested with refugees

>be American
>fail at banter

Embarrassing desu

>be American
>drop out of school to avoid a school shooting
>get shot by Tyrone anyway

the education system belongs to the state
so if they had any public system wide thing it would be state wide

thank you for cultural sensitivity

>doesn't refute the shart part

DIARRHEA IN GALLERIA

DUBIOUS FART NEAR THE SHOPPING CART

none of that, at least I live in a northern state away from the fucking stupid people I hate America so much. everyone is literally retarded and the religious cucks discourage education. fuck Trump and fuck Clinton.

LEAK IN THE BOUTIQUE

HAHA IT JUST DOESN'T GET OLD

SMELLY HOLE IN THE BIG MALL

PLOP IN THE SHOP

>Exist
>In Sweden

BROWN GALORE IN THE STORE

Bumping the best thread of 2017

EXCREMENT IN THE DEPARTMENT

>be swedish
>dont have to worry about penis inspection day at school because we've all chopped ours off

DISGRACE IN THE MARKETPLACE

SHITE AROUND THE SHOPPING SITE

>be European
>get hit by a truck

DEFECATE IS AISLE 8

POOP JET IN THE OUTLET

FECAL PRODUCTION IN THE PRODUCE SECTION

>be European
>drop out of school and become a cashier
>get to sit in a chair at your job

>be American
>drop out of school and become a cashier
>be forced to stand for your whole 8 hour shift

FECAL MATTER IN THE SUPERCENTER

Why do you get so defensive about a silly joke?

POOPY EUPHORIA IN THE CORNER EMPORIUM

SMELLY IN THE DELI

>be Amerifart
> *BRAAAAPPPPT*

BOWEL MOVEMENT IN THE ESTABLISHMENT

POOPS THAT ARE BIZARRE AT THE STREET BAZAAR

ODOR IN THE CHAIN STORE

FART FAKERY AT THE BAKERY

DYSENTERY AT THE HABERDASHERY

SPHINCTER FAILURE AT THE RETAILER

WHATS LEFT OF LAST NIGHTS DINNER IS NO LONGER WITHIN HER

That is not how you do it, you have to include a synonym for mart

RECTAL STEW IN THE CHECKOUT QUEUE

WET PLOP AT THE MOM-AND-POP

LOOSE STOOLS IN THE POWER TOOLS [aisle]

big words from someone else crawling with harmless refugees

BOWEL WINGDING IN BURGER KING

SOMETHING UNHOLY IN THE TROLLEY

COLON CALAMITY IN J.C.PENNEY

BROWN PILE ON THE FRUIT AISLE

SOMETHING BROWN AND SLURRY NEAR THE AISLE OF CURRY

>country literally founded and stocked by reffos
>whose descendants can't maintain their faecal continence while perusing a price-discount department store

>suddenly niggers kick in your door and kidnap you
>torture you and livestream it

LARGE SHIT AT THE TARGET

>be american
> possess the ability to eat beans and sing the national anthem by sharting alone

ANAL GRAVY AT OLD NAVY

ARSE SHREDDING IN BEDDING

...

POO POO PEE PEE AT DOLLAR TREE

RUINED JEANS AT THE WALGREENS

RECTAL PITSTOP IN THE LOCAL GROCERYSHOP.

DESIGNATED SHART SHOOTING AISLE

RELEASING ON THE SCROTAL AT BARNS AND NOBLE

damn.. will ameri*BRRAAPPP*s ever recover from this?

