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I have goosebumps. This is ABSOLUTE knography
/seagal/
Jace Martin
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Liam Phillips
How could Vinnie Jones go so low?
John Ramirez
Pure kino
Ryder Ross
Based Steven
Eli Ramirez
It's to 21st century cinema what Citizen Kane was to 20th
What a time to be alive
Carter Brooks
He has truly perfected his whisper voice
Christopher Young
>perfected
Aaron Ramirez
He's the Orson Welles of our time
Charles Lee
I have a feeling the out of sync audio is in the actual movie
Zachary Hall
His goatee looks so fucking fake it hurts.
Jayden Cook
He probably has to dye it completely. Otherwise it'd be all white
Andrew Rogers
He dubs some of his late kinos
Leo Miller
DELETE THIS
John Martin
"snatch every motherfucker birthday"
where did this come from?
Nathan Gonzalez
Is it even real? It looks as fake as the """""hair""""" from his head.
Leo Hughes
Who /snatcher/ heya?
Jacob Carter
Who the hell still uses a narrator for their trailers? Embarrassing.
Colton Moore
somebody make a webm please 1:17 to 1:18
Robert Bennett
>knography
What did he mean by this?
Kevin Rodriguez
Unless there's such a thing as facial baldness I think the actual beard is real. His hair's got implants obviously
What the fuck would you do with an implanted goatee? Wear it forever?
Cooper Price
AB SO LUTE MAD MAN
John White
>not knowing the kinography of knowledge, AKA "knography"
capeshit pleb detected
Jacob Myers
He meant that this movie is actually in a whole other level, using the word "kinography" to properly demonstrate it's quality.
This is above your average movies and flicks.
Hudson Long
>"I lost my faith in mankind"
> "gasps for air"
Julian Price
>Redemption is never absolute
What did he mean by this?
Anthony Powell
>What did he mean by this?
A recurring theme in Steven's movies.
Someone once said his hair disappeared when he took a dive. I think it's a hair spray, and his beard resembles the same, uh, "material".
Blake Brooks
>easy, easy, easy
what did he mean by this?
Luke Fisher
>"i want to do one good thing in my life"
>"even if i die in the process"
>implying even one henchman lands a blow on based seagal in this entire film
Aiden Brown
How does this movie tie into the overarching birthday snatcher plot?
Henry Anderson
This is a movie id enjoy on a lazy night in some European hotel.
Theres a timeless comfy about these action movies.
Michael Thompson
Things Steven Seagal claims to be/do:
>-claims it's impossible to knock him out
>-his skin is bulletproof (he's actually claimed this)
>-claims he's a reincarnated Dalai Lama >-invented modern 'Reggae' music
>-fought the Yakuza while being undercover in the American mob
>-one of the world's top 3 foremost experts on ancient swords
>-regrew his hair (he's almost completely bald under the plugs) through 'secret meditation'
>-a Sheriff of Maricopa County
>-was a bodyguard for Martin Luther King Jr.
>-is a top secret US Foreign Negotiator, and has served under 5 consecutive presidents >-was the final student of Morihei Ueshiba, founder of aikido (he would've been like 4 at the time that Ueshiba died)
>-speaks 4 languages fluently (no evidence of this)
>-coached Jimmy Hendrix on slide guitar >-mentored several MMA champions like Anderson Silva
>-secretly works for the CIA as a special agents adviser Truly the most authentic action star in history, just like 'Aikido'
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Daniel Clark
Well... I'm sorry to hear that.
Luke Lee
aaaand he's also the world's foremost authority on wines
lmao
Thomas Cruz
Lets check out his works
en.wikipedia.org
Jace White
Grayson Parker
Someone vandalized that article. Pic related are the actual track names
Colton Howard
>speaks 4 languages fluently (no evidence of this)
Here's #2 at least
Joshua Hughes
What's the deal with that orange glasses? Why does he wear it in every fucking movie?
Benjamin Rodriguez
Aikido is only effective against untrained/unarmed opponents
Literally Krav Maga tier, that's why it's never been used by ANYONE in MMA
Seagal should've never been allowed to coach Silva with his sissy style, NEVER, it's no fucking wonder Silva has lost 4 consecutive fights since Seagal started "coaching" him
Logan Johnson
ME WANT THE POONANI FOR TO MAKE U NICE
ME U, WE CUM ALL NITE
DAT WOULD BE PHAT
Gavin Carter
this movie is basically the-
>this guy comes into a bar and slaps your punanis ass, what do you do?
-scenario played out. that's what happens when you fight. you just can't win because by nature, all punani belongs to Steven "the heavy breathin" Seagal
Nolan Hill
his fighting style is a wonder to behold
im sure he could truly defeat a seasoned muay thai kickboxer (19-1) and black belt 2nd dan shotokan expert (48-3) like jean claude van damme, using only his slapping technique
jcvd wouldnt know what the fuck was coming at him with all those slaps
Andrew Anderson
>Literally Krav Maga tier, that's why it's never been used by ANYONE in MMA
Krav Maga is not bullshit. It's the equivalent of an army's combatives, such as Marine hand-to-hand training, which is is a mix of boxing, judo, and some specific techniques involving a knife and the butt of a rifle. Of course nobody has ever been billed as a "Krav Maga" fighter in the UFC, if you adapted your Krav Maga knowledge to MMA rules it becomes "kickboxing" or "brawling"
Logan Butler
It's like an autist's dream come true. Defending whore, strippers while beating everyone without breaking a sweat.
It's fantastic, really. I wonder what the other actors think of him
Xavier Morris
He should open a martial arts school in russia.
