Enter bedroom

>enter bedroom
>see this
>wat do?

Shoot the home intruder.

offer her a bowl of eggs and to listen to her problems

Bitch get out of the way, I'm trying to look at my new bedroom renovation!

Look for the dick

...

prematurely ejaculate.

you like that body don't you?

Turn 360 degrees and walk away. I dont do 3DPD.

This.

tell that ignorant useless cunt to stop leaving wet bath towels on the chair and put it in the clothes hamper

no, i just cum every time i walk into another room.

Check PokeGo for nearby pokemon

Tell her to give back my good boy points and the memes she stole.

who wants to see moar?

Realize I intruded her privacy and offer my condolences then teleport behind her with my shadow katana and stab her. Finally saying "get gud kiddo"

duh

how hard is your penis right now?

Bitch! What are you doing wearing my shoes?

"Turn around and face me when I'm talking to you!"

Would I want to fuck her? Absolutely. But it doesn't matter. As soon as she saw me, she'd vomit and run away screaming.

I have an offer for you user. I need to go get something to eat. I will return eventually. If you want to see her face, keep this alive.

When did i get wood floors?

You asking me or her?

Sneak out before she notices I'm in her house

Park my choo choo in her caboose

"my mom has that same shaw"

kill myself, don't know why, but i would.