Nothing fucking special here.
I'm drunk, gave myself a minor cut just to see if I still had the balls to mutilate myself.
Fucking depressed as fuck.
Just do what you do best and tell me to kill myself plus various epithets.
Little about me to make it easier:
> 27
> Amerifat
> 330 lbs (150kg)
> decent job with awesome benefits
> no matter what feel pathetic and worthless
> listens to metal
That should be more than enough to tear into me, so do what Sup Forums does beat and fucking do it.
Other urls found in this thread:
Do you have anything meaningful to say? This is just you projecting your fears and insecurities on me.
This is now a FEELS thread
If I had anything meaningful to say, hell, if anyone had anything meaningful to say, would they really waste it here? In the asshole of the internet?
That's just more nonsense. I have encountered far more stimulating debate and discussion on 4chins than anywhere else ever.
>Implying I'd even attempt this in the first place. Too much of a failure to try.
Here's some meaningful shit I forgot to mention:
I'm a male user and bisexual
Enjoy your chimpout. Tell me my sexuality doesn't exist.
...
I never got why people cut themselves... explain to me OP, does crying in your bed everynight before sleep isn't enough to feel sorry for yourself?
I don't feel sorry for myself, actually. I feel sorry that I don't suffer more. Cutting helps make me more undesirable, thus keeping me alone and away from people who like or worse, actively want me to be happy.
wtf dude, i mean, i've got a friend that's going through a rough patch on his life so this kinda helps me to help him. Tell me, what took to this place, is it friends? family? just plain personality that drove off people? is it genetical?
Possibly genetics. My dad is a complete hermit and has been on disability since he was 35 for'agoraphobia and claustrophobia'. Honestly I think he only did it so he could piss away his life drinking and now the alcohol has fucked him up so much that it doesn't matter if he was faking at first.
My mom is a flat out drunk and has been in multiple car wrecks, half of which she was driving, and half of that she fucked herself up (scarring road rash on her arm, broke her neck).
I really feel like I should have been aborted. But the truth is I wouldn't exist if my dad didn't force my mom off of birth control and basically rape her.
I'm clearly a goddamned mistake and keeping myself out of the genepool is the least I should be doing for the world.
>does crying in your bed everynight before sleep isn't enough to feel sorry for yourself?
that's not the purpose
mini cuts like thoses give you endorphines
Ok thats really something that you can tell the why, most people just go around and give up just like that. Cant you try and work on this issues? like the idea most people get when their parents are awful persons and they try to be something better than them?
im honestly asking, what stops you? you've got the money, you have the motivation. what stops you other than yourself?
Or at least sting and hurt enough to remind you that's all you deserve.
You got a well payed job→start exercising, what was it you wanted to achieve in your live?
no that's just you faggot
It's just myself. But as life as shown, yourself is the strongest obstacle. No one even bothers to help someone who won't help themselves.
And I will most likely NEVER help myself cos I fucking despise my entire existence and will stop at nothing to suffer as long as possible.
Which naturally means suicide is out. That would be a fucking vacation for me.
So I ask you, user, how do you save someone who deliverately destroys themselves?
Not just that they don't help themselves, but they use all of their internal resources to ensure they stay miserable?
You know the answer I have found? You don't help them. You leave them be cos you don't waste yourself on a lost cause.
I am a lost cause, user.
I want to be a well known musician. I have written a few things, but I feel like it is non potential crap.
Not just me, given that behaviour is documented in the DSM.
And I don't remember anyone ever studying me specifically.
Try harder.
Any vids? For what instruments?
BOOO FREAKING FUCKING HOOO
You're just making excuses to keep on living like that, because that's the easy way out.
You have the means and the fucking purpose to keep on existing, otherwise you've terminated yourselve a long time ago.
You want to keep living, fucking faggot.
Go to counseling, get on some antidepressant shit and things will get better because you'll feel better. It's all an your brain and that shit will rewire the roads that always lead to it
All my recordings are on guitar/bass. Here my drive:
https
drive
.google
.com
/folderview
?id=0B_u
UJ0-ZKKFjNmY
0YVB6RWVzLTg
(reassemble)
It's minimally organised, but fuck it, it's all shite any way.
But why would I do that when I want to be miserable and suffer? I only want to live so I can torture myself more.
Have you shown those to anyone yet?
Because you don't enjoy it! If you had, lets say... a constant allergy, like sneezing n shit all the time. If you could mitigate it or cure it, you wouldnt have to carry on tissues all the time. You get it?
Im not trying to change your lifestyle, but certainly say that you are like a junkie.
And junkies either die of an overdose or get clean...
