ITT: We work in the same office

ITT: We work in the same office

Shut up john!

Dammit, Scatterbrain Jane!

Hey, you guys have the case of the Mondays?

*farts loudy*

i know u did it fat pig. 10 bucks and i wont tell

did what? i dont need your money anyway

*Watches porn with Full volume don't realising that the headset is Not plugged in*

heyyyy, buddy, can i borrow your account?

To: All staff
Subject: Bathroom etiquette
Hey everybody! Just a quick reminder that after the events of last Friday with Scatterbrain Jane, it is against company policy to carve glory holes in the bathroom stalls.
Sincerely, Jenifer in HR

no no. u give me 10 bucks so that i dont tell. damn, mike. u are one stupid fag...

Somebody ate my sandwich. I had a BLT I made this morning and I put it in the fridge. Who's going to own up? I won't be mad; it's just disrespectful and I'd like an apology.

*leans back and pretends to be asleep just so everyone would fuck off*

''What porn site is that, John?''

*pulls out assault rifle* and yells: "Im tired of your shitty farts and amateur porn sounds!"

Duck u all!

Hey does anyone know if the supplies room has has hand lotion? My hands feel really dry after listening to whats going on johns computer

fuck hand lotion now. this mad john is on a killing spree. duck mofo

Who wants their fucking mail?
>tips the mail cart over
Figure it out you goddamned desk jockeys

Shouldn't you be working?

*throws a molly in the air hits the roof immediately and lands infront of me. Just 1G'd myself*

*gets killed by assault rifle*
*keeps chatting with his girl in real life*

Rip mad john

Luckily for everyone Crazy John was just as crazy as he was homicidal. After all, what harm can be done with a NERF rifle?

Shhhhh i can't Listen to My "work" when you scream around like this

I swear to fucking god if Kevin doesn't quit shoulder surfing he's gonna get kicked square in that feminine penis of his

"Goddammit, get back to work!" I pull out a grenade and hold the pin tightly.

Hey bud you finish those reports that are due by tomorrow? If not no big deal man the boss is a total fucking tool..i plowed his fat wife and his daughter a couple days ago on his bear skin rug

dude, Thats a hateful Micro-agression against my porn addiction. Its not my fault i want to jack off every hour. Check your privilege or i'm calling HR

Out of the cart falls a dead prostitute. Everyone stares at the mail room guy with concern.

im not even called mike, i think hes on holiday

The fuck is "HR"

Its toby everyone fucking hates toby

Really Tim??? You’re fired!!

I didn't do anything I swear. She was here when Joe gave the cart to me...

Fat John just had a stroke. He falls down, stiff as that porn addicts dick. Secretary Stacy rushes to him and starts shouting for help. What happens next?

Fuck you toby you havent been the same wince the ball cancer

Fucking Toby man, don't bring him in here. I love The Office but not his fat face. Hey can I have your clients?

Since*

>unzips pants

Sorry about that Steve.

My clients? Shit i mean i guess so i do owe you one since you dropped my kids off into that pond a couple years back

YO YO YO ITS YOUR MAIN MAN KEVIN IN THE HOUSE! How's it hangin bitches? Getting that work done?

See. This being a company translating document for UN your misspellings have now started a war between US and North Korea. Happy?? This is unacceptable Leela

yeah, that's a package for Mary

they're watching you Mary

*whispers nigger

O'boy anons, its December. Its time for our office X-mes party. Who is going to be santa this year?

Guys cut Tim some slack. His uncle Wilson just died and he's all broken up about it.

Im sorry how about a terrible blow job to fix it

I will fuck it first this time,this the last time i fuck a cold corpse

e

This fucker just starts smoking. In the middle of our goddamn healthy Eco office. He'll, he gathered few other degenerates around him and... Is that a fucking bong? That's it, I'm calling fat Joe from security... Joe?

Quit looking at my screen Kevin

and take off the mascara

...

Donny needs you down in the mail room. Some kind of Clorox spill. Sounds bad.

thing is... I killed him. Don't tell Tim.

Get back to work faggot, the boss said he wants to reports in by friday

fuck Tim

still thinking he's some sort of NFL quarterback
faggot

It's called get the fuck out of my cubical Dylan

Who the fuck keeps stealing my stapler?!

all right. toilet NOW. and you have to wear this mask with a picture of Prince while doing it.

I can't help it, I'm a raging homosexual.

I just ate five boiled eggs and drank a monster my stomach hurt I hope there's a board meeting

Hey Tim geuss who killed your Uncle.

*Mary bolts out of the office. A tire screech and a crash can be heard*

I GO FIRST! *unzips pants and rushes out of the office*

Alright what the hell is this about? I'm on lunch break damn it.

Ok, I'll get down there HAHA, man This place. I tell you, THIS place. LOVE IT! I'm out bitches, got some shit to clean and shit.

But i am a NFL quarterbeck faggot

So whomever keeps stealing my office supplies, I hope you like HIV because I shoved all of it up my ass

Hey guys me and Tony are going to get lunch, anyone want anything?

Dude you should try out the gloryhole before the get rid of it again

dude, take two of these Xenadrine. Should help

What was that Jerry?
Did I hear you right?

Yeah, I do.
Give me a blow job would ya?

Ted Cruz?

*STROKE*

Get me Mary's sports bra from her gym bag and my lips are sealed forever. She just went to get some more copy paper in the back room.

Oh, I got you covered fam

Get me a boll of semen

Pick me up a burger and some fries man, I've got cash to pay you back nigga

FUCK he's going to kill me!!!

you going to the gas station? I'll have a tray of sushi some Little Debbies and a RockStar

Almost but even more of a faggot

what the fuck is a RockStar?

>worked here for 5 years
>I still do not know what my job is

I need someone to back me up while I'm out for a few weeks, any takers?

Oh Yea, can you grab this floor panels on the way back? Thanks.

if that's what it takes. but i need Dylan to help me. Will never pull this of by myself. If Dylan distracts her, show her your dick or whatever, and I'll do it!

Op?

Kevin- Yo man can you pick me something up? I don't have cash tho so I'll pay you back later HAHA thanks bro!

Energy drink and my lube for my lunch break

Hey guys? Does anyone know why Jorge won't talk about what happened to Emile? I mean, its weird that she's just gone.

come on nigga, it's right next to the Monster and Red Bull

ALRIGHT WHOS' CUMSHOT IS THIS?

NEVERMIND, IT'S MINE.

Can you get some cheese pizza for me? I would orderit online, but its somehow blocked

Get me a Kit Kat and a meatball sub if you're going by Big Italian Sausage downtown.

Kek

Please flood to Hillary's new video and dislike it. It already has a shit-like ratio. Let's help make it worse. youtube.com/watch?v=xbqw-yCdhNM

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WIFI PASSWORD!

OK DICK IN HOLE!

Whichever one of you mother fuckers keeps putting loaves of bread in the urinal, I'm gonna find out and you're in trouble

Now that you talk about it hes been weird since he came back from his break