The first thing to your left is all you have to defend yourself for the zombie apocalypse. What is it?

The first thing to your left is all you have to defend yourself for the zombie apocalypse. What is it?

I'll start.T-shirt

Guitar amp.

fleece blanket
>come get a big fucking cup of cozy you undead fucks!

Used sock. Used in both ways.

life-size plush shark

A framed picture of my dead cat (still alive in the pic)

a roll of toilet paper.

looks like i'm going out doing what i do best

my waifu pillow

An old Nokia cell phone. I will survive.

An entire house

A fucking lamp....

which one first...

Glock. Glad I'm at work...

Wall

Some faggot cat.
Am I fucked?..

fucking paper

Im done for

Shitposting?

you dident need to elaborate that the cat was alive in pic i wouldent have guessed otherwise sorry for your loss tho

Some giant fucking armoire.
It has some decent shit in it (ie clothes, water, fap material).

A laser engraver.

My katana collection. Wouldn't help me survive tho, they're all bold as fuck and nothing i ever intended to use beside collecting.

This thing

My grandmother's ashes and a crispy tissue.

Giant book about the 30 years war. Well, at least I can get a couple.

Half a peanut butter sandwich on a piece of paper towel
>you can't bite when your jaw is all gooey

So just make a paper machete or even a paper crossbow

What?

A remote control.
>protip: I'm not Adam Sandler

Are you gay?

I hope there isn't a correlation between the two.

Hitler youth knife

>write a sad story
>it kills itself
>problem solutioned

A sewing machine

Sure thing, pal.

It's a toss up between my tablet and a water bottle. Pretty screwed either way.

Nokia 6600 Slide...

Still use it to this day

A blunt sword.

I keep a baseball bat to the left of me at all times just in case some one makes this shitty thread

checked and kekd

A pillow
>fuck my life

alarm clock. May be useful for a trap of some sort or defense mechanism to lure them away, but not very.

A towel.. gg