>be American General
>shartstain missing from office chair
>immediately arrested and outed as a spy

DUMP TO THE MAX AT T.J. MAXX

SHIT ALL OVER IN KROGER

BROWN PLOP IN GAMESTOP

BOOTY PLOP IN THE SHOOTY SHOP

SAY GRACE BEFORE SHART FECES

CROP DUSTING STACIES AT THE MACYS

COME SHART LIKE US AT NEIMAN MARCUS

POOP RELATED SINS IN ALBERTSONS

Is it bad i farted when i read this

SHITTIN' LIKE WHALES IN BLOOMINGDALE'S

>Be Australian
>Wake up
>Narrowly avoid getting bitten by a redback and funnelweb getting ready
>There's a snake in the Cereal box
>Neighbor's house is on fire from an arson attack
>Another neighbor has murder-suicided his entire family
>Go to work at the vegemite factory
>Halfway there, the sun gets in your eyes
>Pull down sun visor
>A Hunstman spider that was hiding under the visor jumps on your face, obscuring your vision
>Get in car accident
>Ride a Kangaroo the rest of the way there
>Arrive at work
>A RedfunnelGreatWhiteBoxjellyCassowarydilerooray has eaten your boss and an entire daycare on the first floor
>Coworker who's dying of a stingray stab through the chest says "Well croikey m8, work's out, that 'Dileroo's a roight mean cunt ain'ee?"
>Shake it off and say "Yeah nah at loist thoi didn't git shot"
>Turn around to go back home
>Abbos have already stolen your Roo
>Have to walk home but speed up by greasing your shoes with vegemite
>By the time you get there it's dark
>Get stabbed by a coked up Bogan and he steals the tim tams you brought for lunch
>Call hospital because you forgot your malleable 'mite to seal your wounds
>Ambulance comes
>Die on the way there because you live in the ass-end of nowhere
>As you die say "Oi bet t'emus did'is"
>Paramedic reassures you "Nah yeah cunt at least ya didn't git shot"

TURD AND WHATNOT AT SAVE-A-LOT

SHARTING IS A MUST AT TOYS R US

>Be American
>pretend to be sick and stay home from school because it's national shooting up day

>Be Guatemalan
>Don't go to school and somehow end up being shooted anyways

MY PARIETAL LOBE IS HAVING A HARD TIME

>Be french
>Make fun of burgerclaps for getting shot
>Get shot yourself
>November 13th, 2015

PLEASE STAND BEFORE THE ANTHEM SHARTING

>Being swedish

>be american
>pretend to be sick for national shooting day
>pretend to be sick for penis inspection day
>pretend to be sick for schoolwide sharting day

CRAP LIKE A CREEPO AT HOME DEPOT

>Be canadian
>Get launched into the next province by a charging cybermoose
>Oh fuck
>It's Quebec
>HONHON STUPIDE ANGLOPHONE YOU NO SPEAK FRANCOIS
>Get washed back to your home province in a flood of poutine
>Yeah you could say it was an interesting day

POP POOP PLOP IN THE SHOP

Alright off to bed cunts

It's been a fun thread

RELIEVE YOURSELVES NEAR COSTCO'S SHELVES

RELEASE A STONE BEHIND THE STORE

ANAL POURS AT THE DOLLAR STORES

BED POOP PILLOW PLOP

SHART STAINED MOLD FROM EATING AT MCDONALDS

ANUS STARTS TO CRY WHEN SHOPPING AT BEST BUY

SOMETHING SMELLS SHITTY IN THE CIRCUIT CITY

SHITTY SEATS TO SHITTY SHEETS
AMERICANS POO WHILE SIT AND SLEEP

GOTTA TAKE A DUMP WHILE VOTING FOR TRUMP

THERES A CROP DUSTER IN THE BLOCKBUSTER

SHITSTAIN YOU SAY? IM STAYIN THIS WAY

CANT HOLD IT IN NEAR THE DISCOUNT BIN

ANUS AIN'T TAME AT EB GAMES

SHART TONS AND TONS AT TIM HORTONS

THEIR ANUS GOES BLART SHOPPING AT WAL-MART

>Tim Hortons
>America

Choose one, monsieur grenouille. There are no Hortons in usa its only canada you sale connard : - )

BUNGHOLE LOOSENESS IN THE BUSINESS

IF YOU HAVE THE GALL
TO RELEASE IT ALL
ON THE FLOOR
OF THE GROCERY STORE
THEN YOU TRULY CAN
CLAIM TO BE AMERICAN