Hey Sup Forums...

Hey Sup Forums, do any of you know the feeling of wanting to kill yourself not because of any sort of depression but because you've lost all interest in life? Could use some closure right now, if any. I think I'm actually going to do it this time and you guys are the only ones I can really talk to, no exaggeration. I'm an autistic neet who can't have real life conversations. I just wanted to be normal and I feel like I can't force myself enough to enjoy talking to people because I hate everyone and everything. Not really expecting any replies because I didn't get any the last couple of times. I just don't know if I should do it this time but I'm 90% certain that this is what I intentionally want.

If you bother reading and don't wanna reply that's fine. All I say to you guys is thanks for being in and out of my life the past six years.

I know that feel user. I was feeling the same way a few minutes ago.

Shut the hell up!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0gZ9_Z8awo

start smoking pot. you probly wont care about any of this

I love you user

I agree OP. I don't really enjoy conversing with people and I hate having to put an effort into a conversation with people when I couldn't careless what they actually have to say. It feels so fake and empty to me. I've never had thoughts about killing myself I've just accepted I'm an introvert and enjoy my own time. Weed and the Internet are nice things.

If you commit suicide you'll never know what comes to your life. you live only once. don't do it. there is so much to experience and feel

>you've lost all interest in life?
wtf really? the world is HUGE and theres trillion things to do, if you lost interest in life itself just because you need to read more a lot more, investigate about things, traveling alone is fucking awesome, theres a lot of thing in life for solo players like a lot of us

theres also internet and its fun, go learn to do something you like... i dont like people either but im not scared of them either, you can interact with them even if you hate them, its called growing up

also no one is normal, there is common but there is no normal, so thats why you hear a lot just be yourself

you both are conversating with people in the internet right now, putting some "effort", if you dont like the people around you or the people you know, fucking meet another type of people

this planet is like a big highschool, find your niche group of people and hang out, thats it

This. I want do die at least once a day man
BUT there's so much to do and for all we know when you die it's just over. Go fuck around with something. Books, anime, movies, art, music. I'm not alive for any real reason, fill your seemingly meaningless life with hobbies. And for what it's worth I got a lot less depressed when I decided I didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything, I do whatever I want all the time and it's nice.

get into drag racing. its what i got into after i felt like that. started as a hobby with a shitty ass car, turned into full blown addiction. the shit talking, the gambling, the pure rush when you go from 0-quarter mile in 10-11 seconds. cant beat it.

This may sound vain and pointless, but sometimes a hobby can really make it worthwhile. Try to find something you love.

Kayak. Explore nature, see the water and the shore and the marine life.
Learn to box or any other martial art. The thrill of competition is incredible.
Learn to play music, Piano, guitar, sing, anything. Self-expression is key.
Learn to cook. Experiement with new recipes. Have you ever tried schezwan? It's fucking bomb. And there's a million other things to try.
Or just travel. Experience the world. you don't even need a good job. Just work diligently, live frugally, save, and then reward yourself by seeing the world when you can. There's so much out there.
Cultivate your personality.

There are an endless amount of things you can do. When you're dead, all you can do is be dead.

I find even if you aren't gifted socially, if you do your own thing, and do it exceedingly well, people will respect you for it. That alone will make you attractive to them, and make them want to hang out with you. Fuck conversations, just be around people and show them your art.

And last bit of advice, therapy is very helpful for some people. Maybe it will help you too. You obviously want to express yourself, since you're here. Find someone you can talk to. They might help.

I hope you read this, and I hope you do OK, op. I love you, Sup Forumsro. I've been there. Staying alive was worth it.

I had to stop because of job.

Yo OP

DMT

nuff said nigga

get new job, clearly you dont like it

Well said that there is No normal just "common". Beating Depression is tough work bu do not take the easy way out. Reality is all about what happens inside your head so start to explore your world and establish some fun interests and after that you will be just fine - Good luck with it...

Depression doesn't mean sad, it means depressed. As in, if you depress something, it would be the act of pushing/holding it down lower than it was originally.

You sound depressed mate. It's cool, it happens. Don't an hero because you have lost enjoyment in life.

