"not slytherin.. not slytherin.."

>"not slytherin.. not slytherin.."
>"NOT SLYTHERIN, EH?!"

Why did the Sorting Hat literally shout that in front of Slytherin House?

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He was a cunt

He doesn't actually shout, all the conversation happens in Harry's head.

>hat sorts you
>choose a different house anyway
What's the point

So, you wouldn't protest if the hat put you in Hufflepuff?

>sorting
>not hufflepuff not hufflepuff
>well you browse /r9k/ and are staring at that cute muggle girl
>better put you in the retard no password or riddle house
>unlike harry potter who had personality from both houses so i took his thoughts into consideration

HUFFLEPUFF

>symbolism about how destiny isn't real and you are the master of your fate
>how you don't have to accept things just like they are

it ties with the overall theme of Harry being the chosen one

Because Harry Potter was easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King

>"hey lets have a containment house for all the asshole kids"
>"brilliant idea, what could go wrong"

Hell no.

Hufflepuff bitches best bitches.

Worst part about Rowling's treatment of Slytherin was that she didn't begin to humanize them until the second last book of the series and after she became filthy fucking rich, what a coincidence I guess.

Nah senpai, Hufflepuff is based as fuck.

But Harry's personality was Gryffindor. Any Slytherin traits that hat read came the part of Voldemort's soul stuck inside.

Why the fuck would you want to be in Griffendoor? They are like the Dallas Cowboys of Hogwarts Houses

Remainder that snape is a cuck

You obviously never payed much attention to his characterization through the series.

>hey let's put everybody that has traditional wizarding values in one house
>why do all of the houses disagree with us? it must be the mudbloods.
Slytherin was retarded

I would protest if I was put into ravenclaw. That's some nerd shit.

I thought Spielberg refused to direct after Rowling vetoed the idea of filming in America with American actors. Not enough jewish actors in Britain I suppose

>Have to climb to the tallest tower
>Need to guess some "clever" (shitty) riddle to enter
>Full of asian tryhards

So whats the deal with ravenclaw and hufflepuff.. what "traits" did you need to be in either of those houses?

Slytherine - Be a upperclassed ethan cunt
Griffindoor - Be a underdog good guy with deprived lifestyle

Jewish people don't want to work with muslims so they can't film in Britain

His personality had both.

He has cunning, resourcefulness, and ambition

(tricked better wizards/used hermione/became top level auror)

he also has courage, chivalry, and determination

(stood against voldy / treated lessers as equals / never gave up)

Chivalry was the hardest to think of examples for, and that's a gryf trait.

*cucklepuff

Hufflepuff - normal people without arch nemeses
Ravenclaw - have black hair

Ravenclaw - be smart

Hufflepuff - be normal

Why does it bother you so much that people enjoy something you think is inferior?

Also nice pasta m8

>Slytherin - Put ones self, tradition and wizard kind first.
>Ravenclaw - Put intelligence & logic first.
>Gryf - Put bravado first
>Hufflepuff - Put good boy points first (or nature)

Should of merged Hufflepuff with Slytherin.

The school shooters would have kept Slytherin in check.

Supposedly Ravenclaw is for hardcore nerds but even Dumbledore was in Gryffindor and he invented a fuckton of spells. Hufflepuff's are just normies who smoke weed and have sex. Cedric Diggory was in Hufflepuff

The Great Gatsby was boring af

>Atlas shrugged above 1984

disregarded pasta... maybe Maltagliati

The Great Gatsby was supposed to be boring. It showed off how vapid and pointless the 1920's were.

My question then is why isnt hermonie in Ravenclaw.. didnt the sorting hat shout griffindor without even touching her head?

Atlas Shrugged was pretty much the same as 1984 though

Not a britbong here, what was the "joke" of the sorting hat supposed to be? Was it a metaphor for how british boarding schools are all about headmasters raping little boys?

slytherin - le master race, muh pure blood - Sup Forums
hufflepuff - failures, retards, not fitting in anywhere - /r9k/
gryffndor - chad
ravenclaw - that kid who talked about how he got accepted into harvard / that kid who brags about his SAT score in college

Normies go in Gryf

Hufflepuff is for autists not normies.

Cedric was ONE hufflepuff; the other house quidditch teams were slaying ass.

Also WIT is ravenclaws most prized thing, so you had to be funny off the cuff, a quick thinker if you will.

She would have been torn apart in Ravenclaw most likely, the competition to be the smartest brown-nose teachers pet would have been too fiercely contested.
And she'd probably be all huffy and depressed if she wasn't #1.

Hat pretty much gave her a house of tards so she would be easily satisfied.

Because she was brave and muggleborn and a main character.

>Slytherin turned out to be the good guys all along.
I'm seeing a correlation

Doesn't make the book any better

>The Great Gatsby

Sounds like the thought process of Moot.

Because plot convenience. There's not a whole lot of consistency on anything in HP.

...

>books are only good if they have le ebin quips
>>>/capeshit/

Hufflepuff=high test
Canonically they have the most disciplinary problems with sexual magic

So they should be the same tier at least.

She's literally the bravest wizard in the HP universe (aside from harry); she cares for the lesser creatures (elves) and she was so determined to see harry win she memory wiped her family (brave again)

No.

A ravenclaw invented the Love potion.

stop trying to make hufflepuff good in anyway, they were the shit house, which is why Cedric was such a big deal.

Cedric was based as fuck. Got to fuck prime asian pussy, memed all over the chosen one, immortalized by dying to the greatest dark wizard of all time.

...

