NEET who lives with parents they are making me go to church tomorrow but I am a closet atheist what do?

NEET who lives with parents they are making me go to church tomorrow but I am a closet atheist what do?

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Sit quietly until it's over then leave. You'll get free alcohol if you do it right

fair enough but still anything i can do to minimize self hatred from the priest/preacher

Loudly declare that you worship the Dark Lord Satan. Get kicked out of church, not invited back. Problem solved.

remove homphobic bible verses from all the bibles in all the pews
>bonus points let all the homophobic verses from every bible dissolve in the holy water on your way out

that may be difficult considering 700 people can fit in said church

listen and learn moral values

try not giving a shit. Why is everyone so goddamn wired to take so much shit to heart?

Priest molests children and has a torture fetish, his words mean nothing.

Shit in your hand and dump it in the collection plate!

Print this out and hand out free copies to all women in the church

freethoughtnation.com/what-does-the-new-testament-say-about-women/

Wait wait wait! Cook up some nice chicken tendies and leave a handful in the collection plate. Forget the poop thing.

Sit quietly and pretend like you care. Doing anything to to upset your parents or cause a scene benefits you in no meaningful way. Sit down, shut up and smile at anybody that makes eye contact. Boring but easy.

you mean you're a closet edgelord. You live with your parents so it doesn't matter what you believe. You will do what they want you to do until you find your own place to live.

Go and sit through it.

The least you can do for the people who gave time, money, and energy, to raise your worthless ass is honor their painless request to attend fantasy hour with them.

just ask them why they worship a dead kike on a stick. be a man

Go since you're mooching off of them

come out the closet, faggot

remind them that in Isaiah 43:10-13, God himself says there is no savior and all men must contact God directly. Ergo, Jesus Christ was, by default, a false prophet. Much hair pulling and stammering will follow

Fucking this, overreacting is for women.

keep a few mentos in your mouth. when the preacher man starts to deliver his bullshit story lines take a big swig of coke or pepsi and let the foam spray everywhere.

I'm trying to weasel ny way out not oust myself as edgelordatheist.png

...

go! i like to go to church every once in a while. its neat to see what other humans actually believe. black churches are very interesting to go to. mosques are interesting as well.

Spend time with ur parents. You aren't gonna be brainwashed and start going to church. Be on lookout for some easy church girl gash, tell them you lost your faith lately....::more bs talking:::.....blowjob....

consider it like a safari
make it clear to your parents you dont really believe in god, but that you respect their decision to and appreciate the sense of community the church provides, that will keep them off your asshole

>closet athiest
so pathetic. much worse than any edgy faggotry

Best advice is to stop being a fucking NEET. You could try fake sick. If you're a lonely no friend virgin fag you could try to play along and integrate yourself into the church community and attempt to get with church hoes. Everyone knows church has the best hoes.

best sluts*

Just pretend it's an adult D&D session.

>Use his presentation to analyze your beliefs (contasts, parallels, whatnot...)
>Psychoanalyze the Bible
>Play the quiet game and win that shit
>draw on the little envelopes
>make origami with said envelopes
the possibilities are endless, use your imagination.

How many tendie points Is she giving you to go?

Go, listen to their arguments
Decide how and why you disagree
Understand religion so you can debate with religious people
Affirm your own atheist beliefs by hearing the opposing viewpoint and staying firm in your beliefs