Just... think about it, you have the means to recover, and it'll be a tremeendouuus change in your life
I post some of my lyrics to facebook, but I post so many other lyrics that I'm sure they assume it's from a band and not me.
The recordings, I have let some people listen to them, but I shut them out the second they start saying "it's good" cos I assume they're lying. Then I proceed to make myself feel awful for wasting their time
I'm fucking scared to be happy. I don't know how to handle it. The last time I started to feel a little better (due to the relationship I was in), I attempted suicide when a small bump came up (not rehearsal, I mean in ICU for three days attempting).
So it leaves me a little scared. What if I start to feel better only to snap and attempt suicide again?
Well, then on that I ask you. Have you ever tried to talk to a psycologist? What country are you from (approximately)?
Who did you show them to? Good friends, or just some guys you know? To be honest, I believe your stuff has potential, I would not call it perfect, I can hear alot of anger and pain in your style, what isn't necessaraly bad, record your feelings, but do not let them take over. Go on recording, concentrate on your job, be succesfull, start working out believe me, it's hard at the beginning, but you will feel the rewards after some time of you pursue that goal. Maybe try a bit of Therapy along the way. That's my honest advice
I don't care if you know where I live: Twin Falls, Idaho USA.
I have seen a couple psychologists (willigly) and one time ended in disaster.
I was basically called a horrible person for seeing nothing wrong with premarital sex. During a group therapy session. And the therapist unprofessionally agreed. I thinl I was more insulted that drunks and meth addicts were calling me terrible.
I saw one in Texas when I lived there, but I just couldn't afford him anymore.
I'm thinking about trying again now that I have fucking awesome benefits at my job. But it goes back to be being scared about how I might conduct myself if progress is made.
I appreciate you taking the time, user. Yeah the recordings aren't perfect as I am saving up to get the software and hardware to effectively sweeten and blend my tracks better.
Loke I told the other user, I'm really scared what might happen if I actually start to feel better.
I might be fucking miserable right now, but I'm alive cos I feel like I don't deserve to kill myself. But what if as I'm starting to finally love myself, the first thing I do is end my life?
I really like your "Calm Shit" and "Riff" in Originals. I might keep these. I just started playing guitar a few months ago.
You're definitely welcome to it. What good is crwativity if you can't share it?
You see, bitch? Everyone's got their demons. but the fact that you are considering going back leaves a tiny ray of hope that you must fucking exploit!
Go to a psychologist, be fucking honest with him, tell him aaaall thats going on with you to shorten the sessions and let him derive you to someone who can give you meds. Thats the only way to get you on the right track! Because obviously there's something off in your brain like happens with aaaall the people suffering from depression.
You will see no need to kill yourself when you can love yourself an are proud of what you do op. Believe me
Dude user you are awesome. And if only you could see that too. No homo. But for real I think if you give life and love and happiness a chance it might give a chance as well
I'll most likely schedule an appointment in Monday and use some of my cheque to make it happen. I have an idea of what would help a bit.
I really hope so, user. As much as this shitstorm in my mind is a comfort zone of sorts, I fucking hate living like this.
We'll see what happens with a visit to a doctor. There's definitely something wrong with my brain that's more than circumstantial. I have had feeling like this since I was 8.
I'm a newfag (3 months) and I am shocked no one has said a single fuxed up thing in this thread. Hope restored
I guess it ruins the fun when I feel so fucked I started the thread begging for fucked up shit. I dunno.
...
Do it, bitch, fucking do it. You'll know when you start to feel better that it's not that scary, and that it will pay off.
i need views pls
youtube.com
naah, dude, just embrace the feeling of motivation and keep on living, motherfucker
One more thing user. Please just fucking give yourself a chance and fuck anyone who would have you believe you aren't worth the trouble.
This is it man.
One chance
Do not miss your opertunity
This comes once In a lifetime.
But really if you had one life to live (spoiler, you do) what would you do?
Dicks out for harambe
It's gonna be fucking difficult, but it really helps to know stranger, Sup Forumsros of all, are supportive. I want to break that mental barrier so I can actually finish a song and produce it. I want to start a bandcamp and possibly make a good living as a studio musician at least.
I'm just a piece of shit chef at a Korean restaurant but if it means anything; I believe you can
...
You're taking the time to tell someone you don't know anything besides what's in this thread about that you believe in them. It actually means quite a bit that you believe in me.
That is fucking epic, user. Helped me take the edge off a bit. I saved that shit too
Goodnight Sup Forumsro glad it made a difference. Take care
It was posted a few days ago. Fuckjng gold