Ask a former personal chef anything

Ask a former personal chef anything

how do i make scrambled eggs?

how hard do you bang sheep?

How much did you get paid?

why's come only dead girls make my dick hard as of late?

Bring your eggs to room temp before you crack them. Don't over eat them before you put them in a med-hot nonstick or cast iron pan. And for gods sakes use a silicon spatula. Grind in some pepper and go on your way. Take them off a few seconds before they are done to your liking. They will keep cooking even afte they are off the heat.

Flat $150 usd a service plus $20 per guest. They paid for ingredients.

You watch too much porn dude. Take a 40 day hiatus.

Have u ever rolled up fresh pre-cooked veal and fucked it like a fifi?

Not as hard as I bang your sister.
(My mom just died. Not making mom jokes for a while)

No. Id die before I had something pre-cooked in my kitchen.

RIP

Did you take culinary arts?

thank you. I'm now making eggs for breakfast.

No, but I did live in Italy for a summer with a lady who ran a b&b. She taught me everything in exchange for working. I studied politics in college

Is being a chef anything like the movie Chef by Jon Favroux?

Currently reducing a sauce for porkbelly.
>drippings from roasted porkbelly
>thyme
>4 heads of roasted garlic
>white wine
>homemade fried turkey stock

Your job consists of doing something that almost every functioning, post-pubescent human does several times a day to avoid dying.

Does that make you feel like a joke, or does it make you feel like whoever pays you to cook for them is a joke?

Nah. It's a lot of work for the $, really. The only bonus is that I basically ate free every day. I also had a room in their mansion but i had my own place. I only ever stayed there if I had a late dinner service and I was making breakfast the following moening.

Or When I was fucking the au pair

Dude like 5% of the people on earth can cook like me. I'm not bragging.. It's just truth. it's artistry. Not everyone who has ever painted a house can paint the Sistine chapel.

Did you get fired or quit?

how much profit do you get in proportion of the dish made

I got sick of being the help. They begged me to stay. I still cook for them on occasion but I have a regular full time job. I miss it sometimes, even tho they were ungrateful rich assholes

100%. I had a credit card to pay for ingredients. They just paid the bills no matter what I got no questions asked

nice

why did you quit?

Are you a poopsmoker?

I wanted a life. I cooked for them 4 or 5 nights a week and lunch just about every day. Lunch was family of 4 plus the housekeepers and Gardener. I was totally the help. Well paid help but help none the less.

No I get high on life. And occasionally paint fumes.

Your job was cake.

Working for someone else will always suck regardless

aka OP is a joke and fag

>Master chef here, I know how to boil water and put things in it and then eat them better than everyone else, hurrrrrrrr

> chef
> Wendy's

Yeah dude it was pretty easy, but I was on my feet for 6-10 hours a day and had to shop and clean my own kitchen. It's not like I had sious

do you have one of those amazing austrailian accents like the one in the outback commercial

the only way I can see to improve that is to own your own kitchen, which means you wouldn't be working for someone else.

I suppose if you got head chef somewhere else, you wouldn't have to clean, but you'd also be held responsible for their fuck up's.

Nah I work a cushy white collar job now. I make more and work way less. Funny tho, my food standards have gone way down because my time is more valuable.

You fucked the au pair?

Yep. She was flirty and cute and Swedish and occasionally would help me out in the kitchen if she didn't have shit to do with the kids. One night I had to stay late and she came in to my room to "talk."

In typical Swedish form she had on a tank top and no bra. Then some cute ass shorts. It didn't take long for her to be sucking the D. She spent the night with me that night and many nights. Always asked me to cum in her ass or mouth so she didn't get pregs. Oh by the way I found out after like 3 months she was 17. Whoops.

eh it was a few days off...

right?