cringey things you did as a child
>be me, 9 years old
>watching salad fingers on youtube
>salad fingers talks about the feeling of rusty spoons being orgasmic
>don't know what orgasmic means
>later that day, eating dinner
>"MMM...this meatloaf is orgasmic mom!"
>her face when
Be gone, child.
>be me
>10
>friends sister year younger
>hey wanna see me pee
>she says sure why not
>pee in her mouth in her room
>friend walks in
>pees in her mouth too
>she tells parents
>mfw I thought I got her pregnant
Kek
>run laps around my house ass naked until I was 6 or so.
>It was called naked racecars and my brother would join me too
Sounds like a rape story
>be me
>8 years old
>runnin around doing kid shit
>decide running and jumping into the wall face first was a good idea
Any other Anons do any other stupid shit?
Got kicked in the nuts by a horse when I was 5
Bated in public.
>be like 9
>standing in nana's huge living room
>decide to try and do backflip or the first time ever
>jump back
>land flat on back
>carpet didn't help with landing
Not me but when i was 11 or so one of my neighborhood friends was throwing a party for his 10th birthday. mfw it was a bunch of 10 year old kids naked jumping on a trampoline and swimming in a kiddy pool. I instantly dipped out
Me again. Being autistic leads to lots of awful stories.
>Be in 7th grade, on morning rubbing my clock in the shower
> Cum, but I don't realize what I'm doing but it feels good so I do it again
>At school, sitting between two clicks
>reach my hand up my shorts leg and stroke my cock
>Cum in my pants
>hide the wet spot with my lunchbox
I never knew what the confederate flag was as a 7 year old keep in mind.
>be me
>favorite show is "The Dukes of Hazard"
>Only thing I hated about the show was my bedtime was an hour and a half after I got home from aftercare so one episode per night
>buy (mom buys) shit ton of merch and toys
>love for show grows and grows
>wear my fav TDoH shirt to aftercare
>second in charge there is 250lb black woman
>General Lee car had confederate flag on roof
>makes me turn it inside out but won't say why
>be me a week later, build entire car from show out of Legos from communal Lego pit and table
>"Destroy that thing now or I'm calling your mother"
>not sure what I did seeing as she still never explained
>tell her to go ahead and call I spent hours making the car
>MFW I was forced to switched aftercare's because of it.
>be 7
>licked my cousins asshole
>Be four
>Shit on carpet
>Be alive
>Cringe
>be 40 years old
>live in basment
Alright anons, I can't sleep.
I've got a handful of retarded stories.
But here's some background, I was quite the disturbed, autistic faggot back then. With that leading to a string of events that was basically me trying to get laid.
>Be in 7th grade
>met a friend through band class
>turns out he lives just down the street from me
>he's a scifi fan, we hung around, played with lightsabers and shit
>he has a sister, cute, tomboyish.
>I flashed her because somehow wanted to illicit a reaction from her
>she would blush red and run away.
>I did this to a lot of girls around this time
>I think around 4-5 girls
>I also groped one or two
>If I had done that as an adult, I would've gotten arrested.
>but whatever, ended up with the first girl mentioned as gf for a year.
Moar cringe.
>a good 6 months after that horrorshow
>was hangin' around with a handful of guys
>got naked, carrying two fully filled waterguns
>did a backflip on a trampoline and landed on my knees, with the weight of the 'guns folding my back and shifting a disk.
I have more cringe coming.
I don't think its cringey but when I was a kid I watched my Dad play GTA: Vice City and legitimately believed Mopeds were actually called Fagios.
When on car rides I would point out: "Hey Dad a Fagio!"
My Dad would laugh while my Mom got angry.
Same faggot here, moar stories.
>I think in that same summer....
>I slept at a different friend's house
>we were on yahoo msg
>we were talking up some 17 year old girl
>wanted to see us strip
>I did that, he waited until I was done then he did that.
>She then asked for him to put his dick in my mouth
>He refused somehow
>I was confused, but didn't really care
>He decided to get out toilet paper and thought that it would preserve the "no homo" thing.
>So he did himself up first, and I did it, didn't care.
