Hey Sup Forums, let's have a God-tier comedian thread along with your favorite quote by said God-tier comedian, I'll start
>The only excuse you could have for having a fucking baby in those dire, war-torn, famine-struck conditions.......would be to eat it
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- Patton Oswalt
- Dave Chappelle
- Dave Attell
- Jim Norton
- Jim Jefferies
- David Cross
- Bill Maher is very, very underrated. He is so much better at topical humor than anyone that gets more hype, including Jon Stewart. and even if you're a typical conservadouche that expects to hate him because he is a hardcore liberal.....
he is also a hardcore anti-Islam guy. it's awesome seeing him make his own audiences feel butthurt about it. He's consistent in his views, unlike most people.
another Stanhope quote
'There's no such thing as addiction. There's only things you love more than living.'
I like how Stanhope and Johnny Depp bonded over being old coke head drunks
that's funny, I just finished watching Doug Stanhope - no refunds.
One of my faves, not sure if I like that one or Beer Hall Putsch better
Mitch Hedberg is pretty entertaining to me
"like a cyclops in a storm"
'I like fruit on my waffles so I have something to brush off'
He's the best to listen to high af
"My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby."
Anthony Jeselnik
quality list.
lately ive been crying laughing ay ronny cheng I believe his name is, chinese up and comer. michael che, black dude is also hilarious. bill burt is one of a kind and the coolest guy in the world. bobby kelly can be hysterical. rich vos. patrice o neal. colin quinn. Greg giraldo.
just wednesday night I saw ari shaffir, bobby kelly, kurt metzger, couple nobodies, and big jay oakerson at the cellar in Manhattan, that was a great show
"Ambiguity: the devil's volleyball."
Jim Carr is pretty funny
"If you're afraid of paedophiles, grow up."
bill burr* obviously. and I know louis is a given and everyone likes him but still, almost every word out of his mouth is fucking hysterical.
sebastian maniscalco is good, I think thata his name.
on another note, does anyone else hate Bill Hicks and his faggy high school dropout acidhead fans?
these are both me btw I was just adding on to what I was saying
"That's quite a country"
>mfw listen to Joey Diaz podcast and in this thread
...
I'll never not laugh at Norm MacDonald's Albert Fish joke
Fuck yea how was Big Jay? Motherfucker is hilarious
"What's the deal with hard wood floors?"
Joe DeRosa as Seinfeld = best Seinfeld
No one's brought up the Godfather above all God-tiers? Seriously?
>YOU ARE NOW READING EVERYTHING IN MY OBNOXIOUS VOICE
Linger longer faggot
Nopie.
This faggot killed that man show. Fuck you, fuck him, and fuck this shit tier thread.
...
I was surprised he is actually a funny stand-up
Paul F Tompkins
Dan Telfer
Mike Birbiglia
Mitch Hedberg
Hell, Mel and Carl doing the 2000 Year Old Man is always funny.
>was pretty entertaining
>Paul F Tompkins
MY NIGGA
joeys my fucking spirit animal
George Carlin
Bill Burr
Louis C.K.
Robin Williams
My Cake Boss
The GOD
David Mitchell, obvs. Pretty much anything he does solo or with Webb is fucking hilarious.
omg that fucking guy tho. too hilarious
Louie, of course.
towards the end he should have spent more time making jokes than preaching.
>bill hicks was better
thank you for posting this. maybe not the best stand up but definitely the best comedic mind of all time
"That should be the anti-speeding advert, it should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding"
sshhh dont tell him
Have you ever been to the holocaust museum. No? Well let me tell you its like a nike factory there just pumping out shoes.-Anthony Jeselink
no i think with age men tend to feel the urge to pass on knowledge, and he was good at it, and even still funny at the same time.
Chris Morris was funnier.
totally understand that need. it's actually kind of sad in a way because i get the idea watching his later stuff that he knew he was on the way and he was desperately trying to put his ideas out there before it was too late
still though
strictly as stand up is concerned, the job is to make people laugh. i think as he got older that became less important
if bill hicks didn't become alex jones, i could see his career following that same trajectory
Jim Norton: "I just want someone with a cunt to have lunch with me."
I immediately heard him ranting about the fabled fourth hole.
I was pulled over for speeding. The cop said I was going too fast. He said the speed limit was 40 miles an hour. I said I wasn't gonna be out that long