Cops arrested me after I got caught for motor vehicle theft...

Cops arrested me after I got caught for motor vehicle theft. I managed to smuggle my cell phone to this prison cell by putting the phone in my asshole and giving my 2nd spare phone to the idiots. Any tips what I should do to get out of here?

escape.

call 911

that would be fun, but then u will have no phone :P

kill self, post resutls.aedgrfgq

also check em

000-54564-555

234-555

order pizza
have the delivery guy help you get out

OooooPs!

YGJI-8329-00-4

good Im glad a stupid paki fuck like you got caught stealing

enjoy time in jail faggot

what country, user?
must not be burgerland cuz no niggers

Finland

mitä yritit pölliä :D

what kind of car did they accuse you of stealing? anything nice?

can you smoke in jails there?
maybe for a hustle you could videotape other prisoners having sex and upload it to the cloud for them to view after they get out

also, you can call a bail bonds man. Did they tell you what it'll cost to make bail?

I've been stealing cars for a living but this time I fucked it up cuz I went for a risky move and tried to steal a Ferrari 458. It was the only black Ferrari in this city so cops found it out too easy.

Wait did you stick a iphone shaped phone in your ass, and what do you do you go Sup Forums. Fucking hell

tell us about the arrest, user, what happened, allegedly?

Tried to steal a Ferrari.

So far seems I cant. I just got here an hour ago.

>It was the only black Ferrari
kek
knew a guy that had a ferrari. He was going lord knows how fast on the freeway in the early morning and passed the cops like they were standing still. He thought he got away with it, until they nabbed him at a stoplight 15 minutes later. He had probably the only red ferrari in the city, much less at that time of the morning. I've no idea how he thought they wouldn't notice him.

what type of cars do you usually steal?
how many does 1 car usually bring you in terms of profit?

what the fuck is going on in this thread...

ei ehkä paras veto, pölliä ferraria suomessa.. mut kokemusta rikkaampana :D

Did you have the keys? How hard is it to get a late model car like that with the security features, or do you just strictly get ones you can obtain a key for?

What are they worth when you sell them? In the US, back around 1990, a stolen car was worth....I think $300 cash or weed, something ridiculously small like that.

You didn't sneak your phone in.
You're allowed to have your phone in holding cells.
Lying piece of garbage.

Mostly German cars, I get paid by Russian mafia usually 5k euros per car.

Don't have keys but the Russian mafia buys these which they sell for oligarchs. They like new German cars usually but this time the mafia requested me to steal a Ferrari for a customer in Moscow.

this, how could your phone be working if it got covered in poop. also no smartphone is thin enough to fit up your asshole

how did you get it started?
why drive it instead of just towing it or something like that? that seems to be the hot ticket to stealing cars in the US, last I heard.

was 5k euros really worth going to prison for? next time negotiate a higher rate , you know they probably are selling the car for like 150,000 euro right

Timestamp or take picture of your little finger in the picture

OP goes around stealing cars with a smartphone up his ass.

what does your timestamp say? we dont read finnish. is that toothpaste you used? what part of finland? i didnt know people even drove ferraris in finland, seems like the weather would destroy them

ok i figured it out, op is a faggot CO. get riddled.

Steals 60k car and gets 5k

Bad choices.

you wont get more than that no matter where you go. thats solid money for a nights work. be serious.

suomi homo:D::D

Great job posting a confession online

you just said you stole a rare care worth 250K+, and you only were asking for 5k in payment. you could have parted it out yourself with a wrench and made more. for fucks sake, just selling the set of wheels and tires online would net you over 5k easily

5k?
yeah its good money

id steal about 4-5 cars and call it a career
and then end it there before i got caught

take those 20-25k i just made and invest it in a starter company or someshit
maybe a down payment for a shitty house or a new car

I dont give a fuck you stupid asshole just tell me how to get the fuck out of this shit

Niggers in london chopshops would probably pay more than that. But their niggers, so there we go.

nigger im not op. but id much rather sell it for 5K instead of sitting on stolen goods trying to part it out

You dont. Thats the funny part.

Same pictures were posted on Finnish chan earlier with a different reason. derp derp.

OP, I don't know how you can get out, but I congratulate you on posting a thread from in jail. +1 Internet for you.