Ryan Gray
>every single movie Steven Seagal uses the Kotegaeshi on every opponent
>in real life it's one of the least effective and easiest move to deflect because it only works if your opponent fully cooperates
Benjamin Robinson
You still sore about those orange glasses???
Wyatt Jackson
What's this fighting style called?
Gavin Hill
stisorebadafitybuks
Joshua Perez
cтивeн cигaл-ryu
Ethan King
wrestling (including vale tudo), judo (including sambo), jiu jitsu (including brazilian) are the most effective grappling styles
a aikidoka would get their neck snapped by a judoka in literally 3 seconds
Xavier Allen
>that lighting, showing where the real hair meets the spray in a can
Brody Reed
kek
Oliver Green
I got a feeling this seagal meme is the work of slavs
Sebastian Young
It's interesting because he has the money to put implants.
Landon Torres
Mwuhahaha the Punani....
Julian Green
wew
Lincoln Brooks
...
Liam Phillips
Krav Maga teaches groin kicks, face slaps, eye gouches, biting, it's basically "dirty tricks" self-defense style, that's why it's obviously not used in MMA at all.
It's used in Israel because it's easy and quick to learn, and women can do it.
Also it's another style, like Aikido, that exclusively works against untrained opponents. There's some good tricks but it's not a real fighting style, it's self defense style.
Marines don't learn Krav Maga btw, they learn CQB which is more much in depth training and strength conditioning.
Justin Reyes
honestly his japanese is fucking horrible
Austin Stewart
the sides are greasy and the top is like astroturf
Julian Clark
That AmA was fantastic.
Robert Morales
holy fucking kek is this real?
Nicholas Evans
>I decided I wanna do one good thing in my life before I die... even if I die in the process
This shit is too much
Jonathan Hernandez
>was a bodyguard for Martin Luther King Jr
Why would anyone boast about that?
Camden Parker
an AMA to rival Tom Hardy's
Jonathan Mitchell
It was fucking sad tbqh
>let's crash his AMA!
>95% of the people in it were from Sup Forums, because nobody else cares about him
Brandon Butler
Gabriel Cooper
My mother worked at a real fancy restaurant in Hollywood that hosted a lot of exclusive Oscar parties back in the 80s. She said that Steven Seagal would often call in and ask if he were invited. He never was.
Austin Howard
film name please
Robert Robinson
>they have guns
>dont try and shoot him until hes like 3 inches away from them
what the fuck am I witnessing here
is this real life
Joseph Anderson
>it's real
Jordan Russell
Why is he the master of voices of accents?
Oliver Flores
u joshing me m8
Connor Morris
Sounds quite good to me. He doesn't completely sound like a little girl either, like most foreigners that speak japanese.
Zachary Diaz
So what are the best martial arts?
Thomas Gomez
no, I've only just been introduced to the true depth of steven's artistic talents
Josiah Russell
hes pretty much essential in slav dadcore
Julian Johnson
so whats his obsession with punani?
Samuel Long
Top tier: Wrestling, Box
Shit tier: rest
Parker Hall
Have we ever determined why Richie did Bobby Lupo?
Elijah Brooks
aikino
There's like a lifetime's worth of keks in seagalposting, the man is a living meme. These are the ones I can recall atm:
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He's got 2 or 3 more films coming this year too. The Sniper one was the first
of 2016
Ethan Wilson
Something to do with his wife
Caleb Green
Why didn't you tell him about the budda nature as well?
Jeremiah Edwards
ISIS BTFO
Christian Garcia
>yes, that is well, my student
>soon you will be ready to wield the weapons of a true warrior
>the bongo drums
Wyatt Smith
>best: muay thai, judo, bjj, boxing, wrestling
>worst: taekwondo, aikido, karate, wing chun, ninjitsu
for mma at least.
for self defense, krav maga and keysi are good to escape situations, but having a striking/grappling training like boxing/wrestling or muay thai/bjj is preferred
Hunter Ward
I'm ready to believe that's true.
Wyatt Collins
Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Iraq. I was schooled in sniper arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “American Sniper.” They have a 5-foot-9-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak arabic. He has never held a sniper rifle. They make him the American Sniper. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs]from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.
Jack Jenkins
It's mostly anything with grappling and strong striking.
People will spout all these different things but at the end of the day certain martial arts were created in specific regions to combat against similar things and they just don't hold up in modern times when there's no region or cultural barrier to learning anymore.
This is also why MMA has become very popular in the last decade. TAPOUT memes aside, it's the best of all worlds and having someone who does MMA VS a traditional martial artist is just a stupid fucking debate.
There is a reason why Bruce Lee regrets the naming of his martial art and started floating towards a more MMA style approach before he died.
Xavier Wilson
What the fuck happened in that scene?
Dominic Bell
>He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak arabic.
one job user
Aaron Gutierrez
i am fucking sorry
Noah Miller
>What the fuck happened in that scene?
A kinographic miracle
Nicholas Harris
>not "I'm sorry to hear that"
TWO jobs, user
John Fisher
Someone post the rape scene please.
Owen Scott
is he ambidextrous? it really confuses me that he sometimes handles the gun with his right and sometimes with his left hand
Justin Evans
Bombing the enemy to pieces from far outside their range. "Martial art" is anything that deals with defeating an enemy, not some fight sport shit, which while probably fun to practice or watch, has little to nothing to do with martial arts. Compare to jousting, which at least worked as preparation for real combat in times of peace.
Andrew Rodriguez
I don't know which scene you mean, but this might as well count
Robert Nguyen
He's multidextrous. He's able to accurately fire any firearm with any one of his five limbs.