No one is normal, but some people are good fakers. It might take more time than you want, but the ability to socialize comes to anyone who goes out and interacts. Self monitor, figure out where you are failing in your conversations. Just be honest, appear to have confidence, and do more listening than talking and you will be doing fucking phenomenal OP.

I feel no passion or strive for the idea of anything. You could shoot me full of testosterone and throw me on a hang glider. I'd feel numb, I promise. I think it was the acid trips. Ever since then I've had a growing depression that turned into a surrealism and made me realize how shit society is. I want no part of it unless there's some remote place that takes me back to my child innocence when everything wasn't entirely black and white.

Gonna post reaction pics applicable until I run out, then you get whatever I have in my downloads.

I get it, big world, so much to do and whatever. I read all the time about what's going on in the world. Eventually it came to a cease of interest. I'm not mad. Not jaded. Not bored. Just lost interest. I don't have passion for anything at all. I had plenty of hobbies before but I can hardly sit and do them anymore for five minutes.

PS, OP. You can learn to hate people less by accepting and acknowledging your own personal weaknesses and transgressions.

If you are OK with yourself, it helps in understanding and accepting other people for their own shortcomings. Everyone in this world will let you down if you give them the chance, so don't put anyone on a pedestal, treat them to the best of your capacity, and don't ever overextend yourself for another person unless you know that they would do the same for you.

But we're both talking about ourselves. We don't really care about each other unless it's personally applicable to us. If he wanted to talk about his wife and kids then I wouldn't be able to help but to think in my head "I don't actually care" the entire time because I don't. All I wanna do is talk about myself or not talk at all. That's probably a mental illness, like narcissism, but extreme. I have zero empathy towards others.

OP, that is depression.

Depression isn't muh sadness. It's anhedonia; think of the things you remember enjoying, and try to analyze which aspects of them you enjoy most. Replicate. It's easier with a partner definitely; go to a group or someone that can help - or a friend.

Maybe. We do things for different reasons, and yours won't necessarily line up with mine or his/hers.

>I have zero empathy towards others
Not everyone lacks empathy Sup Forumsro. I don't mind listening to someone talk, even if it isn't about me.

Everyone dies. We evolved not to be logical about that, because of course evolution selects for survival. The good of the individual is irrelevant to nature.

Nothing matters outside human emotions, so if you are not going to bother anyone by checking out early than nothing is lost and no one is hurt.

No one personally has anything to lose by not existing. They did not exist before they existed, nor will they after.

I'm have chronic pain and will never sleep well again. My condition is irreversible, end of story. There are no viable medical options. Drugs aren't much fun (and I LOVE drugs). My life is medium shitty and I only remain because I bring joy and humor to my sister. If she croaks, I'm out. Painless suicide is easy and anyone who fucks that up planned badly. There is no mystery to death.

If OP is tired, why not check out? Others want you to live to affirm THEIR OWN lives. They are like people with children who cannot imagine any other way and require only positive feedback for their choice.

I don't care either way because I don't need affirmation for my life or death.

BTW depression often does NOT get better. I've had a full life with chronic depression. I'm now a widower, but I've dealt with that experience and that's not why I'm open to eventual death.

When death serves me I'll choose it. It will choose me sooner or later. There is no third option.

Hunter Thompson had a very full life and checked out when it was no fun anymore. That reason was valid for him. Do what it valid for you. There is zero proof of any Sky Fairies to punish or reward your choice. You belong to yourself.

Completely understand. I have been pushing boundaries with myself and doing stuff I told myself I couldn't do before. It works quite well. There's just always this sense of "I'm going to die anyways. None of this will matter."

Should probably also mention, I'm a real youngin'. If that honestly means anything. I feel like eighty is right around the corner no matter how old I am. I don't want to get old and become any more bleak than I already am and I really don't want to lose the ability to kill myself.

Any job that doesn't drug test won't pay more than ten bucks an hour where I'm at and I'm trying to move out from my parents. My step father and I don't get along.

I respect your stance. You're right, and your individualistic approach is fair minded.

You're still projecting a little with regard to other people's reasoning. Certain parts of your view are reductive, or a bit anecdotal.

Dysthymia runs rampant in my family, and I drew the short straw. It has its ups and downs, sometimes it does get better, sometimes it doesn't.
The act of getting better is entirely up to me though, I have to make the choice to put in more work than other people to enjoy myself. So what, fuck it, most people I've met deal with depression user.