Maybe you can call the mafia guys and ask them for help. At least if you stay in prison you can find some Russians and see if they will help you do bigger crimes in the future

fake a medical emergency. like chest pains or something. escape from hospital is your only choice

It's quite simple. Don't do or say anything until you got good legal advise. Get a lawyer. Behave yourself. What's the lowest punishment for car theft in your country?

In most of Europe it's like what, a few weeks?

Better your life and become a good citizen. If what you said is true, you certainly got the wits and guts to be succesful in normal every day life too.

Tell cool prison stories to your grandchildren later, too.

Also, calling others an asshole isn't nice, you know. Not even for a criminal.

ask th russians for help
im pretty sure Nico belic has experience with this Kind of situations

kek
basement dwellers think stolen cars are worth a lot of money wholesale. They're not. 5k is excellent money for something you just fucking stole. You take what you can get, dummies.

Stolen guns are cheap as shit, too, at least in the US.

Underrated

make a deal with the Police,
you give them the russian mafia
if they let you out
kek

order pizza, when delivery guy comes to your cell, punch him out, switch clothes with him and leave him in the cell. walk out of jail and when passing the guards say "looks like it was just a prank call, no one here ordered pizza"

You're not fooling anybody OP. We know thats the "special room" mommy built for your tantrums.

Also, have fun with the extra 3 months when they find the contraband phone, fucktard.

this, police will do anything to get bigger fish

Call them and ask them if they have Battletoads

how did you get started on stealing cars?

You watch too much television. Maybe they'll get Ice tea on it?

>new car gets stolen
Shiiiiiiiit

I work with these people, they never learn, they are not necesarily stupid, but they can never learn.

It's a prison... not easy to escape. The best thing to do would get a cop come over there and say that you found a phone lying under the bed matress. This will make the cops trust you and if you make them like you your jailtime might decrease

>Ice Tea

You're probably right. I just wanted to give op the benefit of the doubt, just 'cause he's a bro. But you're probably right.

Niko is Bulgarian

best advice in thread so far, OP you can probably be outta there in 30 minutes

Undo the light or smash it post results

Because they'd just let the fucking pizza guy walk into the cell

its finland

OP are you still there? i have some ideas but dont want to waste time if you left. post a cell pic with response so we know its you

yo OP come back we can figure something out

Order donuts to be delivered to the cops.

bump for OP

DESERVED
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V
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D

you dont???

what are you gonna do when the battery dies??? you didnt happen to shove a charger up your ass did you???

Nico Bellic has no nationality you stupid fucks

Is that too long ago for you to remember that it NEVER got specified? He is most likely serbian but it always was the talk about "east europe" and no exact country.

>bulgarian
>kek

Greetings from the outside im honored to be here for your last moments on Sup Forums for the next 2.5 years

...

Yeah all of you who steal shit and break into people's property can just go fucking die.
You're worthless scum.
So either change your life and improve yourself, or stay locked up where you won't negatively affect other lives, and die knowing you will be despised and forgotten in time.

Dude it's obviously a Finn.

where are you prisoner? answer!!!!!!!!!

ANSWER OP

or less

high heat,
low price
such is deal

OH SHIT
>singles of proof

I think OP is kill. Hefty sentencing for being caught with a cellphone in there asking how to break out

He was speaking Bulgarian

if its his first offence and he can show he's an opportunity thief and not a career criminal hell probably get out in a few days and a month of community service

Do the following
>shut the fuck up
>get a lawyer

You are your own worst enemy right now.

kek

OP you criminal scum show yourself!!!!

are you retarded?

> 20-25k

Nigga you ain't investing in shit with that little. New house my ass - do you live in fucking Cleveland or somewhere?

who wants to bet OP got caught playing angry birds and they took his phone

just say you are an asylum seeker and claim to be a minor. problem solved.

Banging on the door yelling "yo why ain't this place a pokestop?"

You got a cell to yourself? That bed looks comfy as fuck compared to what I got when I was in, are you in gen pop? I got a mattress half the size and didn't get a pillow when i went in, had to use toilet paper for a pillow.

>5% down on first time homebuyer loan
>~400-500k
>baitsucks