Slytherin >> Ravenclaw >> Hufflepuff >> Gryffindor

I say Hufflepuff is better than Gryffindor because it seems really laid back and nothing much happens. Much easier to go on the down low and just jerk off to porno mags and make date rape potions

You mean that liberal rag?

Stop making shit up to make Hufflepuff look bad.

Cedric was a big deal but part of that is because we get fuck all insight into Hufflepuff in the books. Fucking hell, it's not like Neville was in Hufflepuff.

The problem is that we don't see almost any hufflepuff student, mainly because a lot of hufflepuff meat end in other houses. Example given: Ron parents and Neville.

Exactly.

Cedric was based.

Hufflepuff = a shit

That's why they all loved Cedric so much; in the goblet of fire book there's some dude in hufflepuff from harry's year (ernie?) that's all "i'm going to tell cedric who's name is in goblet" (paraphrasing) like some hero worshiping faggot.

Imagine being aged 17-18 and having some faggy 14 year old come tell you how great you are all the time.

>Stop making shit up to make Hufflepuff look bad.

What did I make up?

A ravenclaw literally invented the love potion

harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Laverne_de_Montmorency

>Neville

He was far to brave to not be a Gryf.

Far too dumb you mean

>hurr durr i tease magic nazis into torturing me with the curse that made my parents go catatonic for life, look how brave i am!

Pretty sure he shouts it, Harry could clearly hear what the hat was saying when the previous girl before him was up there.

>immortalized by dying to the greatest dark wizard of all time

Peter Pettigrew?

>be the best student at your magic school
>can't dodge a killing curse or duel a fat retard

Just shows you how useless most Hogwarts students are.

Yep that's how it is in the movie, which his fucking retarded. In the book it's a voice inside his head.

what if one year all the kids who attended just happened to be in one house? or the vast majority at least, would you have the massive discrepancy in sizes or would they force them to be more even?

Dumbledore tells everyone he died to Voldy

I'm fat as shit and Hufflepuff is next to the kitchen, hell no I wouldn't protest. They also got the most fine women I'll never have.

I think the hat forces them to be more even, there are 5 girls and 5 boys each year in each house.

But no one believed Dumbledore, the public only started believing the story once Harry gave an interview to Rita Skeeter, and Harry told the entire story, not the Dumbledore approved version.

Because he doesn't care, what are they going to do, fire him? Nigga has better job security than anyone there.

That's most definitely Gryff mentality. A Huff would have been smarter and stayed out of harms way.

>They also got the most fine women I'll never have.

lel what

Pretty much the only Hufflepuff girl that was described was fat and dumb

but isn't the house supposed to go on the personality of the kid? there's no possible way that every year would have around equal personality types again and again

and if it does 'force' some kids into houses that they rightly shouldn't be in then what's the point of the hat in the first place?

The kids are pre-sorted prior to admission, the school selects a quota for each house in order to keep the system going. Harry was allowed to pick his house because he was a celebrity.

>but isn't the house supposed to go on the personality of the kid?

Yes, but what do you know, most 11 year olds don't really have developed personalities and can probably fit in most houses.

> there's no possible way that every year would have around equal personality types again and again

True, but Rowling made it that way.

DELETE THIS

Hufflepuff is obviously the party house
think about it
>huff
>le
>puff

here's a tip
the mushrooms are ACTUALLY magic
don't eat too many of them

>implying the hat doesn't just rewrite the personality of whoever wears it to match the house he/she was arbitrarily assigned to

That's a good point

Yeah Hufflepuff is the hippie DUDE WEED LMAO house, even their head of house is teaching Herbology, dumb fucking shits.

>there are 5 girls and 5 boys each year in each house.
Are the houses really that small?

...

You make them sound like a rageface memeing big bad wolf

>and after she became filthy fucking rich, what a coincidence I guess.

Meh, she made Harry filthy rich in the first book and Voldemort's family was poor as fuck, Slytherin isn't necessarily the rich people's house.

Yes

Hello?

a rageface memeing big bad badger, actually
a rageface memeing big bad badger with a mild substance abuse problem

because it had... AUTISM!

hahahhaha LOL

kek

He killed nagini (snek) with a fuckin sword brave af (not in film ;_;)

God damn is /lit/ one of the shittiest boards on this website. Full of elitist pretentious neckbeards who unironically think shit like Great Gatsby and fucking Atlas Shrugged is the pinnacle of literature.

40 kids in year
10 bravest gryf
10 smartest raven
Etc

stereotypical badger
youtube.com/watch?v=dsBO2q7NHGM

Its huff and puff coz they overweight

Literally all the fat kids are in hufflepuff
Hufflepuff has no password or riddle because it is retard house

Bravery is the virtue of the dumb and weak.

Want the truth? The real answer? All 4 main characters would be from each house

Harry: Griffindor
Ron: Hufflepuff
Hermione: Ravenclaw
Malfoy: (He changes sides early enough): Slytherin

But Rowling, early in development, realized it would be hard for people from different houses to meet.

Ravenclaw is definitely the Asian house.

>Hufflepuff

>Next to the kitchen
>Never tied up in any of this dramatic bullshit
Pretty good deal desu

They literally have a conversation about this very topic at the end of the second film. I know its hard but try to ignore your phone while you are watching the movie.

Harry should've been in Slytherin, Hermione should've been in Ravenclaw and Ron should've stayed in Griffindor so we wouldn't have had that "lol everyone in Slytherin is evil :^)" shit. The pottervese is actually interesting. Too bad it was in the hands of an unimaginative hack.

Reminder that Cedric has canonically lost a quidditch match to Malfoy.

You can't get more pathetic than that.