>Girls were freaking out over how insane that was
>Asked for the reverse, he told me to toilet paper up that shit, so I did, then he tried, so carefully to not touch my dick with is mouth, and then he freaked out and vomited.
>Girls sent us nudes. I saved it. We were good.
I fapped to that shit for a while until a partition error erased the data. I also realized that I was bi that evening.
>Did sharpie in pooper
>ended up loosing virginity to a guy
>he had a girlfriend
>He couldn't fit it in my ass, but strangely I could fuck him easily despite having a much larger dick than him.
>gf of the time thought I was a cheating faggot, she was right I also cheated on her with another chick
>be me
>10 years old
>jumped off a bed and tried to do a cannonball
I don't know what I expected to happen
OH! new gf cringe.
>thought that my relationship with previous girl ended
>was captain of cross country team, even though only because I was the only male 8th grader on the team.
>meet girl that had an interest in me
>we rode bikes together at times
>kissed at one point
>Fuck yeah.
>A month later and fucking some guy in the ass after giving him a blowjob
>her house burned down
>I started having depression issues
>relationship failed because I was such a huge faggot
I seriously creep'd her out over that shit
>I also went to the smoldering wreakage and pulled a lot of their things out of the fire.
>that wasn't a good thing to do, that just creeped them out more.
sounds like apretty normal childhood to me, user
I don't know why I'm cringing so hard from remembering it though...
That's not cringe on your part, your caretaker was a fucking cunt.
>be 14 year old autist
>really into senior girl cause I was a brony faggot
>sees dude and her arguing
>*yells dumb AOT reference she will never get*
>*runs off*
>whothefuckisnigga.jpg
Weeks later
>New people join club shes in(including yours truly)
>Begin to watch anime about some dog nigger with a hair fetish
>Everyone in the room immediately starts getting in an uproar about Tacos
>*yells "I WAS FROZEN TODAY."(cause I was a huge TGWTG fag)
>at the end of the day, she comes up to me
>"user, why do you keep staring at me?"
>say some dumb bullshit about how I stare at everything
week before school ending
>go up and tell her how I really like her in the cringest way I could(fidgeting around using a weird ass voice)
>She says,"Oh I'm sure you'll find someone user."
>Gets emotional on facebook
>/r/cringe.png
1 Year later
>Literally wants to die cause I fucked up that bad and got that emotional over a cunt I would never see again
>200% Depression
>be me 3rd or 4th grade
>twin bro discovers a new way to fap
you basically rub your junk at the end of a table or a chair or whatever
>decide to do it in school on breaks
>think no1 will even have a remote idea of my real intentions
>doing it regularly
>1 day teacher complains about her table being wobbly
>the sense of dread when other kids tell her what i've een doing
>the sense of dread i get when she says she knows exactly what i've been doing
>mfw
mfw, didnt upload correctly
Kek
>Be in 9th grade
>discovered hentai porn
>The computer, my computer is in the living room
>So I'd wait until the later evening
>search for porn via yobt or something
>go on various bug sites just to download clips to fap too
>would rub myself through my jeans
>My sisters would walk past me sometimes while I do this
>Why the fuck did I do that, no idea
>I would cum in my pants and fap later after getting off of the computer.
I didn't really get caught, thank you USB drives, though this was before we used WIFI and we used Ethernet cords with 200kb bandwidth
>She lets everyone pee in her mouth
>She tells on you all
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING CIS GENDERED SWINE!
+1 FEMINISM
>You brought your clock into the shower with you
I get that you were excited for shower time but holy shit, user.
>cum
>cum publicly while at school
Well, there was a clock over the teachers desk.. I guess it was just going to happen eventually.
...
>Offended by a flag
>Nazis are still allowed to fly theirs
America. Formerly home of the free and the brave.
>be me
>3rd grade
>There are two benches about 4 feet apart
>I would always jump from one to the other
>I did this after it rained
>mfw I slipped and smashed my head on the concrete bench
>mfw I say stars and then blacked out
>mfw literally no one was there when I woke up
>lunch ended 2 hours ago and no one noticed me laying unconscious or that I was missing from class
>mfw I still have problems remembering shit even though I'm 20