Chev Chelios must ______ to stay alive

Chev Chelios must ______ to stay alive

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dayjobs3.com
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

shitpost

die

Fap

how has there not been a porn parody of crank where chev has to ejaculate to stay alive

>kill
This causes him to seek out assholes in his everyday life.
>mfw he goes to a particularly "liberal" college campus

eat diamonds

Heist movie inc.

Am I the only one that was turned on when the horse jumped over the wife on the race track?

lick willies

touch boobies

What did he mean by this

eat funnel cakes

...

banepost

Cum

evanpost

Say quips

I really want to see this movie.

Talk with his asshole

get dubs

Sing

you're living it nigga

speak Pig Latin

Lick ass for vital fungal bacteria

What if jason statham is actually chelios and has to make all those mediocre action movies to stay alive

Would explain parker and all those other identical statham movies that arent crank or transporter

>work 40 hours a week

punch an immigrant

He'd surely die, though. With the timer between posts.

Would watch the directors cut with 190 hours of bonus footage

BUILD A WALL

make America great again

Crank 4: Down Under

Get cucked by BBC

receive regular enemas

How can they ever top this shit

So you want a conservative version of God Bless America? Because I lean left and I thought that movie was insufferable dogshit.

...

Neveldine/Taylor will never be able to outdo Crank 2, it's literally the pinnacle of everything they are good at as directors and the perfect distillation of their style.

What if Chev is on DMT the entire time for Crank 3

GET OUT BENJEWMAN NETWORTHYAHOO!®

"no"

breathe.

A really boring movie tbqhwyfamiglia.

Post on your phone idiot, and swipe airplane mode on and off for quick IP resets.

Fight Chev Chelios' from alternate universes

Okay.

Only watched the first 1 pretty hot when they fuck in public

So is the 2nd as good?

Crank 2 is better in every way

Complete the dark souls trilogy without sleeping or dying once

They fuck in public again but with added slo-mo hosecock.

*horsecock

Who doesn't want their fantasies turned into a movie? GBA was dogshit, though, you're right.

Chev Chelios

say racial slurs to minorities

program video games

Take Hallucinogens

Jerk Off

Drive Fast

Drink Blood

Crank 2 is Kino.

>chicken...
>and broccoli

>cunt-onese

>KAIJU FIGHT

>finger gun

Rape

Crank 2 is a celebration of excess. 12/10 on the Kino scale.

not question the Holocaust

this seems quite plausible

...

That's what I'm saying man, the next one's gotta involve mind-altering drugs in some capacity.

Nice quints

Insert crank 2 DVDs into the DVD player implanted in his chest

...

Hey guys what would be a theoretically good website to stream Crank 1 if I wanted without being banned or whatever? Ive never seen it and wanna share with anons

Fucking christ I forgot about this. Watched the first one recently, need to watch 2 again.

That's how they make it an action movie, he has to not only shitpost effectively, he also has to keep stealing people's phones and computers to get around the timer.

as much as i want another crank, i think its best to leave it as is

Chelios has 3rd degree burns, and he must kill, skin, and wear their birthday suits ala darkman to stay alive

Chev Chelios must stay calm to stay alive

if his heart beat goes above 120 it'll explode

Constantly come up with new and interesting shitposts.

that's something they would legit pull in this series

Chev Chelios must jog to stay alive, we'll call it The Running Man

Get likes and upvotes on youtube. Every like he gets adds a second to his lifecounter.

by cucked by 12 niggers

>the message he sent at the end of the first movie is just the sound of wind when played back in the second movie

Gosh where did you come up with that super idea bud?

be drug'd

snatch birthdays

succ dicc

wank 2: high cummage

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> Chev heads on over to Sup Forums and gets supercharged

>needs to get x amount of (You)s

Fucks his daughter raw

my co-worker's step-aunt makes $62 every hour on the laptop . She has been fired for eight months but last month her pay was $14139 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Check This Out.....


+_+_+ dayjobs3.com

This has potential for some clever action and a lot of keks

what the fuck, how'd this fucker get past captcha and the filter?

Skynet.

This is the first spam post I've seen on Sup Forums in YEARS.

3rd worlder probably bought a Sup Forums pass and will carry on til he gets banned

Crank 1 and Crank 2 are 10/10 movies. If you deny you are a homo loser who will never understand film

Loved that movie when I was teen. Now it looks retarded.

Keep his heartrate low.

anything over 80bpm, and his heart explodes

>he has to kill everybody in room with as few moves as he can
>the slowest car chase in history
>horny Amy Smart wants to have sex bu he can't
would watch/10

>lick a muslim's anus every ten minutes

I've seen this in a previous Crank2 thread before.

Keep doing drugs, I don't know exactly how it would work but maybe different drugs buy him different amounts of time.

That already exists and it has Johnny Depp (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)

That Mike Patton soundtrack in Crank 2 was perfect. It was basically another Fantomas album.

Statham and Neveldine/Taylor are just churning out shut when they could be working on crank 3. It'll never happen.