Last time I had a thread and was going to kill myself I remember an user telling me about this but I have no pc to order it online. I was working on getting one and then got laid off. I'm currently in between jobs through a temporary agency.

Stop taking drugs for a couple of fucking weeks you moron.

Thanks, man. If it matters for you to hear it at all, I'm in limbo over life or death.

Bumping thread for based OP replying to each post.

Probably won't stay til 404. GL OP.

I think I'll absorb this habit and see where it takes me. After all, I'm here for criticism of my situation, anyways. Just taking advice and reaching a mental vote for myself.

Is there anything you can do that makes you happy in the moment you do it?

I have a new subject to look into. Psychology is one of those things that aren't quite yet grayed out for me yet, half because I've always wanted to go to school for it and half because I wanted to figure out what's wrong with me.

What about service to others, OP? Does the idea of using your life to make other lives better appeal to you? There are a million ways you can do that. Maybe that will grant you some kind of fulfillment.

Sorry, I assumed incorrectly.

Albeit, it was a neutral siding to the topic, from what I took in I'm going to chalk that one onto one vote for killing myself. You make a great point on the whole "once it's not fun, just check out." Kinda like the spiel of "when it's your time, it's your time. "

Last bump for OP, farewell brother.

I did. I used to smoke pot every second I could. Found a good job, stopped smoking, realized how much that hazy feeling was holding me back from working efficiently and quit cold Turkey. Obviously, the reason I was using the substance got worse but my productivity sky rocketed. My bosses love me, I'm just a depressed husk who likes to work and they don't know that. It helped take my mind away from suicide and self worth, both the weed and the working a nine to five.

Thanks man, I'd bulk reply but I'm on mobile. Doing my best to reply guys. Don't blame you if you leave. All advice is appreciated beyond belief.

I'd like to recommend therapy one last time.

Good Luck, OP. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Don't do it, op.

It used to be video games, smoking pot, playing guitar, being at work, talking to friends, taking a walk and smoking a cig, texting, basically average normie stuff, yknow what I mean? Now whenever i do these things I can only be bleak about life. I'm extremely racist now. I find critiques in everyone and think I'm more intellectual than them for not being so critical and not noticing all of the finite negative details that I see, thus, I push them away because I can't help but hate them.

This is one of the only reasons I like to think that I'm alive. Will take suggestions, user.

Thanks, dude. I truly appreciate the help. God speed.

Think I found my new wallpaper. I'm going to get my new job and see a therapist right away when I can afford it. See what he/she says and go from there/take whatever medicine necessary. God speed, user. Thank you.

DONT DO IT. LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR!

Man, threads gonna 404 but you guys wouldn't believe how far a little closure goes. I was dead set on doing it tonight because I had no one to talk to at all. Can't thank you guys enough for yet again keeping me afloat long enough to keep asking questions instead of just giving up. I wish I could show the world some screenshots of some of my previous threads and how people from Sup Forums saved me multiple times from jumping off a bridge and killing myself. Cheers. I'm going to go play vidya with a buddy for a while and try to forget about what's been going on in my head. Have a good one, anons.

On an individual level, just being there for someone can change a life. You seem cool, you have a good job, you beat a drug addiction, so you have things going for you. You could help people just by being there on an individual level. It may give you a reason to be around.

I know its hard, but sometimes you need to just forgive people for their shortcomings. A lot of them are stupid. You probably are smarter than them. That can be immensely frustrating. But if you forgive them, before they even ask for forgiveness, that can really take a burden off of your shoulders. Just try to love them for who they are.

And on a social level, there are infinite ways to help. I'm in training to be a lawyer. I want to work with kids, because they're the only group that really can't defend themselves. Adults fuck their lives up all the time. Kids though, they just are. And things happen to them. People like us (you obviously have some interest in helping), we can be that safeguard. We can't save the world, but we can save individuals. Save their world.

There's a part of you that wants to keep living. Hang onto that part. When you get on the right path, it will grow. I promise you. I've posted in this thread a few times. When you find that path, it will be like oxygen to a dieing flame. You can come back from this. And you can help people who are where you are right now. I promise you. Just hang on.